Yes, we have lotus feet -- but we're seeing someone for it.

[saltpoint]

In all the world of the people we are to be thanked by the secret gods.

To live by this is to not be happy unless all things are blessed and you have courage.

It is like the cat that steals your milk.

It is like the dog who eats muffins off the kitchen counter.

It is like the polar bear that crashes through the high school gym and devours the starting line-up of the Prattsville Cougars just before tip-off, while the pep band gapes in horror from the bleachers.

To not live like this is not to live at all, and the secret gods will find you to bring you the blessing of surprise.

In a movie theater, nothing is real except your perception that it is real in fantasy, which is a form of the secret we are hoping to uncover and which is the will of the gods.

These are mostly secret gods to begin with so you have to bear with them. They are all-knowing but they are also tricksters. Why else would they make a dog who stole your muffins? Why else would there be astroturf?

If you are willing to open your heart and be blessed by secret muffins and torn to pieces by rampaging polar bears you are walking on the lotus feet of destiny.

Bless you all.

[greyl]

1. Except for the gifts of the holy Word and

the living teacher, we depart from this world alone. Friends and relations, position and wealth, often desert us during our lifetime - during the various trials and tribulations that we have to face. And even if they stay with us, at the time of death none of these can accompany us to the next world; they are all left here. Why should we be attached to those things which cannot go with us to the next world?
-Darshan Singh

;)

[saltpoint]

2. "...and all the holy remnants of ages long past flood the

public square with new reminders of tarnished kingdoms and distant calvacades, and the little children sings out their incantations and the old wise ones make tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches."

--Hazel Monroe, evening shift waitress at Frisch's Big Boy restaurant, Blue Ball, Ohio

[Random_Australian]

3. Remember, the polar bear counts for +10 points, but if it has cubs then

that counts for -2.

However, burping counts for -2 except in the presence of polar bears, where it counts for +40.

Bieng human counts as -12 points, drinking water counts as + 1 point per 40 gallons, and you need to get above 27.8245 points in order to recieve the full heaven.

Discount heaven is available at just 10 points.

The other ones are going to hell.

[saltpoint]

4. I'm afraid you are correct. These are the ghastly truths we face

as human beings and basketball stars in high school.

We thank humbly the masons who laid the brick even as the polar bear smashes into the gymnasium, even as the cheerleaders yelp in fear, even as polar bear slobber is slung all over the referee's just-ironed jersey.

[Random_Australian]

5. But if the slobber does not cover at least 20% of the shirt you are evil

and must give thanks to worriness in the door happiness bluebird shouting dead midget eats cow but not any longer.

[saltpoint]

6. One regrets one's incidents in the wild.

Your calculations on slobber are a divine calculation and reveal to me your cosmic creds.

Think of the loneliness of the sports reporter sent by his newspaper to cover the game, driving home in the death-shocked stillness of a fall night.

[Random_Australian]

7. He is like an orange flying cow of doom who steals milk from the table.

And eats pencils.

Did you know that when atheists try to do good things, they actually do bad because they set a good example and make people like (and become) atheists, which is of course the most horrible thing in the world.

And they eat pencils.

[saltpoint]

8. I've heard they eat pencils when it suits them but that the pencils

are ready-to-eat pencils, the kind that are spice-speckled and tasty to western tongues.

Those are pencils of distinction from Pan's first gardens and remain rare and extraordinary as diamonds in our humdrum existential lives.

These pencils seek a symbiotic relationship with humans and we open our mouths to take them in, as in swallowing the god manifest in one quick gulp.

[Random_Australian]

9. You are a weirdo..

Which is of course dattaswam for "he who pokes the cat in the gut until it spit out the milk it stole" for 6 bonus points.

[saltpoint]

10. Hi, Random Australian. You had no trouble picking up the parody

aspect.

It concerns me that later on someone else might NOT have read that other poster's spiritual posts and conclude that I was in fact a lunatic.

Well, I guess I am a bit off-chart, but in a very gentle-spirited way, at least most of the time.

'Just ordered a new copy of Matt Fox's THE COMING OF THE COSMIC CHRIST and expect it later this week. And over the weekend rented and watched Shakespeare's ROMEO AND JULIET again -- the Zefferelli version. Wow, what a film.

But tonight I started riffing on dattaswam's posts and couldn't stop.

Nice to bump into you on DU tonight.

[Random_Australian]

11. Don't worry - my observations of sane people lead me to conclude

that it is not so bad to be not-sane. (I am not bieng serious here)

I am pretty much sans movies, bar what is on the TV.

But I don't mind - gotta study for a stats quiz tomorrow!

Gotta go!

Cya!

[saltpoint]

12. Bon soir & all good wishes.

[Random_Australian]

13. Well, I am here intermittently until I stop cooking tea.

With plenty of noodles and vegetables, of course.

[muriel_volestrangler]

15. Of course, now I'm going to have to go back and read those posts

because I can't remember what they're like. Beware of unintended consequences, my ear of wheat - tread on the toe of destiny, and the avalanche of prosperity will find an anti-gravity device.

[saltpoint]

16. Hey there. Nice to see you today on DU. Thanks for your post.

I got into a major doodlin' mood last night. Couldn't quite bring myself to any focal point in a reality that is about to nominate Katherine Harris for the GOP Senate nod in Florida.

It just blew all my circuits.

[trotsky]

14. Oh man

This thread made me laugh until I cried. Polar bear slobber, bonus points, what more could anyone ask for?

[saltpoint]

17. trotsky, there you are. I run into you so rare that I am fond of the

times we do cross paths.

Hope you're doing well as summertime fades into autumn out the window.

[trotsky]

18. I'm doing fine, thanks in part to threads like this.

Helps me keep my sanity!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. Speak for yourself. I have McLaren feet.

Lotus feet went out of fashion in 1994.

[saltpoint]

20. Damn! I'm always running at least a decade behind the fashion trends.

[Silent3]

21. Looks like a certain poll...

...pertaining to similar subject matter got deleted. :(

[SPKrazy]

22. OMG! That's Hilarious! n/t

[saltpoint]

23. We are awash in holidays this week and springtime is afoot.

Imperative that we dip into the attic trunk to find guidelines through our destinies!

All hail the daffodils by the run-down outhouse!

Merriment and conviction to the pure of heart!

Lower bustlines! Tighter sweaters! Painted-on jeans!

Iced tea in plastic tumblers!

Titanium earrings on naked dancers in the April rain!

Babies named "Otis" !

Motor oil!

[muriel_volestrangler]

24. I think you've been inhaling the paint fumes in the outhouse again

Ah, the joys of spring! :evilgrin:

[saltpoint]

25. 'Been down South.

It's really an interesting part of the world.

Really it is.