Citizenship Test - What a Load of Crap.

[Matilda]

I hope Australians will unite against the hypocrisy and sheer stupidity of Howard's proposed new
citizenship test. If he was honest, he'd just reinstate the White Australia policy.

Migrants will have to undergo exams in English and a written multiple-choice test in order to gain
citizenship, facing questions on history, government systems, sporting traditions and - wait for it -
mateship.

Of all the idiotic ideas Howard's ever had, this one takes the cake. How would most Australians
fare if they had to sit down now and answer these sorts of questions? Exactly how does one qualify
as a "mate"? And I know plenty of dinky-di Aussies who don't particularly care for sport - does
that somehow make them less qualified?

I wonder how Howard would score in such a test? He thinks he's a cricket buff, but my son plays at
a fairly high level, and he says Howard knows bugger-all about the game, judging by comments he
makes. And other sports are no more than a photo-op for him - he's clueless. And he's no bloke -
he looks phony and uncomfortable when he puts on his stupid Akubra and tries to mix with "ordinary"
people. The only place he's really at home is Parliament House.

Howard is a mean-spirited, spiteful, divisive, racist, homophobic bigot - completely un-Australian,
in my opinion.

[gemini_liberal]

1. Welcome to the United States of Howard...

Fear and bigotry reign supreme. But hey, at least mortgages are cheap...

In other news, Rudd's rising in the polls...keep it up, Kev!

[Athelwulf]

2. I've been trying to figure out Australian politics...

... and yeah, Howard does seem pretty bad from what I can figure out.

What exactly is "mateship"?

[Random_Australian]

12. This answer is a little late, but it sort of means "strong friendship"

Australia was an extremely hard place to live until modern technology came in, and this combined with the fact that much of the population lived in small communities meant that people would go to great lengths to help out someone in trouble, even if they were not a very close friend.

Exemplefied on the fields, beaches and cliffs of Gallipoli in the first world war - people would get up out of the trenches to pull the wounded back in at enourmous risk to themselves. (Note that Gallipoli was not a famous victory like Normandy in WW II, but it did have incredibly high casualty rates)

[PinkUnicorn]

3. Sample questions

...facing questions on history, government systems, sporting traditions and - wait for it -
mateship....

Oh I can imagine the questions...

History
Q1) What was the white Australia policy?

A - A racist policy created by bigots?
B - A dirty chapter in Australia's history?
C - A wonderful policy from the Menzies era to keep A-rabs and Gooks out of a loyal British subject colony?
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything

Government
Q2) What was the children overboard affair?

A - A opportunity to spread fear and get re-elected?
B - A pile of lies and distortions?
C - A example of how stinky foreigners are evil and un-Australian?
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything

Sporting Tradition
Q3) A group of drunken football players rape a woman. Should they...

A - Be punished to the maximum extent of the law?
B - Be punished to the maximum extent of the law and be banned from sporting for life?
C - Be taken for a few drinks at the pub to laugh over the incident as a harmless game?
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything.

Mateship
Q4) Mateship is described as...

A - Helping anyone out regardless of race/sex/creed.
B - Helping close friends out regardless of race/sex/creed
C - The act of performing fellatio on more important head of state (preferably white) so as to be patted on the head
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything

* If you answered all 'A' or 'B' then I am afraid you are one of those un-Australian foreigner pinko commie hippie types.
You will be sent to the lovely training camps of Guantanamo bay or Naru to have you application re-assessed at a later date after learning Howards 'Australian values'.

* If you answered all 'C' then congratulations you are eligible to become an official citizen of Howard-land.

* If you answered all 'D' please submit your resume to the Federal government to become eligible to be a minister.

[Matilda]

4. That's wonderful.

Do you mind if I send it on to a few friends?

[gemini_liberal]

5. Let's see how well I do...

History
Q1) What was the white Australia policy?

A - A racist policy created by bigots?
B - A dirty chapter in Australia's history?
C - A wonderful policy from the Menzies era to keep A-rabs and Gooks out of a loyal British subject colony?
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything

Government
Q2) What was the children overboard affair?

A - A opportunity to spread fear and get re-elected?
B - A pile of lies and distortions?
C - A example of how stinky foreigners are evil and un-Australian?
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything

Sporting Tradition
Q3) A group of drunken football players rape a woman. Should they...

A - Be punished to the maximum extent of the law?
B - Be punished to the maximum extent of the law and be banned from sporting for life?
C - Be taken for a few drinks at the pub to laugh over the incident as a harmless game?
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything.

Mateship
Q4) Mateship is described as...

A - Helping anyone out regardless of race/sex/creed.
B - Helping close friends out regardless of race/sex/creed
C - The act of performing fellatio on more important head of state (preferably white) so as to be patted on the head
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything

Dear Mr. Howard, I'm white, rich and heterosexual and I'll donate a huge some of money to your next campaign and vote for you if I become a citizen.


So, did I pass?

[Djinn]

6. just to be pedantic

History
Q1) What was the white Australia policy?

A - A racist policy created by bigots?
B - A dirty chapter in Australia's history?
C - A wonderful policy from the Menzies era to keep A-rabs and Gooks out of a loyal British subject colony?
D - I don't know. I wasn't told anything

WAP wasn't a Menzies era policy. It began in the 1800's and was designed to keep out Chinese gold miners and was instigated by the Labor supported Protectionist party after trade union protests and particularly the Lambing Flats riots.

The "non white" discriminatory sections of the Immigration Restriction Act were progressively removed after WW2

[gemini_liberal]

7. It's parody, not a history lesson

I think the point of announcing it as a Menzies era policy is so the fictitious test (presumably sanctioned by Howard) can highlight what a "great era" it was...

[Matilda]

8. In the HSC results announced this week,

a young Iraqi girl, Sara Dawood, topped NSW in two subjects (Arabic studies). She arrived here
three years ago after living stateless in Yemen for three years, and could hardly speak a word
of English.

Under Howard's proposed Citizenship Test, she wouldn't have been allowed in, although she's
obviously bright and motivated.

Interesting, isn't it?

Come to think of it, I recall that years ago, when I was in the final year of primary school, we
had a newcomer join our class from the Netherlands. She spoke no English at all at the beginning
of the year, but by the end of that year, she was Dux of the school. We went to the same high
school, where she was also ultimately Dux, and she's now a child psychiatrist. She would also not
have passed Howard's test.

[BorisTheBlade]

9. Agreed

My finace is not an aussi citizen. I agree its a silly idea with no real purpose.

[Esra Star]

10. Howard just runs these ideas past us to see what the reaction is.

He can then use "hot button" topics to distract us when he
doesn't want us to notice that he is doing something naughty.
Welcome to DU btw

[Matilda]

11. You're right there.

But isn't it interesting that his ideas are always narrow, sectarian, racist, or bigoted? He never
comes up with anything enlightened or forward-thinking, but always aims solidly at the rednecks.