Which of these films is the worst?

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

Poll question: Which of these films is the worst?

[roguevalley]

1. Myra Breckenridge. Rachel Welch with a penis. Discuss.

[flamingyouth]

2. Hey, that's a great terrible movie!

:D

[GRLMGC]

5. have you seen Sextette?

God, is that painful.

[imenja]

40. true, but I enjoyed the book

I read it when I was 12, sick with tonsillitis. I found it fascinating.
I always loved Mae West. So even though the movie was bad, I enjoy seeing her regardless.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. "Death to Smoochy."

Heinous.

[jobycom]

17. See, that can't be in the list, because people liked it

For instance, my list would include Ferris Buehler, which I consider literally the worst decent budget film ever made, and True Lies-- both were so full of stereotypes and clishes they could have been written by a team of Madison Avenue advertisers just to steal your money. But there are those who like one or both, and I've seen people claim that Ferris Buehler is one of their favorites. So I couldn't throw those on a list like this.

Same with Death to Smoochie. I thought it was genius... well, minor genius, but better than, say, Lord of the Rings.

The films in the original post, aside from the English Patient (which shouldn't be there), are universally reviled. It's not easy to make a list that pure.

[Ediacara]

27. I loved Death to Smoochy

I was expecting I would hate it because it had Robin Williams (who has become the worst actor of our generation) and was about creepy Captain Kangaroo wannabes.

I loved it.

Maybe it was because it wasn't horrible, but I thought it was brilliant.

[unblock]

i thought "che!" (1969) had that honor

at least, until ishtar came out.

[lenidog]

4. I have two

The first one is called "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things." This film is so horrible that even massive does of alchohol can't make it bearable. The other I haven't exactly seen strait it was on MSTK3000 and was so bad that they had trouble getting you to laugh at it and they apologized for how bad it was. The name of this stinker was "Manos: The Hand of Fate." Now don't get me wrong some films are so bad they have a sense of grandeur about them and some are so bad that you can get a fw laughs out of them. That makes them enjoyable at the very least. These films just suck.

[tuvor]

6. Who's been unfortunate enough to know for sure?

Looks like a bad movie marathon you have going there.

[lenidog]

7. Chairman of the Board

That is nothing. If I really want to scare yourself watch "Young Einstein."

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

11. Dear God. I forgot that one.

Abomination. An abomination.

[GRLMGC]

8. Orgy of the Dead

It's so crappy. Sure, there are some crappy funny parts but its mostly naked dancing girls who can't dance. BAD

[BlueJazz]

9. The Blair Witch Projectile

I was actually glad when the Characters died....

[Piperay]

13. You beat me to it

that is the worst movie I have ever seen. I was literally sick from the jerky camera movements. :puke: :puke: :puke:

[jobycom]

19. Scared the friggin' crap out of me for two weeks.

I saw that film and thought, "Wow, cute." Went to bed later thinking nothing of it.

I woke up around three that morning screaming, in a cold sweat, and could not stop trembling. I turned on the light and hid under the covers. I was afraid to look over the edge of the bed or at the closet door. I did this for two weeks, sleeping with the light one, waking up screaming.

After two weeks, it stopped. It was like that film flipped some primeval switch in my psyche that took two weeks, then completely reset.

And no, no other film or event has done that to me, except once, the first time I saw the painting "The Scream." I had one nightmare that night, and it was the first time I woke up screaming. But it was over after that nightmare.

For the record, I'm 39, so I wasn't a kid. And I don't scare easily or often.

[lazarus]

31. glad someone else got it

I think too many people mistake being grossed out or startled with being scared.

Too many "horror films" really just try to horrify. Or they use stupid musical stingers and jump editing to get a jolt out of the audience.

But BWP actually scared me. The only other two films to ever scare me that much are Jaws and Alien.

[Khephra]

35. I'm with you once again

IMO, you have to look at BWP as more of a haunted house experience than a real movie. Years later I'm still unsure what that last shot was and I still wonder.

One of these days I'm going to have to rent it to stop on the last few shots to finally find out.

In my experience, hype and highered expectations causes a lot of people to revolt against the film just to be "cool". (of course I'm not talking about any of the BWP haters in this thread. ;-) )

[ExclamationPoint]

38. Yes, Horrible movie

Very predjudiced too!

[Miami Liberal]

45. If you think BW was bad BW2 was even worse

I can't believe I paid money to see that piece of sh*t

[NWHarkness]

10. Of those listed, The English Patient

The others are just bad, The English Patient is morally repugnant.

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

12. Thank you! Someone agrees with me!

I tell you, I still can't figure out how that film got nine Oscars. Somebody sold their soul to Satan himself to get those Oscars.

[Phillycat]

26. We are in total agreement on that.

[Killarney]

14. Worst movie ever: SAFE with Julianne Moore

wugh.

