Question regarding Christian denominations (UCC in particular)

[vi5]

I'd prefer not to get into too many details, but here is the deal. I am an atheist. Have been as far back as when I was a kid (I was raised catholic but even when I was really young did not believe).

I'm in the middle of going through a very personal hell right now with my 10 week old son and what he is going through due to some issues and illnesses he was born with.

Now I know the whole atheists in foxholes angle and i've most assuredly not all of a sudden found religion or faith because of this ordeal. I recognize that even with what my son and my family are going through, that there are millions of people out there still in worse situations that we are. And the notion of praying to a God who can actively step in and help my son while allowing someone else to suffer is too much for me to be able to bear. If anything this experience has pushed me even more vehemently in the camp of not believing.

However last week I made a promise at my son's bed side. Not to any god, but to myself. And (even though they don't know it) to those people in my life who have been praying and who do believe that it is and will continue to make a difference. That if my son had a good week that I would try. I don't think I even knew at the time amidst my tears what I meant by that other than "I'll try" and I still don't. I've never prayed, I've never asked for anything of any god for myself and this was no change. But there are a lot of people who are. And all I wanted was to see my son have a good week for a change.

Well, as of today my son has had a good week. And in the spirit of the promise I made to myself I'm thinking about going to a church this weekend with my 4 year old daughter. Going to a catholic mass is not an option. I have too many issues with and am too far gone from anything that goes on there. But there is a United Church of Christ a few minutes from me. So I'm wondering if anyone is familiar with their mass or any of that stuff. My understanding is that it is a more open minded church in general (if I'm wrong on that please let me know) and that is why I'm asking. If I'm making a good faith effort on this I'd rather not be assailed by lectures on abortion, stem cells, or gay marriage or any of that (I have been at the last few catholic masses I attended with my parents), but I also wouldn't want to go in to a very involved, evangelical type of mass where I'll stand out like a sore thumb. As I said I'm not finding religion here. I'm just "trying". So I'd like to just go with my daughter and sit in a church during a mass with her. As some kind of good faith gesture to say thank you not so much to a god or a religion but to the people in mine and my son's life who DO pray and who HAVE been praying and who really do believe that is something that is going to help him.


Thanks in advance and if this is a stupid question, I ask that you please don't flame or lecture me. I'm not sure I can handle much of that right now.

[William769]

1. Doesn't matter if you believe in God or not.

As long as you have peace of mind is what counts. To me thats faith.

[Joanne98]

2. I'm so sorry!

Don't let the Christian bashers, like me, stop you from praying. I'm mad as hell at the Christian right, but I have never said, I don't believe in God. There's a guy named Jim Winkler! He's the head of the Methodists (I think) He agrees with DU 95% of the time. Good luck!
Joanne98

[Imagine My Surprise]

3. They are great!

They are one of the most liberal Christian churches around. They were the first to ordain an openly gay man decades ago. They are very mainstream. No shouting or speaking in tongues. No one will drag you to an altar. I have the utmost respect for them. I was a member when I was a kid, and took my first "confirmation" there.

[vi5]

4. Thank you...

That's basically what I was looking to know.

[Imagine My Surprise]

8. they are VERY GOOD about the social gospel..

meaning, they are more concerned about literally feeding the poor and helping the destitute than they are about whether you are "right with the Lord" (no one would EVER ask you that there, anyway.) Your relationship to deity would be between you and whatever you conceive of God to be. They do not believe in a literal, burning hell (then again, Billy Graham says he doesn't, either!)

They are not pushy but would be there when you need them.

Good luck!

[SutaUvaca]

5. I thnk it's a good promise to keep

regardless of your own spiritual path ( or not). My experience with UCC is one church in central Florida, and they demonstrated a wonderful balance of spiritual and social openesss to all.

[kwassa]

6. It is a liberal Protestant denomination.

and they don't call it a mass, they call it a service. No communion. Nice people.

here is their website:

http://www.ucc.org/

[Imagine My Surprise]

10. There is a communion, just not a mass.

No "trans-substantiation" just grape juice and wafer in a symbolic ritual.

[kwassa]

28. What? No wine? some communion that is!

[GOPBasher]

7. First of all, I'm really sorry about your son.

I have two kids, and I cannot imagine the pain of seeing them go through something like this. I'm so sorry. :hug:

As for your question -- if you're going to "try" or whatever, UCC is definitely the place you'd want to be. I was in a very similar situation a couple of years ago. I wanted to try to believe, and I went to a UCC church, and I loved it. (I just moved, but I'll try to find a UCC church here.) It's as liberal as Christianity gets. (You definitely won't get any right wing propaganda there.)

My personal advice would be to just check out one service. Even if you don't believe the theology part, I bet you may enjoy some of the lessons in the sermon.

I always go in cycles in what I actually believe, but I always enjoyed the church service regardless.

Take care -- I hope and pray your son will be ok.

