I'm an atheist. Is that a problem?

[cleanhippie]

Being asked to be a godparent is an honour. But what does the job actually involve in a society that is increasingly secular? What if you're not religious – should an atheist just say no?

Kate, we'd love you to be Matthew's godmother," said my friend Caroline last week, referring to their 12-week-old son. My stomach tightened. Don't get me wrong – I really want to. It's an honour of the highest order. The problem is that I'm an atheist. So, what to do?

Caroline, who is a Christian and a friend since school, knows this about me. Just as my cousin – also a Christian, who asked me to be godmother to her daughter a few years ago – knows. As I think about it, I relax. I just have to mumble a few words in church, see Matthew have his forehead sprinkled with water, then let the fun begin. I wouldn't be the first non-believing godparent, nor the last.

But then I think about the ceremony and the knot in my stomach returns. "All men are conceived and born in sin." Christening is about sanctifying the child and washing away the sin so that he can be received into Christ's holy church. Well, I'm sorry, but there is little that is more pure than a new baby, and all this talk about the devil and sin and carnal affections in reference to a tiny infant sits very uncomfortably with me. I'm with Richard Dawkins when it comes to children and faith – you can't say a child is Christian, as baptisms appear to do, merely that they are a child of Christian parents.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/aug/13/children-godparents-atheists

-------------------------------------

On Edit: This is not MY story, but the story of the author.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

1. I guess one has to be tolerant of religions, but the whole idea of being born in sin....

seems as sick as some of the sexual perversions I really turn my nose up at.

[elleng]

2. If you can't stomach the ceremony; just say 'no.'

If the responsibility of watching over a child so that s/he becomes an honorable person, and the honor of being asked, are more significant, say 'yes.' IMO.

[cleanhippie]

6. But isn't that just the conflict the author is talking about?

[elleng]

10. I recognize the conflict. Just saying that's how I'd deal with it.

[cleanhippie]

13. Ahh, ok.

[liberalmuse]

3. Do what you feel is right.

You don't have to be religious at all to be a godparent. Maybe if you step back as an observer it would help. You know that baby doesn't need to be baptized, but maybe separating the ceremony from the humans you love and seeing how they find comfort in it can be an interesting and even uplifting experience. Well, I speak for myself, really. Good luck in whatever you decide. :)

[Pisces]

4. I understand how you feel. A good friend who is an atheist asked me to be the godmother in a Catholi

baptism and I could not do it. She was doing it out of tradition and party with no other meaning. She said the words held no meaning and didn't understand why I refused.

She looked at it like Christmas when we pretend Santa is real for the kids, I just couldn't get my gut to agree. I am not religious but I respect others beliefs and saying in Church that I will help
raise this child as Catholic was not appropriate for me.

[3waygeek]

5. I suppose it depends on what the family expects...

in my family, the only thing a godparent does is send a check when the kid's birthday rolls around. I was raised Catholic, but have been an atheist for 30+ years. I had no problem being my 19-year-old nephew's godfather.

[Cool Logic]

7. It is not a sin to be an atheist...

However, it is a sin to be a moral agnostic.

[valerief]

8. Being a godparent means you have to go to the kid's birthday parties for a few years and bring a big

present. That's all. No religion required. If the parents died in an accident, you wouldn't get custody of the kid.

[cleanhippie]

9. The author feels differently.

I see the conflict she is having. She sums it up in the first paragraph.

[valerief]

15. But that's what I answered. The ceremony is clearly BS. What follows are big gifts at the kid's

birthday. No other chores needed.

[rug]

11. Seems hypocritical to lend visible support to such a hateful organization.

[cleanhippie]

12. So why do you lend such visable support to yours, KNOWING its such a hateful organization.

:shrug:

[rug]

14. It's your claim. I'm surprised you would advocate it.

[cleanhippie]

16. I do not advocate your support of your hateful organization.

[humblebum]

17. Just saying "no" is definitely the correct position to take.

The simple fact is that not everyone interprets the world the same way you do. And, in fact, they would be perfectly justified for being upset if you insisted that they change their traditions and beliefs to suit you.

[tortoise1956]

18. What do your friends expect of you as a godmother?

If all they expect of you is to give presents, then it is pretty meaningless.

On the other hand, if they are asking because they respect you and want you to be actively involved in the child's life, that is more problematic. In this case, I think I would accept the honor, suck it up during the ceremony, and then be a role model for the child. However, that is just me. In the end, it's up to you.

Don't let anyone influence your final choice. Remain true to yourself. It's a lot easier to face the mirror in the morning.

[Odin2005]

19. I'm an Atheist and my niece's godparent.

[Critters2]

20. In our tradition, there's a series of ye or no questions sponsors (our equivalent of godparents)

are asked to answer (positively). If you can't do that, you should politely thank the parents for offering you the honor, and then just as politely decline, promising to love them and support their parenting efforts in other ways.

[socialshockwave]

21. I don't mind atheism. I'm not an atheist

I'm a Christian, and really - it's uncomfortable to say so on DU as I've seen Christians bashed on this forum for simply -being- one.

[provis99]

22. pointing out that someone is delusional is not "bashing" them.

[AlecBGreen]

23. lol

nice

[cleanhippie]

24. Where? Please link to the posts where this has happened.

Come on, you made a claim, now back it up with evidence.

[trotsky]

25. Bashing of Christians is against DU rules.

Criticism of Christianity is not.

A lot of people have a tough time distinguishing between the two.

[cleanhippie]

26. Considering your refusal to back up your claim, it will be considered a total fabrication by you.

Making shit up is not very becoming, you know.