Man Caught Masturbating While Watching “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows”

[marmar]

Man Caught Masturbating While Watching “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows”






from FilmDrunk:

At approximately 1:10pm, the Bluffton (South Carolina) Police Department responded to Sea Turtle Cinemas, (responding to a 911 call about) an individual that was exposing himself in the movie theater.

When officers arrived, they were directed by theater employees to a projection booth, which was playing a Harry Potter movie. From this location, they were able to look into the back row and observe a white male touching his exposed genitals. Officers then entered the theater and identified the suspect as Alexander Ofner, 39. Ofner was arrested for Indecent Exposure and transported to the Beaufort County Detention Center to await bond hearing. (Police Report via TSG)

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/11/man-caught-fondling-wand-during-harry-potter-emma-watson-suspected

[rfranklin]

1. Emma Watson is hot!

From what language is that post translated?

[realisticphish]

3. don't be dissing FilmDrunk...

brilliantly funny site...

[xchrom]

2. well -- he saw something in that movie that i didn't. nt

[YOY]

4. Was it one of these dudes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N8x0Fb3Rxg

[Poll_Blind]

5. As a projectionist, I used to catch people masturbating, having sex in the house.

Nasty. After working at a theater years ago I don't like going to movies for this reason. And sometimes it's normal, nice-looking people. I remember running the Michael Keaton film "Multiplicity" once and seeing a nice lady near the back (it was a day show, almost entirely empty theater) just masturbating away- squish-ah, squish-ah, squish-ah. Freaky because she looked totally ordinary, maybe school-teacher-ish.

I guess all those Michael Keatons overwhelmed her.

Some of it was teens. And some your honest-to-god, spot-a-mile-away pervs. One of the pervs I'll never forget- earlier in the week he'd stormed out of a movie and demanded a refund because of some sex scene in a movie- like a Spiderman movie or something like that. Anyway, he mostly went to kids movies during the day when the houses were basically empty. Caught him whacking it to The Big Green, a Disney movie about a kids soccer team. Total sickness.

Seriously, the shit that goes on in movie theater seats- if your seat could talk it, you would not want to be sitting in it.

Or people who go to the theater with poorly functioning colostomy bags, diarrhea, etc. Oh yes, it happens. And then there's the run of the mill puking. For some reason which I've never really been able to figure out, statistically it seems like people puke at theaters way more than (at least I'd imagine) they do in real life.

PB

[Catherine Vincent]

6. Oh my. Thanks for that.

I may not visit any theatre for a while. I always wondered about the seats though. x(

[YOY]

7. Micheal Keaton does some strange shit to people...

n.t.

[qazplm]

10. I assume/hope

that the farther to the front you sit the less likely you are to be sitting somewhere where someone did the self-nasty.

[callous taoboy]

11. Ewwww!

:puke:

[Fire Walk With Me]

8. This man hates Lord Valedemort.

He was just trying to use his wand to do the "Crucio" curse.

Someone has to defend Harry, don't they?

[mackerel]

9. lol