Red Sox Nation: F@#$ These Guys

[charlie and algernon]

You know what? Fuck these guys.

Nobody should have to root for John Lackey or Carl Crawford or Jonathan Papelbon or Theo Epstein. Sure, there was a time when I felt morally and geopolitically bound to root for the Boston Red Sox, but that time ended in 2004, when Pedro Martinez left to go pitch for the Mets. Every old baseball guy I've met has a story about the moment when he stopped caring so much about his childhood team, when emotional attachment eased off into something resembling a piqued interest. Overwhelmingly, these stories involve the departure of a favorite player. Guys who grew up loving Willie Stargell stopped caring so damn much about the Pirates when Pops retired, Giants fans couldn't care anymore once Mays went back to New York, et cetera. Now that I'm getting old and my interest in sabermetrics (not to mention my job in sports media) has left me a cold, heartless shell of a human being who thinks only about all the injustice all those stupid BBWAA morons keep heaping on Tim Raines' doorstep, I can now reflect back and say that the 2011 Red Sox didn't lose me last night, they lost me when Theo decided to let Pedro hop on that plane to Flushing. That was when the boyhood joy of the game etherized and left this aesthete's body, freeing me to hate indiscriminately and without prejudice. And so. I'm glad that every Tom from Saugus and Sully from Lowell and Frederick from Lexington is calling up WEEI today and calling for Theo's head. I'm glad that every time John Lackey walks into a Stop & Shop, presumably to buy presliced ham, Wonder bread, Red Man and ranch dressing, he has to worry about an enraged fan throwing a cantaloupe at his head. I'm glad Carl Crawford is going bald (although, Carl, if you're already going bald, why not accelerate the process with this nice box of HGH?). And I'm glad people are discussing whether or not Jonathan Papelbon's last pitch for the Red Sox will be the one he threw to the Great Robert Andino. Good lord, I hated this fucking Red Sox team.

After Longoria's home run traveled its 317th foot last night, I called my friend Frank. In November of 2004, just days before Keith Foulke would throw out Edgar Renteria to end Game 4 of the World Series, Frank published an essay in Sports Illustrated that, in part, was about growing up as a half-Guatemalan/half-Jewish Red Sox fan in Needham, Mass., during the '60s and '70s. I met Frank in 2005 when we were both living in New York City. We bonded over the Red Sox, of course, but in a very specific sort of way. Writers, especially those who are always writing about themselves, tend to be a morose, self-sabotaging bunch. It's no wonder so many, in the pre-Cowboy Up/pink-hat era, were drawn to the Red Sox.1 And although I promised this wouldn't turn into a "Being a Red Sox fan is about loving to lose and hating yourself," I'll point out that the only reason why that story hasn't been flooding the RSS feeds of America is because baseball writers these days are afraid to write any angle outside of a pure, game-oriented, preferably sabermetrically sound "take" because they know the hungry math wolves will come charging down Twitter way.2 Frank and several other Sox fans I've talked to over the past 12 or so hours are relieved for two reasons. First, we don't have to pretend to root for these assholes anymore. Second, the old kick-in-the-balls feeling is back! We get to go back to our favorite pastime: complaining about this shitty team and its shitty GM and what the fuck is wrong with Crawford and did you hear what this guy told me about what John Lackey did when he was at that bar in the Back Bay? When I woke up this morning, I thought, "Hey, maybe this crushing defeat will kill off some of the Cowboy-Uppers and the Pink-Hatters and we'll be closer to the ideal mix of Red Sox fans: old angry drunk guys in bars, young angry drunk guys in bars, old and young angry drunk guys at Fenway who heckle Harvard-y fans and/or minorities, minorities who feel weird about being Sox fans,3 openly hate the city of Boston, and, as a result, secretly want the Sox to lose forever."

That's what every Sox fan over the age of 30 can't quite admit, because to be a productive human being you have pretend to be interested in success and winning and enjoying moments of glory. Winning was nice, but man, I miss the bile.


http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7034858/f@#-guys

[trumad]

1. Smack!

[SpiralHawk]

2. Time to change your pickle juice

""Every so often we need to change the pickle juice of the mind. If you hang onto disappointments and resentments, and stew in them, then every thought and feeling you have is going to have some of that flavor.

