TheTweetOfGod, and The Last Testament: A Memoir by GOD

[Electric Monk]

http://twitter.com/#!/thetweetofgod

You only get a few presents on Christmas Day. You know what I get? Omnipresents.

The Pope just sent Me a friend request. Dammit! I hate when employees try to suck up.

Everything happens for a reason, and that reason is I'm not very good at My job.

The difference between organized religion and organized crime is the former is far deadlier, more profitable, and safer from prosecution.

The next longtime assistant to a northeastern college coaching legend to be exposed as a child molester is just doing it to be cool.

"Why is evil in the world?" Because I had no place else to put it.

"When is the End of Days?" Duh! 11:59 pm.

You can't take it with you. But if you're going to heaven we have it here. And if you're not, it's not gonna help.


MUCH more at the link http://twitter.com/#!/thetweetofgod

And, he wrote a book too http://www.amazon.com/Last-Testament-Memoir-God/dp/1451640188



David Javerbaum is the former executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He also used to write for The Onion, and much more:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Javerbaum