Assuming for a moment that the Fundie's are right, and the Rapture does happen, what would you do?

[SidneyCarton]

(This is inspired by a post in one of the recent R/T Threads)

I'm not saying that they are, as I certainly do not believe in the Rapture, but as a thought experiment, assume it does happen and all the evangelicals are taken up into heaven, leaving us poor heathens with Satan, 7 years of crazyness, the certainty of burning in hell, and a helluva lot of empty clothes, What would you do?

As a Mormon (We certainly won't be raptured, if Pat Robertson or Tim LaHaye have any say in the matter) I have joked with my friends of heading to a bar and getting plastered. Should this event ever occur, I invite all DU Atheists in the Los Angeles Area to join me, and we can toast our imminent damnation together!

Anyhoo, what do you think?

[slackmaster]

1. Order a pizza

Delivered.

[SoCalNative]

2. Have a big party

as soon as they're all "raptured" away.

[jody]

3. Like W.C. Fields supposedly said, read the Bible and look for a loophole. n/t

[Warpy]

4. There are two possibilites, both of them good

Either the people who pride themselves on being godly will be Ruptured and we'll not only get to laugh at them as they go naked into the sky, we'll finally be rid of them, or they're the ones who will be stuck here to face the worst as the people who quietly go about their lives respecting their fellow humans on the planet are the ones to go to Paradise, in which case we'll still be rid of them.

It's one of those win-win situations as far as I can tell.

[spin]

31. Well Sir Isaac Newton said the rapture would occur no earlier than 2060...

Sir Isaac Newton undogmatically proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the rapture could happen no earlier than 2060.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture#cite_note-26

So I probably will not have to worry about the rapture unless I live to be 133.

[rurallib]

5. Grab me a Lexus and go looking for the women left behind

figuring they are the sinful type.
:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[Jamastiene]

6. Smile and take a deep breath of fresh air, that is not polluted by their hateful rhetoric,

confident and happy that I made the right decision and took all the right steps so that I do not have to spend eternity with them.

And no, I am NOT joking.

[Donnachaidh]

7. Go move into the really nice house of the Fundies nearby

And find the keys to their Lexus. And squat in style.

[Stellabella]

15. Yes, exactly - take their stuff!

LOL

[TygrBright]

8. Bag my fundie neighbor's car and rototill up their yard for planting a bigger veggie garden.

[NMDemDist2]

9. I'm not a Christian but

I'd be taken if the Universe asks for volunteers to work on the other side

so you can have my car

:hi:

[Believing Is Art]

10. Pass universal heallth care,

switch to alternative energy and fuel efficient cars, implement a progressive tax system, etc.

Pretty much all the things they kept us from doing.

On edit: if all the fundies do disappear one day, I won't consider it the rapture. I'll just think of it as God's way of editing.

[endarkenment]

11. Start bulldozing the trailer parks and cleaning up the rest of the mess

they've left behind.

[redirish28]

12. IF the rapture does happen I think my wife and I will be seated comfortably in

what hereafter happens to be and watch in delight as those "Rapture believers" are stuck on earth wondering why they where "left Behind"...

[flowomo]

13. Ever seen the 1991 movie, "The Rapture"?

I'd probably do what the character played by Mimi Rogers did: Refuse the invitation and just sit outside paradise in protest of the terms and conditions of entry.

[onager]

32. That's a great movie.

:hi:

And I'm giving you a heart just for mentioning it.

I often recommend "Rapture" as one of the best atheistic movies ever made. (Though its writer/director, Michael Tolkin, is a Reform Jew. Lots of info about him on the web. He's a major Hollywood player and, in fact, also wrote the script for Robert Altman's movie The Player.)

Tolkin notes that he ran out of money near the end of The Rapture. It shows, since he can only afford ONE Horseman of the Apocalypse instead of four.

:rofl:

[notadmblnd]

14. move into one of their houses, dirve one of their cars, take their job.. etc

[nebenaube]

16. arm myself...

the Christians that don't disappear in the rapture have been brainwashed to cleanse to world of evil in order to regain their salvation. Also, it seems to me, based on the descriptions, that anyone caught in a nuclear blast is 'raptured'.

[SidneyCarton]

22. Yeah, I can see where you're going here...

What is the name of that "Left Behind" video game? Anyway, things could get ugly fast, particularly among those who would not be sanguine about the idea of being denied salvation.

[cosmik debris]

17. I would question the interpretation of the observed events.

I might hypothesize that aliens are cleansing our gene pool.

That's about as rational an explanation as the "going to heaven" explanation.

:P

[SidneyCarton]

18. cosmik, I like the way your devious mind thinks...

There ought to have been a Twilight Zone where in a bunch of people are taken, people proclaim the "Rapture" chaos ensues, but it was all Aliens on a fast-food run.

That would be creepy.

[cosmik debris]

19. Viewing it from "ground zero" all we could see

Is that a bunch of people disappeared.

Without a testable explanation, I'd be free to make up my own crackpot theory.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster must have some motive for the disappearances, and the meatballs explanation works for me.

[SidneyCarton]

21. The FSM hypothesis only works if...

after the ascension of the "meat balls" it rains beer and hookers descend from on high, gliding on their parasols.

(Ok, maybe not...)

[cosmik debris]

25. You can always say that the rain of beer and hookers

is imminent. Then spend 2000 years waiting.

There is precedent for that.

[SidneyCarton]

27. That would be pretty stale beer.

n/t

[cosmik debris]

29. You're worried about the beer?

Imagine what a 2000 year old hooker would look like!

[SidneyCarton]

30. Misericordia!

:scared:

[beam me up scottie]

37. "Aliens on a fast-food run"

I guess that explains the obesity epidemic, they've been fattening up the herd.

[eilen]

20. I'd bag the old Christian religion, start a new interesting one that has

all the demons erased from the earth as part of it's mythos (actually revive a very old one). We'll worship like the Vikings-- Hail (name of god) and pass the bottle (horn) in tribute, then go dancing.

[Sandrine for you]

23. I will become a new Hitler, and make an insurrection against God and Satan.

[dixiegrrrrl]

24. I would celebrate the existence of retro-active birth control.

[ezgoingrl]

26. I'm going over to my ex mother-in-law's house.

Where I plan on watching the REALLY BIG screen tv and munchin on microwave popcorn. Might play with the dog, too...that is if he doesn't get raptured as well.

[Strong Atheist]

28. Wake up, and promise myself not to mix whatever it was

that I had before sleeping that inspired such insane dreams EVER AGAIN...

[Meshuga]

33. I would like the world of damnation

Where we would be able to finally pass legislation that truly helps the poor, teach science in schools, teach sex education in order to avoid unwanted pregancies and reduce the rate of std's. I mean, what a world that would be!

[ZombieHorde]

34. I would go to heaven with my fellow saved souls. nt

[leftyladyfrommo]

35. Steal all of their stuff. n/t

[PassingFair]

36. Party at my place:

There's room for everyone!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

38. Snag a really nice car.

:D :D :D :rofl:

Beep beep!!! :D