"It's nobody else's responsibility to do anything about that, though you can certainly ask for help. But, ultimately, you've got to change your own pickle juice."

- Zalman Schacter-Shalomi

[wilt the stilt]

3. He's got it right

This team was hard to root for. There was just the air of arrogance that hung over them.

[KamaAina]

4. I would suggest one of the listeria-tainted cantaloupes for Lackey

I'm glad that every time John Lackey walks into a Stop & Shop, presumably to buy presliced ham, Wonder bread, Red Man and ranch dressing, he has to worry about an enraged fan throwing a cantaloupe at his head.

In addition to sucking so hard he made the Charles River flow backwards, he could easily be today's Worst. Person. In The World!...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=215&topic_id=186851&mesg_id=186851

:spank:

[bluedigger]

5. I can identify.

Did you catch comment number 3 on the side?

"I have a friend who is of Korean origins and grew up in the Boston area. One night after watching a Red Sox game in a bar in San Francisco, he started complaining about the post-2004 crew and what had happened to Fenway. At some point, after a few too many beers, he said, "Oh, the racists of Fenway who used to heckle our family — how I miss you!""

:rofl:

[WilliamPitt]

6. (facepalm)

Don't count me in with that.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

7. As a lifelong Yankee fan who watched his brother actually

take a door down when Thurman Munson died......and got kicked out of
Fenway on multiple occasions...

You make me so incredibly sad with this post.

Sure, nothing is the same as it used to be..nothing is

My team would never, ever, give up 7 runs like that.

My team would have never made me wonder...wtf? are you doing this because you want the RS out? Are you fixing it?

None of it matters. Not your shit you are pissed off about, like Pedro (who f'in attacked my old coot man BTW :>) )

Not my embarrassment about probably seeing the team I love fix it last night.

None of it matters. The spirit lives on. In a different way. But it still lives on. Just roll with the
new way...the deep inside spirit lives on.

[NRaleighLiberal]

8. So, Sox fan since 1967- and still a fan, though post 2004 feels different than pre-04.

I have to admit that the team this year, even when they were in their summer hot streak - even when they blew people out - never felt right. The year I started my Red Sox addiction was in 1967, when I was 11 - a love borne from watching games with my grandfather. The Series loss to the Cards in 67 was my introduction to that poignant, unique brand of Red Sox pain. It repeated often through the years - but the unexpected comeback in 04 against the Yankees made it all different somehow - reinforced by 2007.

Rooting for a big market team that throws money around is actually a bit embarrassing, and it is hard to not feel a bit hypocritical (it is the opposite of how my wife and I live....we are not stars of US economic stimulation, that's for sure!). I can actually be really into the team, really up when they win, really down when they lose - but still a bit detached....maybe being 55, that "it's only a game" starts to sink in - and there are much more important things going on.

but - onto my point - this particular team never felt right - they lost badly and seemed unprepared in Spring training, came out and stunk up the place, then stunk it up again all September. No part of their game ever seemed in synch....and each phase took turns being incredibly awful - pitching, then hitting, then defense - with baserunning terrible all year long. Lackey seemed to be a team cancer, and Crawford clearly wasn't ready for a prime time, big market experience. The hitting approach seemed off much of the time - I can see working starters to get pitch count up...but working relievers? So many perfect pitches watched, taken as strike 3 - did I mention yet how happy I will be when Drew calls it a day?

Now that some time has set in, maybe Francona and Epstein will stick - I do like Tito as a manager, though I put lots of this year's failings on him (he lost the team, I think, in Sept). But it will be a really different looking team next spring, I bet. At least I hope so!

Now I can focus on my other addictions - the Patriots, and to a lesser extent, Celtics and Bruins.....

[Old and In the Way]

9. This season's gonna create some scars in the collective psyche of Red Sox Nation, IMHO.

OTOH, I can't wait for my next game day at Fenway Park...go figure. But I have to admit, with the exception of a few players - Ellsbury, Pedroia, and Youkalis in particular, I can't say I've been caught up with this team like in years past. I think they are going to be seriously overhauling this team in 2012.

What the team needs is a 1/2 dozen Bill Lee's....a bunch of guys who would play the game for minimum wage just because they love it so much. They'd always give 110% but wouldn't forget the fact that it's ultimately only a game. They still might not make the play-offs, but they'd make it a fun team to root for.