Yankees Pondering Offseason Moves

[madinmaryland]

After missing the pennant by one game, the Yankees have some difficult decisions to make before spring training. Here are some of the most crucial issues facing the team:

* Refunding the season tickets Mitch from Staten Island purchased, as per his demand on Yankees fan site message board
* Firing that complete failure Joe Girardi, that's for sure
* Building a new Yankee Stadium
* Opting whether to re-sign Derek Jeter or hire more stadium security
* Doing some things that result in winning the World Series instead of not doing that
* Deciding if they should sign pinstripes to contract extension
* Spending weeks of sleepless nights tortured over Posada and Rivera situations, then buying an anti-aging solution from a late-night infomercial
* Making a trip to the bank to convert cash into talented human beings like they always do

Read more at: http://www.theonion.com/articles/yankees-offseason-moves,18368/

[joeybee12]

1. Beat me to it...the last one is the zinger...nt

[HuckleB]

2. Onion or not, they could dump Jeter and hire a SS who's done something recently.

Maybe Edgar Renteria, perhaps?

[hughee99]

6. Jeter did have a bad year, he put up Edgar Renteria-like numbers. n/t

[Jack Rabbit]

3. The Yanks are just one of many teams that would be better off it they could fire their owners

Hank Steinbrenner is a chip off the old block. Stupid, arrogant, believes in winning at all costs and thinks way too highly of himself.

[DaveinMD]

4. Hank is irrelevant

Hal is the one in charge of the ownership and he's nothing like Hank. But carry on.

[Yavin4]

5. 1-6

Soon to be 1-7