Just finished the newest book by Bill Maher

[bumblebee1]

The title is "New Rules- Polite Musings from a Timid Observer:

While reading, I found myself laughing at all the different rules. I want to share a few of my favorites:

Deja View: Enough with the reunion shows. First we endured DALLAS getting back together, then the gang from HAPPY DAYS. That didn't make me say, "I wonder what Schneider's been up to?" If i cared about what a bunch of hasbeens from the '80's thought, I'd have backed Bush's war plans.

C3 Pee-yew- You can stop releasing STAR WARS now. We've seen it. I don't care if it'sn in a box set, if it's remastered or redigitized, if there are bonus scenes ot a director's commentary; it's still a space move for guys who can't get laid.

Love Thy Neighbor- Don't try to talk to me about DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. If I had the slightest interest in other people's sex lives, I'd be a Republican.

Electile Dysfunction- It's a long one, so I'll tell you my favorite part. It's about the conventions. Here's my favorite two sentences: " So, it's not exciting enough just to hear Teresa Heinz Kerry? Sorry, next time we'll get Justin Timberlake to whip out her tit."

The quips in this book are vintage Maher. If you get the chance, pick up this book and read it. You may find yourself agreening with a lot of it and laughing at the same time.

[pacalo]

1. Thanks for sharing. I've been planning to get the book.

Here's one of my favorite "New Rule" that I transcribed after it was televised:

The people in America who are most in favor of the Iraq war, must now go there & fight it. The Army missed its recruiting goal by 42% last month. More people joined the Michael Jackson fan club. We’ve done picked all the low-lying Lyndie England fruit. And now, we need warm bodies…

Now last week in North Carolina, a Baptist minister told 9 members of his congregation that unless they renounced their 2004 vote for John Kerry they had to leave his church. Well…if we’re that certain these days that George Bush is always that right about everything, then going to Iraq to fulfill the glorious leader’s vision would seem the least one could do. And hey, if it makes it any easier for you, just think of it as a reality show: Fear Factor: Shitting in Your Pants edition.

Now, I know you’re thinking, ’But Bill…I already do my part with the “Support Our Troops” magnet I have on my Chevy Tahoe. How much more can one man give?’ Here’s an intriguing economic indicator. It’s been almost a year since they’ve graduated, but neither of the Bush twins has been able to find work. Why don’t they sign up? Do they hate America or just freedom in general?

But mostly, we have to send Mr. & Mrs. Brittany Spears. Because Brittany once said, “We should trust our president in every decision he makes. And we should just support that & be faithful in what happens.” Okay, somebody has to die for that.

In summation, you cannot advocate for something you wouldn’t do yourself.

[madmom]

2. just bought the book tonight...

my daughter was reading it on the way home laughing out loud all the way.She said she might have to buy her own copy.

[mgnk99]

3. oh

sounds interesting.

[CrispyQ]

4. I was flipping through it in the book store & LMAO

A gentleman in the same section came over & said, "I have to ask what you're reading." I showed him the cover. He said he loved Bill & didn't realize he had a new book out. Without even looking through it he added it to his basket.

I liked this one (paraphrased):

Of course we should let priests get married. What better way to assure their celibacy?