Just so you know everyone...Jesus was not a Jew, he was a Christian

[cherish44]

According to my bible thumping aquaintance. He couldn't be a Jew because Jews don't believe in Jesus and how could he not believe in himself? Wow. Makes sense to me. And people think fundies are ignorant.

[lame54]

1. Jesus was just a figment of his own imagination

[CJCRANE]

2. "Christ" is from a Greek word...Jesus didn't even know Greek!

On edit: and he wasn't even called Jesus as that isn't a Hebrew or Aramaic name.

Tell your acquaintance that the Aramaic word for God is "Allaha", that'll freak him out.

[Catshrink]

11. Joshua ben Joseph

I think that's his Hebrew name -- Joshua son of Joseph.

[MineralMan]

20. And I have no doubt there were hundreds of Joshua ben Josephs

walking around in those days. I love telling fundamentalcases that there was nobody named "Jesus" there at that time. "Huh?"

[magellan]

25. Something else to freak him out with

Christian Arabs call God "Allah" just like Muslims. It's about the language, not the religion.

[JerseygirlCT]

40. Christ is a title though - not a given name

It wouldn't have been what Jesus called himself - it was bestowed on him later on.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. And to think, he (your friend) still has a legal right to reproduce, vote, and be in public

The cost of Democracy is that even the terminally stupid get a seat at the table.

[rateyes]

4. Your acquaintance may "thump the bible," but it's obvious

your acquaintance doesn't read the bible.

Of course, most fundies only believe what their clergy tell them to believe. Still, I don't know any fundies (and, I know a bunch) who would make the claim your idiot friend has made.

[tj2001]

5. Jesus also spoke English

No Habla Espanol

[annabanana]

8. (and he spoke it just like King James.) . . .. .. . . .n/t

[cherish44]

10. He also had sandy brown hair and blue eyes!

And very toned abs. Ever seen a crucifix?

[Gwendolyn]

19. Hitler's artistic rendering made him blonde too.

According to the old books Jesus was apparently quite "mise." So the good-looking dude we always see depicted on the cross is probably not who he really was. (Not that he ever existed really, but for argument's sake let's pretend.)

As for toned abs, no doubt they all had the six-pack back then. People had to scrape by to exist, so there were doubtless few hanging for hours at the village fast food tent, downing endless lamb-on-a-stick with special sauce. :)

[merh]

28. This is what he is supposed to have looked like, a man as described

in the bible from that era.



http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/research/1282186.html

this one is the artist rendering of the image from the Shroud



http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_jcfa.htm

[MineralMan]

21. He worked out at Goldie's Gym!

[ColbertWatcher]

22. You mean ... like this ...

http://www.wikiality.com/Second_Coming_of_Christ

http://www.wikiality.com/Lord%27s_Gym

[safeinOhio]

34. His twin brother Thomas

was a Jew.

[smirkymonkey]

43. Yes, he's hot!

I have a Jesus of Nazareth Calendar. He looks a little like Fabio.

[and-justice-for-all]

45. and born in America...nt

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

6. Thats why the Romans

mocked Him as King of the Jews.........

[Kaleva]

7. Why did He observe Pass Over then?

You could mention that to your friend.

[mitchum]

9. Jesus was schizophrenic

[Name removed]

13. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[L. Coyote]

12. No, he was a Roman.

They called it the Roman Empire for a reason.
An he was a subject of Roman law, hung on a cross by Romans to die.
He was also the first known Roman to escape a death sentence with tetradoxin.

[struggle4progress]

36. Romans were not crucified

[TexasProgresive]

37. He was not a Roman citizen

since they could not be crucified. As a Galalian he was the subject of Herod - a king who was the subject of the Emperor.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

14. For What It's Worth Fundamentalists Believe Jesus Was A Jew

As were all the disciples except Luke.

[ColbertWatcher]

24. What religion was Luke? n/t

[Radical Activist]

15. And Jesus didn't believe in the New Testament.

[karynnj]

30. I don't think it had yet been written before his death

[spanone]

16. i knew i shouldn't have dropped acid....

[Ezlivin]

17. He was a Jewish zombie who told his followers to eat flesh and drink blood

And he'll kick your ass if you don't watch it!

[MineralMan]

23. God's Gonna Get You For That!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KUhK8559pk

God Will Fuck You Up, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75UeVLbkXeg

[Ezlivin]

27. Oh, don't worry, he's warmed me over pretty damned good

Permanent paralysis and a master's degree from seminary. Both fucking useless....

[Cleita]

18. Yeah, I had a member of the Aryan Nation Church freak out once when I

informed him that Jesus was a Jew. This was after he kept making derogatory remarks about Jews while we had to work together. Then I told him that Jesus celebrated Passover the night before he died, that act that Christians called "The Last Supper", so he was never a Christian, a word derived from the Greek word christos. Then he called me all kinds of names including something to the effect that my husband needed to control me and my tongue better.

[BlueJazz]

26. I didn't know Women were allowed to post on DU.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

32. Lol!

:spank:

[karynnj]

29. I thought Christians were defined as FOLLOWERS of Jesus

Snark aside:

I suspect in reality that he was both Christian and Jewish - as were many followers in the time he was alive. At that point it was not yet separate.

[JerseygirlCT]

41. That's true as well

His followers at the time were Jews, as was he.

Funny how that hasn't occurred to some people!

[Towlie]

31. There's a scene in Little Big Man where Faye Dunaway tells Dustin Hoffman the same thing.

[DeSwiss]

33. But I'd always thought....

...he was http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shingo,_Aomori">Japanese.

[ashling]

35. If'n the King James Bible was good enuf fer Jesus,

its good enuf fer me!

[Jeffersonian Dem]

38. Funny, and a good one. But seriously....

Mary and Joseph, the mother and father of Jesus, were Jewish Essenes, and they were very much influenced by Rabbi Hillel. But the Essenes were also influenced by the Zoroastrians (the Magi), as well as by other spiritually inclined people in their known world.

That is confirmed in the ignored Gospel of Mary Magdalene, in which Jesus is quoted as saying that "All natures, all formed things, all creatures exist in and with one another and will again be resolved into their own roots, because the nature of matter is dissolved into the roots of its nature alone."

This is very similar to the Taoist concept of Oneness which states that "All things derive their life from it (Tao), All things return to it, and it contains them."

So, in fact, Jesus was an inclusive, universal teacher, and one of the greatest servant-messengers of God. But he was not "God Himself" as the misguided "Christian" idol worhipers claim.

Listen to songs of liberation sung by one who knows, at:
http://www.soundclick.com/davidjnunson

[JerseygirlCT]

39. Their preacher told them so, so it must be true!

I'm always newly amazed at some of the most vociferous people who claim to have an edge on Christian belief, and actually haven't given it much thought at all.

[RetiredTrotskyite]

42. WTF??!!

This is just about the most idiotic thing I have ever heard when it comes to bible-bangers

[and-justice-for-all]

44. Well, lets just say Jesus was a Jew before he was 'Jesus'..

if he existed at all, which is unlikely.