I am an atheist but I went to church yesterday

[NNN0LHI]

It was a special service my wife and I were invited to. It was in honor of my late father in-law who passed away a few months ago who was a member. It was a very small Pentecostal church with a huge container full of water in the front for what I imagine is for doing baptisms.

I will be honest here. When the parishioners began saying aloud behind me, "Praise the Lord", and other stuff about Jesus that I don't remember. I was actually a little scared someone was about to open up a box of rattlesnakes and start passing out the strychnine to sip on. But my fears were for nothing as none of that happened.

Religion is not my cup of tea but I will tell you something. After the service we all went down to the basement and had something to eat.

Here is what I discovered. The people who attend this church are about the nicest people I have ever been around. The Pastor who I had known for years and didn't know he was a Pastor is one of the nicest people I have ever known in my life. I would have said that even before I knew he was a Pastor. His daughter played the piano and sang like a bird. I would pay money to listen to her voice. She was that good. And just an all around lovely woman.

The congregation wants us to come back and to be honest I would like to, but I don't feel it would be right. Being a non-believer and all.

Do any atheists here go to church on a regular basis just to be around a group of really nice people? Would it be right to do so? I kind of feel it would not be right.

What do you guys think about this?

Don

[xchrom]

1. you've made me feel nostalgic -- and the episcopal church is chock-a-block full of agnostics

and i would imagine more than a few atheists.

but there is something in the gathering of community -- and breaking bread with each other.

and i remember church basement dinners or suppers depending on where you are.
and the ladies of the church running things.

[HopeHoops]

2. I've been to Baptist services where I got evil stares for not going through all the motions.

"Raise your hand if you've been saved by Jesus Christ, our Lord."

If you don't raise your hand, you're obviously damned to hell and don't belong there. I'm in no way insinuating that they are all like that, but I can assure you they exist. If you find a congregation that accepts you for who you are and doesn't "require" drinking their flavor of Kool-Aid, then that's wonderful. I view most of the peer pressure as a means of self-justification by those who have bought into the ritual. If this isn't a major factor at this church, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with attending. I've been to Catholic services as well - I just don't take the grape juice and cracker.

[October]

3. Same with Quakers

They have socials and gatherings, too -- without all the dogma. You might give that a try.

[Pholus]

4. Fellowship with human beings is important as long as you're comfortable!

I'm Christian, but such an infrequent attendee after several moves that I qualify as a heathen. Add to that an intense dislike for religious hypocrisy and some days I don't know where I stand.

The only bit of advice I'd give is that it doesn't help the world to segregate ourselves based on our beliefs. How can you fully explore your own personal philosophy without a thorough examination of the ones around you?

As long as you enjoy the company and (IMPORTANTLY) you're not being pressured, does it matter if you have no intention of subscribing to the groupthink?

[blue sky at night]

5. spirituality is a relative thing...

if you want to enjoy the association of some very nice people, most churches can provide that. For me, a believer, it is the service to others that gets me out of bed on Sunday mornings. Our church does many simple things to help people from raking our members leaves to feeding the homeless...if you can't see the good in that outside of beliving in a higher power, then you may as well stay home and sleep in. I would say to you go...it is a great way to spend your time around a bunch of freindly people who you will find say "yes" if and when you asked them to help you....our church doesn't require any belief or membership to attend, we have people who have been doing that for years. BTW, we belong to the United Church of Christ, the most liberal mainstream denomination in America, we even ordain openly gay people!!

[Mika]

6. Nice post, Don.

I'm an atheist too, and I had a similar experience as a participant in a wedding celebration at a UCC church. Simply the nicest and most welcoming people.

I picked up some of their literature, and found that they are a truly progressive church.

http://www.ucc.org/

http://www.ucccoalition.org/


Thanks for posting your story. :hi:

[SweepPicker]

21. Thanks Mika

As an Agnostic, I find the UCC interesting as well. I appreciate the link!

[Mumble]

7. Many who go regularly...

...do so for many reasons that have nothing to do with a religious experience. They were indoctrinated young and have always attended church, good fellowship, club atmosphere, feeling of belonging, spouse insists on belonging, etc, etc. To me it's a waste of time although I go religiously to their fish frys, October fest, and occasional other gatherings by our local Catholic church.

