A Cautionary Tale for Men from The Bible

[MineralMan]

1Kings 14

7 Go, tell Jeroboam, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Forasmuch as I exalted thee from among the people, and made thee prince over my people Israel,
8 And rent the kingdom away from the house of David, and gave it thee: and yet thou hast not been as my servant David, who kept my commandments, and who followed me with all his heart, to do that only which was right in mine eyes;
9 But hast done evil above all that were before thee: for thou hast gone and made thee other gods, and molten images, to provoke me to anger, and hast cast me behind thy back:
10 Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth AGAINST THE WALL, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.



The moral of the story is that it's impolite to piss against the wall. You will be cut off if you do that. This happens several times in the Old Testament, so it's best, I think, not to do that.

[Turbineguy]

1. It comes from

drinking out of those big bottles.

[MineralMan]

4. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red.

Wisdom.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

5. "Look at it when it is yellow."

Understanding.

[thereismore]

2. I am sure God would be more lenient if Jeroboam pissed into the cut necks of God's enemies.

:crazy:

[damntexdem]

3. But how many men from the Bible are still around to be cautioned?

I mean, I know that some of those folks in the Bible lived a hell of a long time, but still.

;-)

[MineralMan]

6. It is the Word of God, timeless and everlasting.

Heed it well, eh? You can take your chances, but I'm heading inside to the bathroom, I'll tell you. I don't want to be cut off.

[MissMarple]

7. I guess accuracy in translation is everything. Fascinating.

"I will bring disaster on the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam every male: Jeroboam could have had a lasting dynasty, but he wasted the promise of God with his unbelief, idolatry, and outright rejection of God.



i. Every male: "Means literally 'he who urinates against the wall.'" (Patterson and Austel)"

In addition: So is it the urinating against the wall or being one who urinates against walls related to Jeroboam that get cut off. The first is much more interesting. Thank goodness I have never done that. The ladies must get off scott free, except for the tragedy of losing their sons, if the latter is the case. Oh, the joys of being part of a biblical nomadic group now settled down, of course.

[MineralMan]

8. Uh, yes. It's a colorful way to say "men," I think. I have a

brother-in-law who's fond of pissing against the wall, as a matter of fact. Very annoying, so I think I'll cut him off.

[provis99]

9. they warn against pissing on the wall TWICE in the Bible.

so it must be a big thing.

God also has a thing for smiting people in their "private parts" with hemorrhoids.

[MineralMan]

10. That's how Martin Luther knew he was one of the chosen.

He had really, really bad hemorrhoids, I understand. Made him grouchy. Maybe Paul had them, too. He was grouchy all the time.

[DeSwiss]

11. And once again....

...we see that Yahweh fails to predict the outcome of his machinations.

- Omniscient? I think not!

K&R