Mormons: A Shallow Yet Helpful Guide to See If You Should Hate Them or Not

[xchrom]

http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-11-02/news/mormons-a-shallow-yet-helpful-guide-to-see-if-you-should-hate-them-or-not/

ast month, evangelical leaders gathered in D.C. for the Values Voter Summit, where disciples of the Pissed-Off Jesus harrumphed and yammered about how much America sucked. That’s when the bomb ignited.

Dallas megachurch preacher Robert Jeffress was on hand to introduce Rick Perry. He warned that Mormon “cult” members were not only despoiling Broadway, but were actually running for president. “Non-Christians” like Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman had invaded the Republican primary like a bunch of damn Mexicans – and they didn’t even have comparable skill at operating a riding lawn mower.

If patriots didn’t take heed, Jeffress cautioned, America would soon be possessed by heretics. The nation was shocked. Until that moment, Mormons were considered a mere nuisance, polite yet pesky young men who came to the door when you were trying to watch Supernanny. Or perhaps they were paid spokesmodels for the short-sleeved dress shirt industry. No one was certain. But Jeffress uncloaked them as enemies of Jesus. They might even be worse than Muslims, who at least offered competitively priced 40-ouncers of Midnight Dragon at their convenience stores. So we decided to get to the bottom of this menace, providing answers to your most alarmed and misguided questions:

Why do Mormons worship Satan?

They don’t, actually. They believe in God and Jesus. It’s just that those guys get busy, so they named Joseph Smith their VP of Operations here on Earth. Smith was a magician from Palmyra, New York in the 1820s. He was also the first American to possess superpowers, claiming he could find precious minerals and buried treasure by staring at rocks. Farmers paid him $3 a day to locate riches beneath their fields. Alas, the buried gem market in Upstate New York wasn’t what it was thought to be, otherwise Smith would have found it. So he decided to start an exciting new career as a prophet. As fortune would have it, he began receiving visits from the Angel Moroni. Though often mistaken for the fake Italian chef in Olive Garden commercials, Moroni was actually a warrior-priest from this country’s earliest civilization.

[NMMNG]

1. Oh my

:popcorn:

[midnight]

2. Megachurch preacher Robert Jeffress is something else....

[LiberalEsto]

3. Oh, they all are

It's a crying shame we can't round up ALL the religious crazies in the world and dump them on a deserted island to slug it out amongst themselves. The winners will be permitted to rule the island and its corpses.

Hey, why not?

[OKNancy]

4. This article is funny in a kind of mean-spirited way

Although it pokes fun, it also really explains a lot of the history and beliefs in a true ( but slanted for humor) way.

The only thing that bugs me in general is not articles like this but the typical haughty-elitist responses that are sometimes posted on DU.

Although Mormon beliefs are way out weird, have you ever had a close relationship or been friends with a Mormon or a Mormon family?
I have been with several. I have never met and kinder, more helpful, more generous group. I'm not talking about the nut faction, but the
"normals".

One family in particular that I know. The wife is a professional, was a banker, but went to night school and got a law degree... very successful.
Husband has a less prestigious job but is totally cool with his wife's success. Two great kids, she is a Democrat, he is a Moderate Republican.
You might not ever know his beliefs because he doesn't bring them up. Without going into detail, they would bend over backwards to help their friends, family and neighbors. They would fix stuff for you if they knew how to, do errands if needed, and on and on.

So, my point is: don't judge. Every person or family is different. I don't hate them as individuals, that's for sure.

[Tippy]

6. I have relationship with just such a family...

I just don't get it....my religion didn't bother them and theirs didn't me....Besides that they are Dems....

[SheilaT]

8. In my opinion it should be true

of everyone you meet that you wouldn't know their beliefs because they don't bring them up.

I have also known Mormons and have found that overall they are honest and ethical and are committed to family. But I have a problem with all organized religions in the end, you are expected to believe in the teachings of that particular religion/church no matter what. And, quite frankly, some of the teachings of the Mormon church are just plain anti-science.

[alterfurz]

9. Ed Abbey on Mormonism: "Nothing so hilarious could possibly be true. Or all bad."

[CanonRay]

5. Really good writing

I loved it. Funny how they don't teach about the Mountain Meadow Massacre, and you can hardly find a copy of the book about it.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

7. The only things I detest about the Mormon church are polygamy and their rightwingerism...

Polygamy is degrading, subjugating and humiliating for women, and right wingerism is damaging all around, for the majority.

I consider Mormons to be as right wing as fundies. Aside from that, I don't care if they believe in Santa Claus.

[MarkCharles]

10. Great laughs! Thanks!

(If these people weren't so serious about their religion, I'd be laughing more that is.)

[struggle4progress]

11. Gotta guess the Voice publishing this means there's hardly any Mormons in the Big Apple.

They must be a very tiny proportion of the city

Of the 83% of New Yorkers who say they are religious, about 62% call themselves Catholic, about 22% call themselves Jewish, about 11% call themselves Protestant, about 3% call themselves Muslim, and about 1% call themselves Eastern Orthodox. All the rest combined -- the Buddhists and Hindus, and Jains and whatnot -- make up about 0.4% of religious New Yorkers