The father of the woman I love give us a condition: I must convert myself to Islam.

[Sandrine for you]

What are-you thinking about that ?

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Will you do it?

[Brickbat]

2. What are you thinking about that?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. What I (or anyone else) think doesn't matter.

That is entirely up to you. Is it something you can accept? What will happen if you don't?

[Sandrine for you]

9. That is the question: what should I do, I think I will convert myself....

Because anyway, I don't really care about being a christian or a muslim...since I don't have any power to believe about anything about religion...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

22. But if you don't really believe it your "conversion" will be false.

You'd be going through the motions just to keep your girlfriend's controlling father happy.

[Sandrine for you]

24. that's right...the fact is that we can't be together without the father approuval...

Is-it so much a necessity to be honest about that ?

[get the red out]

54. So?

I don't think God will strike anyone down. I tell my Mom I like the sweater set she got me for my birthday too.

[Sandrine for you]

56. Yeah right ! nt

[no_hypocrisy]

4. My brother converted from Judaism to Suffiism.

But he did it on his own iniative, not because it was a condition of marriage.

Why not at least look into the type of Islam to see if it's compatible with your current philosophy and ethics.

[rateyes]

5. Or what?

What will he do?

[notadmblnd]

6. persnally, I wouldn't commit to any religion for the sake of the one that I lust

the lust fades after time for both sides. So you better make sure she/he is your best friend and that you love them a lot. Also, be prepared to have your extended family control what you do and who you associate with for a very long time.

[JonQ]

7. If it were me

I'd say go to hell. Conversion because you want to marry/date/nail a woman is not a legit conversion. It should be done for deeply felt beliefs, not because someone gives you an ultimatum. If he doesn't respect your religious views then he doesn't respect you, and doubtful ever will.

[timeforpeace]

8. If you have to ask...

[MrModerate]

10. Recipe for disaster. n/t

[BlooInBloo]

11. I'd be more concerned with what the woman you love thinks...

and whether or not she's willing to buck what daddy says.

[Sandrine for you]

15. She is really involve with what father think, she really live in the face of

her God, really honest.

So I will have to give her some power to fell that his "honesty" is ok. And take to my self the fact that I don'T believe about nothing.

[Bad Thoughts]

63. And your children?

If this is about appeasing your would-be father-in-law, it seems a little trite.
If your wife is serious about Islam herself, it would be nice to convert.
If your wife will dictate the religious practice of the household, and you intend to raise children in Islam, than conversion would be a good idea (even if you don't "believe").

[dhpgetsit]

12. I know one guy who went Mormon because he was in love with a Mormon girl.

Since then he's been a Wiccan and now he's a Baptist. And he's in a sad and failing marriage.

Don't change your beliefs.

[GreenStormCloud]

13. What country are you in?

Is he able to enforce his requirement with the laws of that country?

If he isn't, how important is his blessing to you?

How likely is he to honor-kill his daughter if she marries you without your conversion?

Read "Cruel and Usual Punishment" by Noonie Darwish. She was an Islamic woman, raised in Egypt, and came to America and left Islam. She tells what life is like under the most oppressive and intolerant religion on earth.

[Sandrine for you]

17. I'm in Québec so....It's a matriarcal society...nt

[GreenStormCloud]

35. It will likely be a decision that you will regret if you do it.

Get and read the book I recommended.

You will never be considered an equal. In Islamic cultures, a converted Muslims is never considered as pure a Muslim as a born Muslim. If you convert, you will be giving him unreasonable power over your marriage. The demands will be constant.

Say, "NO!!" to Sharia Law. They came to your country with its freedoms and now they want to impose their old country restrictions on their new country. Surely you are aware of the efforts a few years ago by Muslims to get Canada to recognize Sharia Law.

[Sandrine for you]

40. Québec is not Canada, it's a matriarchal state...Sharia can never happen here.

Don't worry.

[GreenStormCloud]

44. Your future father-in-law doesn't see it that way.

By making that demand of you, he is demanding that you act in accordance with Sharia Law.