[zeemike]

8. The source of religion is the need for community.

And if one looks to native religions it is all about ceremony.
But much of that is gone from religion stolen by those that see it as a path to gaining power.
If you look at the beginnings of Christianity you see that Jesus himself spoke out against the public speaking and praying and established only one thing and he said, "do this in remembrance of me"
And what was it he wanted us to do? share bread and wine togather....the primal need for community.
All the rest of things religions do beyond that is created by men and as we all know men can do some stupid things.

[Dogmudgeon]

9. I am, too; I have been praying for a friend's mother-in-law

He asked me to pray for her.

I don't believe it will "work", but he's been a good friend, so if he wants intercessory prayer from me, I'll pray.

Besides, I don't know all the answers. It's not that I'm futilely hoping that his mother-in-law recovers; this is a gesture in the sense that Alan Watts evoked in his essay "The Idea that Life is a Gesture".

--d!

[watrwefitinfor]

10. My grandfather took me to a pentecostal service once,

when I was just a little girl, maybe about six years old. He did not like the new Baptist preacher, so decided to check out the "holy rollers". Unfortunately he took me with him that night. (I probably asked to go with him - I adored him.)

They scared the bejesus out of me! Literally. No snakes, but when the preacher got to his hellfire and damnation stuff, the folks began hollering, screaming, jumping over the pews and rolling in the floor. I was crying and clinging to Granddaddy. And you couldn't get me back in one again for any amount of socializing or honoring the dead.

In fact, the experience had a lot to do with my future "conversion" to atheism. :-)

Wat

[onager]

38. Ha! Same thing happened to me!

Except it was my aunt who took me to her church. I used to visit my cousins, who lived in a cotton-mill town about 20 miles from me. Whereas I lived at 40th & Plum - 40 miles from nowhere and plum' back out in the woods. i.e., Upstate South Carolina.

My aunt belonged to the Fire Baptized Pentecostal Holiness Church.

At first I thought it was great - I had never seen electric guitars in church before. But it wasn't long until they started up with the "hollering, screaming, jumping over the pews and rolling in the floor."

I was raised Southern Baptist, which has a lot of cliches attached to it. But good grief! Compared to the Pentecostals, the Baptists behaved like high-church Episcopalians.

We also had snake-handling churches in my area, and everybody knew where they were. I avoided them.

On edit: I've also been a happy atheist for many years.

[handmade34]

11. I was slated to become a minister about 10 years ago

(life happened and I had to drop out of seminary) I am an atheist but have deep respect for the part that healthy churches play in communities (and you would be surprised at the number of ministers that are atheist). As human people, we need community and ritual. If you sincerely like the people and the pastor and they are not dogmatic, yes, go to church.

[Warpy]

39. I agree with that

Some people have a real need for the type of community that churches can supply best. If there's no UU or Quaker congregation nearby, then nothing should stop people from looking for a healthy mainstream church with a sane minister.

People in my family weren't particularly religious but felt that need when they got old, even though they'd inflict Catholic school on the kids. When they got old, they just went to whatever was closest. It was a way to ensure somebody would miss them and look for them if they suddenly stopped showing up.

[unblock]

12. my parents do, if by "church" you would include "temple"

judaism doesn't much care whether you believe in god or not. the prayers mention and exalt god, of course, but they're in hebrew so it's easy to gloss over that if they're just nonsense syllables ;)

if you do go in for the mythological aspect of it, entry into heaven is based on doing good in this world, not on faith.

[Celebration]

13. I recommended this

Just because it is interesting. Do I think that there are plenty of atheists that go to church regularly? Well, probably not, at least not the dogmatic ones. But personally I am not sure how anyone can be sure of anything. I figure that all of us are varying degrees of agnostic. Deep down, anyone who doesn't have a tiny bit of question about matters like this is a bit strange. If you can cast yourself as an agnostic you will be fine in churches of all stripes. But there will be more people that may admit this in the Episcopal church (or some others) than Pentecostal. Most churches will welcome people with differing beliefs. Some may want to save you though. But, some won't,

Good luck.

