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Not original to me, but I do enjoy doing it:
1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
Directly at odds with the US constitution, which is literally "what our USA was built on."
2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.
Sure hope nobody in Dixie County has anything depicting Jesus. Or Mary. Or any saints (sorry, Catholics!). Or an angel. And I sure as heck hope no one puts up a nativity scene; that's like the disobeying-the-Second-Commandment superfecta.
3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
Directly at odds with the US constitution, which is literally "what our USA was built on."
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
Sure hope every single business in Dixie County is closed on Sunday, including hospitals, and that nobody cooks, cleans, or does any yard work. Because if not, it's plague of locust time, baby!
5. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
This is a fine idea -- but it has nothing to do with out national ideals. The family, like God and capitalism, is never mentioned in our Constitution. 6. You shall not murder.
Woo-hoo! Got one! Unfortunately, it pre-dates the Ten Commandments; see (Hammurabi, Code of) and is common to nearly all societies. 7. You shall not commit adultery.
See Commandment 5, above.
8. You shall not steal.
See Commandment 6, above.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
I'll admit it: I have nothing snarky to say about this.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
Not bad advice, but good luck running a consumer-based economy that way.
I think that leaves us with the 3 commandments. Think of the money Dixie County will save on tablets! :rofl:
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