Nation Taking No Joy In Cowboys' Pathetic Collapse

[joeybee12]

'Actually, Never Mind, It's Really Fun,' Reports Populace



IRVING, TX—As the Dallas Cowboys struggle with a 1-6 season, sports fans nationwide have been saddened by the bad fortune that has befallen the franchise long revered as one of the NFL's crown jewels, and known throughout the football world as America's Team.

Actually, the U.S. populace immediately confirmed, the Cowboys' pathetic collapse has brought with it nothing but pure joy and happiness.

"It's really been tough to watch, especially for a team that had so much potential heading into the season," Appleton, WI shopkeeper and longtime Packers fan Erik Hoyer said. "Ha! I was almost able to say that with a straight face. Honestly, this Cowboys team has made watching football more fun than it's been in years. They can't run the ball, they can't defend anything, and they're imploding so bad that their owner doesn't even know how many games they've played."

"I can't think of a better team for this to happen to," he added. "I literally can't stop smiling."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-taking-no-joy-in-cowboys-pathetic-collapse,18405/

[TZ]

1. OMG...I was sooo gonna flame you from just the title

and then I kept reading...The onion is so great...:loveya:

OMG, I'm not saying I laughed at Romo's injury (I'm not THAT much of a hater) but outside of that, this quote could be from me...

"Hearing Romo scream when his collarbone snapped will always be one of my favorite memories," Washington, D.C. resident Nick Thomason said. "I was pretty young when Dallas went 1-15 in 1989, but I still remember their only win that year was against my Redskins. It's like the football gods were repaying me by making sure he was miked up during that game."

[joeybee12]

2. What I notice about the photo first is Dez "I Don't Carry No Stinkin' Equipment" Bryant in the front

A sure indicator they have no control over their players.

[Auggie]

3. Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but I feel sorry for the ticket holders

[joeybee12]

4. Softie!!!!! nt

[HuckleB]

5. Tell it to football fans in Cincinnati, or Cleveland, or Detroit.

Those ticket holders deserve sympathy.

[Auggie]

7. Oakland too. And San Francisco.

[HuckleB]

10. Well, they have won a few Super Bowls, at least.

It may have been a while, but ...

[bluedigger]

11. Sympathy?

Or psychological evaluations?:9

[MrSlayer]

6. Loving it here for sure.

Their cockroach bandwagoneer fans are nowhere to be found. After all that crowing I heard over the off season it's strange not to see a single one of those bastards anywhere. Actually it's not so strange, you never hear from them when they suck but if they have a half decent season they're all over the place. Cockroaches.

[mix]

12. Eagles fans crow losing season after losing season.

We know when we're bad and shut up about it. But what do I know, Eagles are going to the Super Bowl. :rofl:


5-0

[Forkboy]

8. Best thread on DU.

:)

[madinmaryland]

13. Uhh. Don't you have some figure skating threads to reply to? Or have you

video taped them all!

:)

[Auggie]

9. You know it's bad when the paper bags come out:

[rocktivity]

14. That's not nice...

:rofl:
rocktivity