DotNet Web Developer Needed -- DC Metro Area -no Telecommute

[bushh8ter]

WEB DEVELOPER

Expovision, Inc. is a full service, convention hotel management services company developed in 1995 to meet the convention community‘¦s growing demand for high quality hotel management. Our entire staff is committed to customer satisfaction and service excellence. We created a proprietary, real-time, internet-based reservations system called Expobook, which is constantly upgraded with state-of-the art technology. This technology coupled with our staff of professionals allows us to offer a level of service that is unrivaled in the industry. Please visit our website located at www.expovision.com to learn more about us.

We are looking for a Web Developer who is a self-starter motivated by a fast-paced, small organization with leading edge technology. The following are requirements of this position:

„« B.S. in Computer Science, Math or Engineering or equivalent
„« Proven ability to independently analyze needs and design technical strategy to clearly define WBS
„« Proven ability to work independently and as part of a team environment
„« Excellent organizational and communication skills

„« 5+ years of overall experience in full-life cycle software development and a solid understanding of Internet technologies
„« 3+ years of experience with SQL Server (preferred) or Oracle
„« 3+ years HTML, DHTML, ASP, ADO, COM+, JavaScript
„« 2+ years of experience designing multi-tiered enterprise applications
„« 2+ years of solid experience in OOA-D methodologies
„« 2+ year(s) experience in Microsoft .NET framework and NET Class Hierarchy, and/or ASP.NET C#, ADO.NET

Additionally the following is helpful but not required:
„« Experience with creative web design, art, and/or print
„« Experience with travel agency technology such as Pegasus, Global Distribution Systems, Expedia, etc. plus
„« 2+ years experience in the use of configuration management tools and policies including familiarity with Visual SourceSafe
„« 2+ year(s) develop reports using Crystal Reports for .NET
„« 1+ years of experience in building high volume OLTP web applications

Expovision is located in Falls Church, VA just off of Arlington Blvd. connected to the Fairview Park Marriott Hotel. We offer a competitive salary and great benefits package. Qualified candidates please send your resume and cover letter directly to [e-mail] for the Web Developer position.

[Dogmudgeon]

1. Just look at those requirements!

„« 5+ years of overall experience in full-life cycle software development and a solid understanding of Internet technologies
„« 3+ years of experience with SQL Server (preferred) or Oracle
„« 3+ years HTML, DHTML, ASP, ADO, COM+, JavaScript
„« 2+ years of experience designing multi-tiered enterprise applications
„« 2+ years of solid experience in OOA-D methodologies
„« 2+ year(s) experience in Microsoft .NET framework and NET Class Hierarchy, and/or ASP.NET C#, ADO.NET
„« 2+ years of experience in using bullet characters and code pages correctly (UTF-8 a must!)
„« Must be able to hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis and/or copy of Microsoft BOB.

Most programmers with those kinds of credentials have been working with Dr. Charles Forbin on the Colossus Project for the past decade.

.NET hasn't even been stable for two years. This reminds me of the jobs I saw that were looking for "5+ years of Java" the first year Java had been released. And they want seven years of "solid" experiences! The "competetive salary" for all that ought to be over $150,000 per annum. Plus benefits, expenses, an open tab for Jolt, a new car each month, exemption from Virginia and/or Maryland cat ownership limits, membership in the Eric S. Raymond Linux-Distro-and-Gun-of-the-Month Club, twenty pints of guaranteed virgin's blood per year for immortality treatments, and a choice of Renee O'Connor or Wil Wheaton as their live-in slave.

Right after the legally-mandated 100 rejection letters are sent out, this baby's goin' straight to India for sure!

Cynical? Moi?

--p!
And to think -- I actually like cats, Linux, guns, bullets (UTF-8 or otherwise), Eric S. Raymond, virgins, Renee and Wil.