WHAT IF........(freepers be warned: contents could be disturbing)

[VTGold]

DUers, put your pleasant dreams hat on....



Florida Free Press - March 13, 2006

Tallahassee, FL - - California-based EVS (Evergreen Voting Systems) announces it has been awarded contracts to provide their SIB (Star Is Born) touch-screen electronic voting machines to counties throughout Florida.

Conspiracy theorists balked during the bidding process when founder and CEO, Barbara Streisand, now a Florida resident, offered to have all machines manufactured in Florida if this would increase the company's chance of being awarded the contract.

Opponents of electronic voting machinery were equally disturbed when in a January letter to Clinton/Obama supporters, Ms. Streisand, also the Chairman of the Clinton/Obama campaign in Florida, announced her determination to deliver Florida's electoral votes for Hilary Rodam Clinton.

Florida could well be the state which decides this election. When questioned about this inherent conflict of interest, "It was an error in judgment on my part" replied Ms Streisand, "from this day forward neither I nor anyone in the EVS family will publicly endorse one candidate or another."

Ms. Streisand, a frequent visitor to Senator Clinton's suburban New York retreat, The Village, is a Genius level contributor to the Clinton/Obama campaign. Genius level contributors raise up-wards of $500,000, Intellectuals $250,000 and Thinkers $100,000.

The Village is often described as a Liberal think tank and is located in Chappaqua NY. Only top contributors are reportedly invited to The Village.

Electronic voting machines have fueled much controversy as they provide no true way to audit elections - there is no paper trail and the code used to program the function of the machines and counting of the votes is propriety - in other words, secret and owned by the company.

When asked why it so imperative to conceal code for a machine which is basically a glorified calculator, EVS spokeswoman, Whoopi Goldberg replied that "conspiracy theorists are injecting doubt into the election process, which is very damaging to the system."

When questioned about the machines' lack of a paper trail, Ms Goldberg stated that many local Boards of Elections were concerned about the extra cost of fitting the machines with printers.

"Basically they are saying 'trust us' ", a highly placed campaign worker in the Frist/Delay camp told us. "Trust is a wonderful thing, but it has no place in the elections process - which should be fully transparent. Faith in the system is the cornerstone of Democracy."

The debate over these electronic voting systems will no doubt continue in the run-up to Election Day - and indeed after.

[spooked911]

1. Good one!

:toast: :7

[proud2BlibKansan]

2. We can only pray.

n/t

[okieinpain]

3. why not. where do i send donations.

[AmerDem]

4. .

[VTGold]

5. Forget to take your imagination pill? :)

[AmerDem]

6. well

I first seen the date and didn't bother reading through it. It's not often we have people go through the effort of writing a complete satire on this issue. It smelled bad from the first words so I didn't bother.

Sorry I missed your wit before reading.

[VTGold]

7. I was trying to show how ridiculous the other side is - and hoping

moderate freepers would be able to empathize.

Happy New Year - hope its a good one for us :)

[StClone]

8. Whoa I think you should have put a Stronger warning for Freeps

It could be harmful and shake them to the core like a Tsunami creating quake. Thanks :-)

[VTGold]

9. P.S. - needless to say - all of the above is exactly what happned in OH...

...including Wally O'Dell telling Blackwell that if he gets the contract he would have the machines made in OH.

[many a good man]

10. Highly effective piece

Congrats!
:kick:

[bunny planet]

11. Good one for the lurking freeps. I always wish they had the intelligence

to suppose what they would feel if the circumstances were 'on the other foot' so to speak and everything that has occured had gone against their favor. They'd be marching in the street right now if the Babs story above was true. Their freeper panties would be in such an uproar. Such hypocrites.

[hvn_nbr_2]

12. You forgot to include some felons

among the management and to mention that the chief programmer has felony convictions for writing software with backdoors to commit fraud. But I did like the piece.

[VTGold]

14. Oh yeah! That'll be Part 2..... n/t

[KnowerOfLogic]

13. LOL!! -This really puts it in perspective! nt