[enlightenment]

14. Don't disagree about what others have said about

community, but I will add a small warning.

A number of years ago I dated a guy who had once been a member of a small Pentecostal church. He was still good friends with many of the members and one day we went to visit a couple who lived nearly off the grid, home-schooling, etc . . .

They were perfectly pleasant people, although they were both concerned about the state of our souls since we were 'sinners' (not chaste). The wife and I went for a walk in the afternoon, stopping to chat - I knew she wanted details of what my intentions were toward her friend (!) and I was admittedly curious to discover what led someone to renounce the 20th century.

Right away she gave me an important tip. She said, "If you want to know more about my beliefs, I will tell you. I know you're an unbeliever, so I'll also tell you this: if you ask a Pentecostal to 'tell you more' you are inviting them into your life - opening a door you cannot later close - and they will see it as permission to try and change your mind and accept Jesus into your heart".

I thanked her for that tip and declined to ask her about her beliefs.


I don't know if that is SOP amongst Pentecostals, but you might want to keep it in mind unless you enjoy being pursued.

[ProfessionalLeftist]

15. My mother said (yea, I know...)

that church is all about fellowship. Maybe that's not worth two cents to you but thought I'd share it. I believe that's why she liked to go.

[GliderGuider]

16. Unitarians get my vote.

My parents are as atheistic as you could possibly imagine - my father thinks Dawkins is too soft and squishy. They were founding members of the Unitarian fellowship in their city 50 years ago, and still attend regularly. They relish a chance to think about and discuss big topics in a community of friendly, open-minded intelligent people.

[elocs]

17. I've been to small Pentecostal churches as well and they are basically nice people.

The first time I ever went to a small Pentecostal church was probably back in 1976. The service had already started when I entered to see and hear the people there all standing and joyfully singing and clapping. I remember smiling and thinking that these people are really happy. It was so different from the solemn church services I was used to attending.

There was no condemnation or looks from anyone because I was not singing or hand clapping the way they were, just acceptance and welcoming. Yes, these were good people who would help you in any way you needed help.

The reason that you would like to come back is that your experience filled some need you had even if it was not religious. Even if you were to go again as an atheist and even if they know this you can be a witness to them, not by trying to persuade them to your point of view, but just by being friendly and respectful, an example of how most atheists are.

Your experience was an eye-opener and surprise for you, but you could be a surprise and eye-opener for them as well--a real live atheist who is a good and nice guy. You will have to understand where you are and that the mission of a Pentecostal church is to bring people to believe and accept Jesus, but I think that could be done.

In the end it is a tribute to how open-minded you are to even consider this given that you are an atheist and you are to be congratulated for that.

[eomer]

18. We started going to a Unitarian Universalist Congregation and we love it.

The UU principles are open and welcoming. After many years of feeling like an outcast while going to a Catholic Church, now at UU I am officially welcome and my atheist belief (or lack of belief, if you prefer) is too.

[BurtWorm]

19. You know they're going to start to work on you.

If you can put up with that and still find them nice, then I think it's all right. I'm not sure I see the point of attending the services where, nice as they may be, they're talking nonsense. But maybe they'd let you come to the breakfast part afterwards.

[ehrnst]

20. Yes - there are many in Unitarian Universalist congregations.

There's a joke in my church, What's another name for UUs? Atheists with kids....

[cleanhippie]

23. Hahahaha! That perfectly describes us!

I like it.

[cleanhippie]

22. Try the Unitarian Universalists...they may be more like you than you realize.

I have started frequenting my local UU fellowship. People from all faiths, and no faith (which makes up about half of the congregation attend. There are no prayers, no gods, no dogma.

[mgc1961]

24. You're not wrong for going to church, Don.

I haven't been to church with God in mind since I was about 18 or so although I have been several times for weddings and such. My sister, who attends a Methodist church, is a firm believer but she admits she's not always with the sermon. For her family it has a lot to do with hanging out with well meaning, decent people even if she's not always in agreement with them.

[jeepnstein]

25. I see no reason not to continue to attend.

We have a very nice gentleman who attends regularly with his wife. He's not a baptized believer and probably never will be. He's also as welcome as anyone could ever be to sit among us. Don't get too hung up on anyone "questioning" you motivation for being there. That's not the way a good church rolls.

