An example of how the misuse of language can generate pseudo-problems

Boojatta

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Sun Dec-14-08 04:21 PM
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An example of how the misuse of language can generate pseudo-problems

Fact Situation:
A woman goes to the grocery store while her husband stays home and looks after their two children, aged seven and nine. When she returns, she sees dozens of bullet holes in the windows. Inside, the dead bodies of her husband and two children are on the floor, oozing blood, and already starting to grow cold.

Pseudo-Problem #1: Why does such monstrous, criminal evil exist?

Solution: Evil doesn't exist. The only things that exist are matter, energy, space, and time.

Pseudo-Problem #2: What can explain the entry of destructive outside forces into the tranquility of a happy domestic world?

Solution: Any event can be explained when we recognize that the universe began with the big bang and changes in accordance with inexorable natural law. Gravity causes gigantic clouds of gas to condense and become stars. Had stellar evolution not occurred, then her husband and children wouldn't have been warm to begin with. If demonic evil resided outside of the world and occasionally intruded into it, then the delicate balance of the world would be upset. It would be possible for breakfast cereal to immediately become soggy when milk is added. The hard-won accomplishments of the companies that make breakfast cereal could be lost. However, that doesn't happen. The cereal remains crispy for at least a few minutes while people watch TV and receive news about murders such as the one described above.

Pseudo-Problem #3: How should she cope with such a surprising and horrible event?

Solution: Obviously she was surprised to see the bullet holes and the dead bodies of her husband and children. However, the conflict between her expectations and the actual course of events cannot be blamed on the universe. The universe, as already explained, operates according to inexorable natural law. The best way for her to cope is for her to recognize that the conflict between her expectations and the actual course of events has its origin in her erroneous expectations. She can expect more rude shocks in the future unless she improves her understanding of matter, energy, space, and time. She needs education.

Pseudo-Problem #4: When police officers arrive at the scene, what should they do to console her?

Solution: They shouldn't do anything to console her. If she were watching a sad movie and, coincidentally, the police arrived at her home to ask her questions about one of her neighbors, then she wouldn't expect them to console her. The police have a job to do and they shouldn't have to dabble in psycho-babble.

Pseudo-Problem #5: Should arrangements be made for clergy to be present at a funeral for her husband and children?

Solution: No, for all practical purposes the brains of clergy-persons have been pickled in a supersaturated solution of barbaric superstition. They are part of the problem. They're not part of the solution.

Pseudo-Problem #6: Why do bad things happen to good people?

Solution: "Bad", like "evil", is a meaningless word that generates pseudo-problems such as this.

Pseudo-Problem #7: What can be done to help her cope with her loss?

Solution: She hasn't lost anything. Her husband and children were lumps of flesh and they remain lumps of flesh. The only genuine problem is that the flesh will begin to rot. Using embalming techniques, it is possible to preserve the bodies just as V. I. Lenin's body was preserved. Then her husband and children could serve a useful purpose around the house. For example, they could be used as paper weights or door stops.