Hee hee hee, ha ha, ho ho

[AlecBGreen]

With all the heated debate that goes on here at R/T, I thought this might be a refreshing change of pace :)

link

"For many years, Vitalis' head was displayed at the entrance hall of the current owner's home, only to be relocated to an outhouse when children visited..."

I'll donate $10 to the charity of choice in the name of whomever comes up with the best DUzy re: this article. Take your best shots!

[Sonoman]

1. One of the more interesting auction items I've come across. nt

[AlecBGreen]

2. ew!!!

:spank:

[Curmudgeoness]

3. I want this for my outhouse.

One of the more macabre things I have seen in a long time.

This is your brain on VD.

[frogmarch]

4. It belongs in

a museum called Things That Make You Go "Whuuut?"

This is truly bizarre. I like it.

[dixiegrrrrl]

5. I wanna know what he died of.

[struggle4progress]

6. ... Auctioneer Damian Matthews .. said .. “it’s certainly ancient, and it’s certainly the head of

someone” ... <from the article linked in the OP>

... Auctioneer Damien Matthews ... says the current owners believed it was brought here by an Anglo-Irish couple ... during the 19th century. For many years the ornate case with the skull housed inside it behind glass, had pride of place in the entrance hall of the current owner's home but when children arrived was stored in an old outhouse for many years ...
Severed head of 'saint of genital disease' for sale
By JEROME REILLY
Sunday May 22 2011
http://www.independent.ie/national-news/severed-head-of-saint-of-genital-disease-for-sale-2654271.html

... 'We do a fine art sale once a year and when we decided on Annesbrook then the link with St Oliver Plunkett struck me,' stated auctioneer Damien Matthews from Oldcastle. 'I remember visiting his head in Drogheda when I was a young lad so I said why not put the skull of St Vitalis of Assisi into a sale just down the road.' The skull .. is in a Queen Anne case .. He is believed to have lived in the 1300s and after a rather murky life, went on a series of pilgrimages and finally became a Benedictine monk ...
By Hubert MURPHY
Wednesday May 25 2011
http://www.drogheda-independent.ie/news/saints-head-to-be-sold-at-auction-in-duleek-2657273.html

... Mr Matthews, who operates out of the former Mullen's Auction Rooms in Oldcastle, explained that the head, intact in a case, comes from the contents of a country house - or rather, outhouse - in Louth. It was possibly acquired by a member of the family on trips abroad, but when he married, his wife insisted the souvenir of the trip be put out of the house, and it remained in a shed ever since ...
Wednesday, 25th May, 2011 4:50pm
Will anyone bid me €800 for the head of St Vitalis?
http://www.meathchronicle.ie/news/meathnorth/articles/2011/05/25/4004582-will-anyone-bid-me-800-for-the-head-of-st-vitalis/

Summary: Nobody knows very much about Vitalis of Assisi, who lived and died long ago, and very far away from Drogheda. But Oldcastle auctioneer Matthews, back when he was a mere sprout in short pants, had seen this skull in a "Queen Anne case" in Drogheda; and since he was doing an auction nearby, he suggested to the proud owner that the skull-and-case could be put up with other merchandise. So the proud owner fetched it from the old outhouse where it had been on display. With regards to provenance -- well, it's possible (isn't it?) that a family member acquired this on a trip abroad, and though we're not really sure, it could have been in the nineteenth century, when Vitalis wasn't using his skull much anymore, and it looks really old. Anyway, antiques are always a great investment!

[Curmudgeoness]

7. Antiques are always a great investment. Oh my.

But with the history of saints remains being very murky, and very competitive at different times in history, all we really know about this skull is that it is a skull of someone who died long ago. I guess it could be classified as an antique.

[struggle4progress]

9. I think the skull is not in a very old box, and the glass looks fairly modern

Experts can date the metal garland, I'm sure, but to my untrained eye the whole arrangement (box, glass, garland) looks Victorian

[dimbear]

8. Just because we're always precise on definitions here, take note that

outhouse in the UK just means a building separate from the main house. It might for instance be a shed used for baking or storing lumber.

[AlecBGreen]

10. deadline for snark is Sunday midnight

winner & charity will be chosen then. Step up your game evilDUers, the jokes practically write themselves

[darkstar3]

11. A rotted head in a dirty old box.

No wonder he's the patron saint of VD.

[struggle4progress]

12. "Been behind in your relic collecting? Now's your chance to get ahead!"

[AlecBGreen]

13. OK!

My wife will be the impartial judge. Ill let you know the results in a while :) Its bacon & coffee time for now

[AlecBGreen]

14. ...and the winner is...

struggle4progress! My wife giggled quite a bit at the others but she latched on to yours. Congrats :) PM me or post here for your charity of choice.

[struggle4progress]

16. How about your local Habitat for Humanity group?

[AlecBGreen]

15. follow-up questions from my wife (Chinese)

"Why do they have a saint for VD? If you have VD, how can you be a saint? You Americans are weird."

[struggle4progress]

18. It's very unlikely that the Catholic Church has proclaimed anyone patron saint of VD

The name-plate "Vitalis" looks to me like its from late 1800s to early 1900s. There were plenty of loose bones on fields in France for a long time after the Great War. So I think somebody picked up a loose skull, brought it home, stuck it in a Victorian box with early 20th century glass, had somebody make a brass name-plate, and used it for a discussion piece when trying to get laid:

That? Oh, that's Saint Vitalis! He protects me from the clap!

[struggle4progress]

17. Sold for 3500

... In the end an unnamed bidder from Los Angeles paid €3,500 for the memento mori, well above the reserve of €800 and outbidding everyone in the room, including a couple in their 30s who settled instead for an elephant's foot ... There are no official documents verifying that the cracked skull belongs to Vitalis of Assisi. Reverend Dr Vincent Twomey, a theologian at the Divine Word missionaries in Maynooth, County Kildare, cast doubt on the head's provenance. "The relics claim to be those of a martyr but St Vitalis of Assisi wasn't a martyr, which raises all kinds of questions. There was a Vitalis in the fourth century who was, but that's quite a bit older," he said ...
Provenance uncertain, but ancient human head draws plenty of bidders
By Jason Walsh in Dublin
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/provenance-uncertain-but-ancient-human-head-draws-plenty-of-bidders-2291107.html