“Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” - Amy Chua

[groovedaddy]

“There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids’ true interests,” Amy Chua writes. She ought to know, because hers is the big one: “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” a diabolically well-packaged, highly readable screed ostensibly about the art of obsessive parenting. In truth, Ms. Chua’s memoir is about one little narcissist’s book-length search for happiness. And for all its quotable outbursts from Mama Grisly (the nickname was inevitable), it will gratify the same people who made a hit out of the granola-hearted “Eat, Pray, Love.”

You might wonder how this is possible. In “Eat, Pray, Love,” Elizabeth Gilbert presented herself as a seeker of solace, whereas Ms. Chua eagerly overacts the role of wicked witch. The litany of her outrages has made her an instant conversation piece. What kind of mother throws her 3-year-old out in the cold? (“You can’t stay in the house if you don’t listen to Mommy.”) Or complains that her family’s pet rabbits aren’t smart enough? (“They were unintelligent and not at all what they claimed to be.”) Or, most memorably, makes her two daughters’ music lessons so grueling that one girl leaves tooth marks on the piano?

Ms. Chua claims that this is the essence of tough Chinese parenting, as opposed to the lax Western kind. And already her book has a talking point: What does she mean by Chinese and Western? She is of Chinese descent, but she grew up in the American Midwest. (“How I wished I could have a bologna sandwich like everyone else!”) She became a law professor and now teaches at Yale. She and her husband, another Yale law professor, hired a Chinese nanny to speak Mandarin, though Ms. Chua doesn’t speak it herself. Ms. Chua grew up as a Roman Catholic, but her daughters were raised as Jews.

So she admits to using the term “Chinese mother” loosely — so loosely that even “a supersuccessful white guy from South Dakota (you’ve seen him on television)” told her his working-class father was a Chinese mom. (The book carries an “it will leave you breathless” blurb from South Dakota’s own Tom Brokaw.) And what she uses “Chinese mother” to mean is this: driven, snobbish and hellbent on raising certifiably Grade A children. Ms. Chua contrasts these attitudes with the sappy “Western” ones that can be found in Disney movies, where a mere romp in the ocean can be construed as a happy ending.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/20/books/20book.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha28

[hedgehog]

1. The story of the three year old out in the snow is even better when

you hear more details: in a a radio interview, Ms. Chua related that that day she decided it was time for the three year old to learn to play the piano. The child was put outdoors for failing to comply with instructions to hit these three keys this way.

Ms. Chua is the emblem of every middle class and upper middle class parent complaining about all the kids in kindergarten spending time playing when they could be learning algebra!

[NewJeffCT]

2. Just posted on this topic on Facebook...

But, I think Chua's children did well (so far) because they had a lot of advantages in their lives - parents who were wealthy enough & successful enough to hire a Chinese nanny, buy a piano & pay for years of music lessons, etc, etc.

They have done well in spite of their mother because they had so many advantages in life already.

[DBoon]

3. and a strong Chinese family compensates for peer isolation

A family that supports you through adulthood is necessary for this to work - Americans rely on their peer groups for support so socializing at an early age is very important.

You better have a family that will support you through college, career, business connections, marriage, etc. if you are raised this way

[Paladin]

4. Precisely. This Is Strictly An Upper-Middle Class Cat Fight.

Regular people don't have the time to be so breathtakingly ugly to their kids. This is about the upper crust going to sadistic extremes to get their darlings into Yale and Stanford. Sickening.....