[jackster]

9. UCC is a good choice....

but you might also want to try Unitarian Universalism

http://www.uua.org/aboutuu/

They are open to people of all faiths - or no faith

[Imagine My Surprise]

11. Yes, Unitarians are always my first recommendation unless...

something specifically wants a focus on traditional Christianity. The only time you hear a mention of Christ in a Unitarian church is when someone drops a hymnal on their toe.

[don954]

13. here is a sermon from my local UU church, if you wish to sample

Justice, Justice Thou Art..
These days even those without a car have found themselves rubbernecking. Sit on the couch and turn on the TV. We have gone from disaster to the next. Thankfully Rita was not as devastating as had been feared. But, there are now more miles of coast land to restore, more neighbors left to clean up damage and rebuild. But it is more than roofs and power lines. This hurricane season has blown away our shared amnesia about the racism and classism of American society. What sense shall we make of all we saw? How can we help each other see clearly all the implications, all the meanings of the images that passed across our TV screens? What one makes of this hurricane season depends a great deal on where one stands in our society. Black and White Americans have very different answers to the question why did help take so long to arrive? How could things get so bad in New Orleans?


I hope the winds were strong enough to push the issues of race and class beyond the editorial page and onto the national agenda. But that will only happen if individual Americans find the courage and the will to take up these painful issues - yet again. If we can remember what a common sense reading of history makes clear: American racism is the legacy of slavery. To combat it requires on-going deep work. It is not a project that will fit into the cycles of electoral politics. Nor will it recede like flood waters, or fade away, no matter how dazed we become with news of other storms.


Even more than racism, classism is difficult to discuss. We prefer the stories of opportunity. We prefer to believe that education and hard work are all that is needed to make it. We cling to our notions of individuality. We fail to remember that every economic system that creates wealth, also creates poverty. There is nothing in the flow of goods and capital that insures a fair distribution of resources. That is a moral decision, grounded outside our economic lives.


The work to eradicate racism, to alleviate the damage of classism is the work of faith. These problems are so large, so complex, and will take so long to change that unless our deepest principles and highest hopes are involved, we will fail. What response shall we make? This is a religious question.


Liberal religion demands that one develop the capacity to see the world as it is, with honesty, precision and accuracy. It also requires that one never lose sight of those truths, not yet realized, which are the core of life. Realism says: There is animosity, injustice. There are reasons for grief. Things go horribly wrong. We say things to each other that are deeply hurtful, we do things that cause damage, and participate, often unwillingly, in systems that create wealth and power through inequality, scarcity and fear. Faith says: Compassion and creativity are real. Fairness, Justice and Peace are possible.
more..
http://uufbr.org/JusticeJustice.htm

[vi5]

20. Thank you very much for this....

..I say this because coincidentally there is a unitarian congregation a few miles from my sons hospital.

[tjwmason]

12. Have you thought about the Episcopalians?

I can't help you on the U.C.C. - we don't have them in the U.K. as far as I'm aware.

If you were raised Catholic, then you might well find that Episcopalianism is close to what you're used to - without many of the issues which are there for Catholicism.

For a start it would probably be a Mass - though more often called Holy Communion or Holy Eucharist...the denomination as a whole is very open, but there are conservative pockets (though even in those one is unlikely to find political talks in place of homilies).

[JerseygirlCT]

22. If the liturgy of the mass was a comfort to you at all,

then this would fit nicely.

If it bothered you, then it might not.

And yes, parish to parish things can differ somewhat as to how open they will be.

I've not been to a regular UCC service, just a funeral unfortunately. But it was nicely done. And if I left my Episcopal church, the UCC church down the street would most definitely be a contender -- I like their attitude!

[kestrel91316]

14. Somebody said this once, and even though I am about as

religious as my pet cats, I tend to agree: It's ok if you don't believe in God - (s)he still believes in you.

UCC is a cool denomination. My great-grandmother was a liberal-leaning Congregationalist, and they sort of merged with UCC. They are definitely NOT fundies. More like what I call True Christians.

[JerseygirlCT]

23. What's the quote?

Bidden or unbidden, God is present.

[Niche]

15. Why christianity?! Try tolerance... try BUDDHISM. eom (edit for sp)

[DURHAM D]

16. A minor point - they don't call it mass.

Just sayin' - refer to it as going to church, a worship service, church service or just service.

If you refer to it as a mass they will know you are a fallin' away Catholic and it seems like you don't want to draw attention to yourself.

I am agnostic but always find peace on a lake, a hiking trail, on top of a hill/mountain, etc. A even more strangely, whenever I am near a large Catholic Cathedral I go in and light a candle. It makes me smile because I am an ethic Methodist.

[The Deacon]

17. UCC or Unitarian Universalist Are Both Excellent Choices

Also if you are lucky enough to have one in your area there is Unity - it is a very small sect, mainly in Missouri, but I happen to know they have congregations in Wichita, KS; Huntsville, AL; and Albany, GA. Unity is proud of being without formal dogma - memebers are an associated group of people looking for answers (we do a lot of meditating & mutual support.)

