Jesus Christ Claims Tim Tebow Not Ready To Be NFL Starter

[madinmaryland]

DENVER—Jesus Christ, noted Son of God and football analyst proclaimed Monday that second-year Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow lacks the pocket presence, arm strength, and passing accuracy necessary to be a starter in the NFL. “Tim’s place is at the right hand of the other backups on the bench, and his earthly works show that he deserves to dwell there all the days of his life,” said Lord and Savior of all mankind, adding, ““It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle than for Tim Tebow to complete a pass against the Cover-2”. “For Tebow must have faith in coach Fox’s plan, and pay his dues by wearing the headset, and by calling in plays from the clipboard while watching from the sidelines.” Christ also asked Tebow to stop praying to Him and asking to be made the number one quarterback in the depth chart, claiming “that’s never going to fucking happen.”

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/jesus-christ-claims-tim-tebow-not-ready-to-be-nfl,21167/

[joeybee12]

1. Thank God the Onion has switched to real news! nt

[madinmaryland]

3. Snort! Satan is running things...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=1790000&mesg_id=1790000

:rofl:

[Auggie]

2. WHAT? Christ has actually RETURNED?

I'm in deep doo-doo...

:hide:

[KamaAina]

4. If J.C. is such a big football fan...

...why did He allow His Saints to wallow in mediocrity for four full decades before finally breaking through?!

[Jack Rabbit]

5. You know how it goes . . .

. . . Blessed are the poor in talant, for the shall wear superbowl rings . . .

[madinmaryland]

6. He probably wanted to suffer like he had. The forty days in the desert???

:shrug:

[rocktivity]

7. Perfect!

Welcome to the real world, Saint Timmeh!

:rofl:
rocktivity