Muslim women, by Sharia Law, are forbidden to marry outside the religion, but Muslim men can marry outside the religion. If she obeys Dad, then she is accepting Sharia Law as the rule for her life, and demanding the same of you.

Quebec may be matriarchal, but Muslims aren't.

If she can't stand on her own will, make her own choices, then you need to be free of that relationship - NOW.

[Sandrine for you]

45. Humm, You make me think a lot...the wife of my father say the same...and she is not

happy with that condition. As a feminist, she tell me that.

Thanks for your contribution, It give me some stuff to think about.

[GreenStormCloud]

46. Good luck to you. Lots of people here have given you good material to think about.

Please read the book I suggested.

At this point, I have nothing more to contribute, and will bow out, and go to bed.

[Sandrine for you]

47. Thank's good night !nt

[Sarah Ibarruri]

14. Converting to religions is a horrible idea.

I think people are probably better off without religions.

What do you think of that?

[Sandrine for you]

18. I feel the same way of you: better without religions...nt

[LuvNewcastle]

16. How devout will you have to be?

Since you aren't a devout Christian, you probably won't have the urge to be a devout Muslim either. Would that be a problem?

[Sandrine for you]

21. They are not devout muslim either, so I think it will be ok for me, but for the honesty of my woman,

with her father...that's the problem.

[LuvNewcastle]

33. This sounds like a cultural thing rather than

a religious hang-up. If you really love this woman and no one is going to force you to pray five times a day or do anything else that devout Muslims do, then I say go for it. If it doesn't work out, it's not like you can't switch back to being a Christian. God is all forgiving.:)

[Sandrine for you]

37. Thank's !! Really, that's what i'm feeling....nt

yes !

[rd_kent]

62. But if you convert without any conviction, is THAT honest?

[Arctic Dave]

19. Both of you can become atheist. No problem.

[Sandrine for you]

34. That's my dream, but she fell my atheism as something strange..

and want our children to be muslim...


but I don'T care about that, I think the culture of Québec will make the children to become atheist anyway...

[Arctic Dave]

41. Shedding god concepts is actually empowering. Good luck to you either way.

[Sandrine for you]

43. Yes, maybe, in this, I will find Him, who know ? nt

[demosincebirth]

20. In my Chrystal Ball, I see much trouble ahead.

[Sandrine for you]

23. I'm asking myself about that perpective....nt

[rurallib]

25. we have a saying down here:

don't let the little head do the thinking.
I see lots of troubles should you do it.

[ck4829]

26. Good luck to you. I was never Muslim "enough" for my gf's family

Even though I was on equal terms with them in terms of knowledge about Islam and I had taken the shahadah years before, it was still never good enough for them. They refused to bless any wedding and didn't want us together anymore.

They weren't all bad, her mother blessed our marriage.

[Sandrine for you]

30. The mother is happy,but the father want me to be a muslim,

so he can bless our wedding....they come from Tunisia...a liberal muslim country, but the father is a little bit conservative.

I think we will have a lot to share together.

[GreenStormCloud]

38. True. A converted Muslim is always considered less Muslim than a born Muslim. N/T

[Sandrine for you]

42. I will remember this, that's explain why some become more muslim than muslim....nt

[notesdev]

27. Nobody here

is going to know the nuances of the relationship well enough to tell you what to do. You have to make this choice all on your lonesome.

[Warpy]

28. Forced conversion seldom works

Whether or not you want to spend your life giving lip service to something you don't believe in is up to you.

[Meshuga]

29. It depends,

What is he going to do if you don't? Disown his daughter? It can be a complicated situation. I have a Jewish fried who married a Pakistani woman and her parents hated him because he was Jewish and would not convert. Well, her parents pretty much mellowed out when the grandchild arrived.

[Sandrine for you]

31. THANKS DU COMMUNITY FOR YOUR ANSWER, IT HELP ME TO

se the diverse perspective about my situation.

and thank-you for your care.
I will give you some news about that.

[Odin2005]

32. You two are adults, the dad can STFU.

[Downtown Hound]

36. This is a decision only you can make for yourself

But if you want to know what I would do, I would tell dear old dad that my religion is my own damn business. If my bride to be had a problem with this, then I highly doubt we would be getting married in the first place.