[Not Me]

18. I am a former Catholic and am now a UCC Deacon

You are always welcome at any UCC Church, regardless of where you are on life's journey.
We actually foster independent thought. Please come by for a visit!

[mntleo2]

19. Long Time UCC Member Here!

:hi:

I have been a UCC member for over 30 years and you will find open minded progressives there, most likely. I have noticed over all these years that UCC members are pretty much the same type of people wherever I have attended: they are the type who quietly LIVE their faith, they are the ones who are working and supporting food banks, they are on committess for housing the homeless, doing this stuff with little fanfare, and they are regular people, not too impressed with wealth tho many of them are middle class and confortable, lol.

The UCCs used to be the Congregationalists in many parts of the country and it was the Congregationalists who stood up with the kidnapped Africans and defended them from facing certain death as "mutinous" because they revolted on the Amistad. They stood up against slavery, participated in the Underground Railroad, fought for labor rights, ordained not only gays, but women (the first woman in the late 1800's) and minorities as well as educated them when sometimes it was illegal to do that. I am giving you the good picture, and have to say that some Congregationalists were not always as progressive.

My own minister, Rich Gamble faced fines and charges for defying the Iraq sanctions in the '90s and taking medicine to Iraq to children dying of dysentary. He went with The Physicians For Social Responsibilty, our Representative McDermott, and a holocaust survivor all of whom also faced prosecution. Recently with our blessing and in solidarity with the Episcopalian church in CA he wrote to the IRS and told them perhaps we also need to be investigated because in his sermons and his actions as a minister, he WILL speak out against the war (and did from before the beginning of it),he WILL criticise policies that promote famine, homelessness, hunger, racial injustice and social injustice of all kinds.

You can be an athiest and be welcomed in the the church ~ coincidently one of our stanchest members is one here, lol. We also have Republicans as members (who have been here over 70 years and were married in this church, lol). and it is true as they said above, we would never drag you up to the alter, you are always welcome to be whomever you are and to participate or not in our services and activities. Our athiest member is a member because he loves to be around us and because he has his own "brand" of spirituality. Oh and yes contrary to what another poster said, we do serve communion (usually once a month) and all are welcome to participate or not as they choose, whether or not they are church members.

I suspect even in Florida where it can be pretty conservative, the UCC members you meet will be people who are very open minded as well as welcoming to you.

My 2 cents
Cat in Seattle

[hunter]

21. What a lovely thread.

I wish you and your family well, vi5.

:hug:

[JerseygirlCT]

24. And can I just add my best

thoughts for your child and healing?

Regardless of your beliefs, you might find a welcoming support group at a church. No one's going to quiz you on your level of faith, or lack thereof. They're most likely just going to be happy to welcome you. And if for some reason, they're not, find another place!

[okasha]

25. All good wishes to you and your family, vi5.

You'd probably be comfortable in any congregation that identifies itself as a "peace church" or as "open and affirming."

[Dorian Gray]

26. Wow.

I'm not sure about the UCC, though I have heard that it is quite embracing of liberal ideologies. I, myself, am a Catholic and attend church in very liberal Park Slope, Brooklyn. But, I am responding because I want you to know that my heart goes out to you and your family in this time of crisis. Having anything happen to our children often makes us feel so helpless and hopeless. My thoughts are with you, and all my best to you and yours.

[rug]

27. The only real prayer I made was when my daughter had bacterial meningitis.

And it was not because of family or friends.

I have no quarrel with God because if there is none, it's pointless to quarrel.

I prayed because, for one time, I turned, looked, and prayed.

Please don't twist yourself into knots. You know at this time theism or atheism doesn't mean a damn thing.

You hurt, your son hurts, and there's no shame, foolishness or hypocrisy in praying.

God will continue to be, or not be, no matter what you do.

I continue to go to church, but that is truly the only time I prayed and the only time I felt the need to pray.

Hug your son and take comfort where you will.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

29. I am not evangelizing here

at all, but I believe that you could find comfort in an Episcopal service because the words and the music are uplifting and soothing. And this is a denomination that does not support the war, bigotry, or any of the usual nasties.

And you know what? You don't need to make a decision whether you believe or don't believe in this life. Just be there in the moment and leave the big decisions to the universe. Raise your kids and love them. That's your job.

Forgive my theist-centricity when I say God bless your little boy and make him whole.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

30. I'm sorry about your son.

:hug:

My grandfather is a UCC priest. He's cool, and the whole denomination is pretty cool. Very liberal, although you do get your expected pockets of asshattery every once in a while.

I'm uncertain on the whole by what you mean when you say you're "trying"--trying for what? Peace? Hope? Love? Redemption? Do you want to believe? I'm not trying to pry, but if I understood better what you're trying to do, I might be able to offer other sects and/or other religions entirely (i.e. Buddhism) that might work even better for you.

May you find strength for yourself and for your family in the world around you--

WIMR