Malaka of the Week: Tim Tebow

[KamaAina]

(malaka = "wanker")

http://www.first-draft.com/2009/12/malaka-of-the-week-tim-tebow.html

This is more of a "lifetime achievement award" than anything else. The Florida Gator QB hasn't committed any acts of heinous malakatude of late but I may not have him to kick around much longer so I tagged him and he's it. Besides, the SEC Championship between two of my least favorite SEC football powerhouses, Florida and Alabama is this weekend. Atlanta is about to be invaded by drunken frat boys, douchebags, good ole boys and malakas. Unfortunately for NOLA, the loser is likely to play in the Sugar Bowl so we'll be putting up with them soon enough. The Florida fans are *slightly* less awful than the Bama faithful but it's a race to the bottom at best...

Tebow is the only college age man I've ever heard of who brags about being a virgin. Talk about malakatude. When I heard that, I got in touch with my inner teenybopper and thought TMI. Shut the fuck up, Timbo. You could have just said "no comment" to the dipshit reporter who asked you if you were saving yourself for marriage:...

Let's see what else about malaka Tim Tebow bugs the living shit out of me? Oh yeah, there's the creepy nature of CBS sportscaster Verne Lundquist's man crush on him. Verne positively gushes when he mentions the name Tim Tebow, I suspect he wets himself as well. Yo, Lundquist, what the hell kind of Scandinavian are you? You should be nodding and saying, "Oh jah, he's pretty good." Instead you sound like his prom date or something. Sheesh. Have some dignity, man....

My money's on Tebow being the next Douglass. Am I sure of that? What the hell do I know? But I know one thing for certain: Tim Tebow not only oozes unctuous religiosity but malakatude as well.

[LisaM]

1. Brittney Spears used to brag about how pure she was, too.

Look how that turned out for her.

[KamaAina]

2. Hmmm... she's available, isn't she?

Tim and Britney up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! :puke:

[mix]

3. i don't follow college football,

is this guy good enough to make in the pros? i've read that he's a strange fit...dude seems bizarre

[trumad]

4. Yeah--he's talented enough...

but probably not as a QB. He has a pretty awful throwing motion and the speed and size of the NFL should neutralize him pretty good.

I'd be very surprised if he goes in the first two rounds.

[mix]

5. what position then? nt

[trumad]

6. Some say tight end...

Maybe although I think he's a bit small for the position and hasn't played it....

I'd say a 3rd receiver type player. Wildcat maybe?

[Capt. America]

7. Tight end/fullback/wildcat.