[NNN0LHI]

26. I would like to thank each and every one of you for comments and advice on this thread

You have really helped me out a lot here.

DUers are the best.

Don

[Festivito]

27. I can hardly believe you never figured this before.

It is a country club to some. Nice people.

And, nice people who would vote with us if we were nicer.

[trotsky]

28. So you took this nice thread of good feelings...

and shat on it by blaming other liberals for us not winning elections.

Classy.

[laconicsax]

29. They must be done blaming teh gays.

We would've held the House if only those shrill atheists had kept their traps shut.

[Festivito]

30. Perhaps one sees a need to introduce "blame" for a reason. /nt

[trotsky]

31. Yes, a handful of atheists on an anonymous message board are CLEARLY...

the primary factor that keeps narrow-minded, homophobic, anti-choice, anti-tax, anti-labor bigots from otherwise voting for Democrats.

Gotta scapegoat someone, huh? Thanks for throwing non-believers under the bus! Jesus would be proud, I'm sure.

[Festivito]

35. Oh, my... That's just sad. I wish you well. /nt

[trotsky]

37. I'm glad you realize the error of your ways. n/t

[cleanhippie]

33. If you are looking to assign blame, then you need to look in a mirror.

The only blame one can assign when it comes to religion, is by laying at the feet of the "moderates" that stand idly by while the extremists hijack your religion and marginalize you. Blame? It belongs to no one but you.

[Festivito]

34. Perhaps we all could look in that mirror. Not only religion is taken by money interests.

Our whole political system has been taken, our corporate system as well, and more.

And, we've stood idle as it happened.

I cannot blame only the religious or those that gather in religions for money taking a such a strong hand while they were busy thinking other things.

Nor, do I think I am the only person, I guess in your view of the world, to whom blame belongs. (An out-loud chuckle to your notion of me.)

[cleanhippie]

36. My apologies, I jumped to a conclusion.

You are right, I do not know you and my comments needed not be so personal. Again, you have my apologies.

[AlecBGreen]

32. Im glad you had such a positive experience

the sense of community at church is hard to top.

"The congregation wants us to come back and to be honest I would like to, but I don't feel it would be right. Being a non-believer and all."

Believers are called to emulate Christ, and he hung out with EVERYBODY, believers and nonbelievers. If they want you back and you genuinely enjoyed your time there, go back!

p.s. Im sorry you lost your father-in-law :hug:

[PassingFair]

40. Go for it!

Just be aware that they may not be so nice
when they figure out you're in league
with the Debil!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

41. Heed your honesty instincts. We evolved them for a reason. -nt

[Crunchy Frog]

42. Lots of atheists at Unitarian churches.

Probably quite a few at Quaker meetings as well.

[Meshuga]

43. Just arrive there 10 minutes from the end of the service

...And hang out with the people you like afterwards.

At least that's what many of us do at our Jewish congregation.

[Rowdyboy]

44. Time spent with friends is time well spent....whether in church or in a bar....

You may have something to learn from they guys and they from you. Never sell anybody short over stereotypes.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

45. Find some Unitarians.

Lots of atheists go to Unitarian Universalist fellowships and churches.

www.uua.org

I will never go to a Christian church because I would be a phony. I don't believe their doctrines.

[NNN0LHI]

46. I was wrong about this being a Pentecostal church. Its a Baptist church

Today my wife and I went there for what turned out to be a great meal and four and a half hours of Gospel singing. Some of the singing was really good. Some not so good. But who cares? Not me? I still had a great time. About half the church was black folks and the other was white this time. I had a real ball just being there with my wife and a hundred or so really nice people.

Happy I went back. I think I will go back some more. Nice people to hang around with.

Thought I would give this update on my conversion. Just joking. I am still an atheist. Just one who happens to enjoy going to church occasionally.

Don

[JNelson6563]

47. Don, as a fellow atheist

I say: If it makes you happy, do it. Life is too short to be picking/choosing/assuming where happiness can/can't/shouldn't be found.

Life is a banquet, eat up!

Julie