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Why believe in whatever you believe in (and disbelieve what you disbelieve) if you don't think that your own position is the best conclusion that you could come to?
If you are willing to admit that you do indeed thing you're right about something, what's the difference between, one the one hand, confidently expressing a what you believe to be a well-reasoned conclusions, being willing to listen to other views while expecting good argumentation and logic from those who express disagreement with you own views, and, on the other hand, coming across as smugly superior and dismissive of other viewpoints? Let's call one position being a Confident Advocate (CA) and the other position being a Smug Asshole (SA).
While I'd like to think of myself as a CA for atheism, and for skepticism about the supernatural and paranormal in general, I'm sure that, for some people at least, I often come across as an SA.
I suppose a big part of what makes a difference between being perceived as a CA or as an SA is in the differences, often unspoken, between what different people mean when they talk about being "right". For me, "right" does not mean "gives me a greater feeling of purpose". "Right" does not mean "helped me get through grief" or "helped me get over an addiction". It doesn't mean finding a community of like minded people, it doesn't mean feeling at peace with oneself or at one with the universe or any of that.
For me the "rightness" of a point of view is how well it corresponds to facts, to verifiable objective reality. "Rightness" might also mean simply avoiding making unsupportable claims. What it doesn't mean is "right for him" or "right for her", whatever makes a particular person happiest or provides him or her with the best coping strategy for life. (That sort of "personal truth" is not always benign as it might sound. It can be used to support irrational fears, ugly prejudices, and selfish plans of action that adversely affect others.)
I'm not, of course, dismissing that some things in life are very personal and individual. To use a trivial example, only you can judge your own favorite flavor of ice cream, or if you like any sort of ice cream at all. But to refer to one's favorite flavor as a "personal truth" is to water down the potency of the word "truth" for matters best left to words like "taste" and "perspective". It takes a long tangential argument that I don't want to fully elaborate right now to explain this, but when you treat the existence or not existence of deities as a "truth" which is just as malleable and personal as a favorite flavor of ice cream, you make discussing practically any subject matter impossible, undermining the basis for any sort of clear and consistent communication.
I suppose if I'm talking to someone who prefers a very loose, personalized idea of "truth" -- the kind of person who loves the "three blind men and the elephant" analogy -- the very way I try to have an R/T discussion, in terms of an underlying universal truth, could likely set off their SA alarm. While many people who talk about "personal truth", or "people of all beliefs having a different piece of the truth", to me this comes off not so much as a real philosophy about the nature of truth as it does a diplomatic technique to avoid conflict, or perhaps to avoid the doubts that would arise about their own beliefs if they really chose to face all the inherent conflict between many different religious and spiritual doctrines.
If I had borrowed a thousand dollars from you last week, then today when you asked me about getting your money back I'd said something like, "Hmmm. In my reality I don't believe I borrowed any money from you.", you're not going to buy that line. You aren't going to look at this as two different, equally valid truths. You'll treat what you remember as true, and what I remember as false. If you're incredibly kind you might give me the benefit of the doubt that I simply forgot, but you sure as hell aren't likely to accept the literal truth of my excuse, and imagine a world where it's really possible for such contradictions to be simultaneous true.
In the larger scheme of things, however, a thousand dollars is a pretty trivial matter compared to say, whether or not God exists. Why, and how, should comparatively trivial things like a little borrowed money be subject to the rules of a consistent, shared, objective reality, yet big questions like the ultimate nature of the universe be matters of personalized, inconsistent, mutually contradictory "realities"? How many people really accept that an atheist lives in a universe where no gods were ever needed to create that universe, and simultaneously accept that the atheist can interact across radically different universes to talk to someone else who lives in a different universe that absolutely required God, or Izanagi and Izanami churning the oceans with a spear, to come into being?
What's kind of amusing (or annoying) is running into people who are almost "militantly" (to abuse the word as it is often abused around here regarding atheists) ecumenical (I mean this not just in the Christian sense of the word), who can tolerate and embrace not just the people who believe a wide variety of faiths, but all of those faiths themselves, as "different paths to the truth", while not being able to tolerate the expression of the belief that their own epistemology is an unworkable mess. Skepticism is, apparently, often pretty low on the ranking of "different paths", if it's allowed to count at all.
What really gets to me are the people who are trying so desperately to feign humility, to deny any claim to superiority, while they are simultaneously claiming to have attained certain "levels" or "stages" of Spiritual Awareness that others around then have not reached, a Smug Asshole point of view as I see things, performing all sorts of rhetorical backflips to avoid saying this makes them "better" or "more knowledgeable" or "more perceptive" than anyone else... even though they "passed through" the "stage" you're at, even though their oh-so-enlightened view apparently encompasses, subsumes, and surpasses your limited grasp of the truth, and it's so impossible for them to make you understand what they see until you're "ready", or have followed their path, or gained their "sensitivity". :eyes:
I'd much rather have someone admit outright that they know better than I do -- and then respond well to a challenge to back up their claim -- than deal with that feigned humility from someone who insists I'm not willing or ready to "understand at their level yet", conveniently freeing themselves from any obligation to better explain themselves.
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