[imdjh]

39. Is he going to give you money? After all, tradition is tradition. nt

[get the red out]

48. All religions are anti-love and romance

I really think all the major religions despise romantic love between people because love for another human removes a bit of their power over the lovers. So it must be made either conditional, miserably and a failure, or non-existent to start with. I have yet to see how love and religion can be in the same room.

Do whatever you need to do to love honestly between yourselves. Who cares if you lie to some religion or her father? They don't deserve your honesty, be honest with yourselves and find love, however you can.

[Sandrine for you]

51. that's what I think: They try to control, so I just have to fake, so I save the honesty of my woman,

in the face of her God and her father. By this I am honest to myself as I love her, and don't care about theology.

[get the red out]

52. I hope for the best for both of you

:loveya:

[Sandrine for you]

55. Thank's !!

I'm really in love !

[geckosfeet]

49. I am thinking,,

who gives a rats ass.

Why did I even bother to respond,,,

[msongs]

50. why marry a woman who is not acting like an adult but is willing to be a child to her father? nt

[Sandrine for you]

53. Parce qu'elle est si douce, si attentionnée, si belle et brillante !

Parce que je l'aime ! D'un amour qui dépasse tout ce que j'ai vécu jusqu'ici !

[Bobbieo]

57. Wow - multicultural - English - French - Muslim with a little Mohawk Indian tossed in.

You'll make it just fine!!!!

[BurtWorm]

65. Is she devout? Will she want you to be devout?

If it doesn't really matter to you, if it's simply a gesture in the minds of both you and your douce, I suppose it's fine. You like her father? You want to give him this cadeau?

[ZombieHorde]

58. What does the woman you love think about this? nt

[DeSwiss]

59. Hamlet - Act I, Scene 3. Polonius is speaking to Laertes....

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."

[rug]

60. Fuck him. You're not marrying him.

If his daughter says the same thing, ask her if she wants to marry a hypocrite.

[rd_kent]

61. Depends on how much you love her. Are you willing to sacrifice your OWN beleifs or ideology

and PRETEND to follow another religion, in the name of love? Thats a personal choice.



If I was in your shoes, I would talk this out with her. Perhaps if SHE loves YOU as much as YOU love HER, you would BOTH follow your OWN path.....not hers, not yours, and certainly not her fathers, but the path the TWO of you make.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

64. You are both adults: Her parents have no right to impose ANY conditions on you or her

One of my cousins was engaged to a man who had a domineering mother. The mother didn't want her son to marry anyone, least of all my cousin, so she declared that she would never speak to her son again if he went through with the marriage.

The man was conflicted about this, so he and my cousin went to speak to the clergyman who was scheduled to officiate at the wedding.

The clergyman asked just one question, "Are you a man or a mama's boy? You decide."

He decided to go through with the marriage. This was 25 years ago, and they're still married.

[Book Lover]

66. This is marriage advice, not religion advice

You are never going to get out from under this man's thumb if you bow down to this. Do not marry into this family.

[skepticscott]

67. I'd also inform yourself about

apostasy in Islam. If things don't work out, de-converting from your new religion may not be as easy as you'd like.

[ChadwickHenryWard]

68. How serious do you have to be about it?

If it's like a five-second ceremony, just go for it. If you have to completely turn your life upside down, you might want to reconsider. Or you could, you know, just get married anyway. It's not like he has any say in the matter.

[Deep13]

69. How?

If you don't believe that the Koran is the inerrant word of Allah and that Mohammed was the definitive prophet of said diety; how can you simply make yourself believe it? Are you really willing to tolerate that level of self-deception?

I think your prospective FIL needs to mind his own fucking business. You're in a free county. You don't need his approval.

[Dorian Gray]

70. If you believe and want to do it,

then do it. If you don't, then I don't think it's worth conversion. If the woman you love won't be with you without familial approval, then I don't know where that leaves you. I couldn't convert to a religion unless I truly believed.