[jobycom]

16. I have to watch it, then

I can't imagine hating anything Julianne Moore does.

[Killarney]

23. OK, but remember that I tried to warn you!

:)

[Khephra]

36. Are you sure?

Remember, she was also in "ASSASSINS", "EVOLUTION",the PSYCHO remake and "HANNIBAL".

[PallasAthena]

46. SAFE

Julianne Moore wasn't the problem here. It was such a bizarre film, it was not possible to tell if it was serious or a gigantically snide take on narcissism.

[bunkerbuster1]

15. Red Dawn.

So awful, for so many reasons.

[puddycat]

28. I think Red Dawn is a wonderful movie!

Although I never subscribed to the whole "red scare" thingy, I always liked the film "Red Dawn". It was a very interesting film and the conceit of the Russians invading the USA was well done. I love Patrick Swayze in it.

[RaleighNCDUer]

33. Actually, it was the scary Nicaraguans with Russian advisors --

and I did like the former Sandanista learning that he had become everything he had fought against when he was himself a guerilla. I think it had some interesting things to say about the nature of fascism and rebellion.

How many Iraqis today could be Wolverines?

[puddycat]

34. Nicaraguans & Cubans were part of the Soviet invasion forces

Interesting point about the Iraqi "insurgents" and the Wolverines.

[jobycom]

18. Van Helsing (SPOLIER, but it might save two hours of your life)

How I can hate a movie with Kate Beckinsale and Hugh Jackman, I'm not sure, but did anyone like it?

And, okay, Kate gets slammed against every pillar and stone wall in the film. Every couple of minutes some monster strikes her in the midsection, she flies through the air for fifty feet, strikes a stone wall, then drops twenty feet onto a stone surface. At least a dozen times this happens. The worst she gets from it is a sexy little rivulet of blood from her cute little pouty lip.

Then at the end, a big dog falls on her and she dies, without a scratch to her body or a single tear in her clothing. This was bad even by Hollywood standards.

[Milo_Bloom]

20. Yep, I liked it.

When I go see something like Van Helsing, I just go in with a completely different mindset... I am about to watch a bubble-gum, pop movie with lots of tame gore, but cool effects. It delivered on that promise.

[jobycom]

22. I had that same mindset

Still couldn't take it. The effects were so poor they were like watching a Microsoft screensaver. I couldn't find a plot with a microscope.

I mean, I liked Waterworld. I even liked Messenger. I'm easy to please.

[Milo_Bloom]

21. Mr. Wrong with Ellen DeGeneres n/t

[MISSDem]

24. I loved the English Patient the last times I have watched it.

I did not like it the first time I tried to watch - just rewound it after about 30 minutes.

[Patiod]

25. Thank God I've never seen any of them

Even though I don't have cable and my local broadcast channels show some pretty bad stuff on Sat and Sun afternoons...

[Tafiti]

29. I've got the trump card!

And if anyone's ever seen "Killing Me Softly" w/ Joseph Feinnes and Heather Graham, I think you'll agree.

I watched it in Madrid while I was studying abroad, and everyone in the theater literally laughed when the credits came up - which shows how ridiculous it was considering it was supposed to be serious as hell. Fucking awful, to the point of laughter.

[Touchdown]

30. I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE!

Sorry, but it can't be said unless it's yelled.

[Bombtrack]

32. Gigli wasn't that bad

if you fast forwarded to watch just the yoga scene and then turned it off

[Khephra]

37. I forget its name

but it was a film about a Japanese torture camp that showed Chinese men and women being experimented upon and killed in horrible ways. I can't even remember the name. From what I understand, there's a whole sub-genre of films like it out East.

I'm a gore hound, but that film was too close to horrific reality for me.

[Kire]

39. Ernest Goes to Africa

[ThorsHammer]

41. Blair Witch, Waterworld (nt)

[Chovexani]

42. Obligatory mention of Manos: The Hands of Fate

Hey, I'm a MSTie, what can I say?

I defy you to find a movie worse than that. (Tho' Hobgoblins comes awfully close)

[2sheds]

44. The Coleman Francis films ...

"The Skydivers", "The Beast of Yucca Flats", and "Red Zone Cuba" -- IMO, at least as bad as "Manos". It's almost painful to think about so many bad movies at once ...

But Hikeeba to a fellow MSTie!

[darkism]

47. Here's seconding Manos

Though "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies" was almsot as bad (and with even worse sound mixing!)

[Longgrain]

43. I take no one here has seen "The Apple"

1980 Science fiction/ disco fantasy filled with weird biblical overtones.
Absolutly unwatchable train wreak from the days of glam...Makes the BeeGee SGT. Pepper movie look like "My Fair Lady".
I've seen it about 20 times (I love bad movies)

[AgadorSparticus]

48. i really could not sit through Vanilla Sky. that was pretty BAD.

[shain from kane]

49. 200 Motels, n/t