One Stupid Woman

[erpowers]

I do not know if I have the right spelling of the guys name, but Andrei Kirilinko's wife says that since her husband is a famous professional athlete she gives him one free night a year of sex outside of their marriage. I did not say cheating in this post because according to Mr. Kirilinko's wife what he does is not cheating if he tells her.

By now you may already know that I am a female. If you were not aware of that fact I am willing to admit it at this point. I think this is just stupid for many reasons. First, why would you be willing to allow your husband to cheat on you. I understand that some people say that some men love their wives and then cheat on them just because they want sex. I do not buy that or agree with that. It my opinion that is just bullshit. I am not completely hating on the people who believe that, I am just giving my opinion. Also, I know some people would probably stand up and say well he is a professional athlete so it will happen anyway even if she does not let him. To that I say then just do not marry that guy or think twice about marrying any professional athlete. Second, I agree with the phrase if you give an inch he will take a mile. So, in my opinion this guy is probably cheating on her throughout the year. Third, with all the diseases out their today once you get married why would you allow you life to be put in danger by allowing you husband to cheat on you once a year. Who is to say that he might not pick a woman with HIV. I just think this woman is crazy.

[Robeson]

1. If my wife cheated on me, we'd get a divorce, if I cheated on her...

...she'd do the same. However, as a cultural anthropologist, I can't put my values and standards on another culture's standards. There are, in fact, cultures in which her attitude is not abnormal. It's not up to me to rank my culture higher than those. There have been some aboriginal tribes, who's right of passage of the younger boys, consisted of performing fellatio on the older men in the tribe. In America, they'd go to jail. In their societies, it's a right of passage. Its not particularly my taste - pun excluded - but that's their culture, and not mine, and it's served them for thousands of years. To say that our standards here, should be enforced on others, smacks of cultural elitism to me.

Outside of the cultural aspects, marriage is also a contract between two people. If it is agreed between those two people what the limits are, then I consider that an arrangement between themselves. That was the same issue with the impeachment of Clinton. He should have never been impeached, because his wife was aware of his promiscuity, though she certainly objected to his stupidity of bedding an intern. But she new about his philandering going back to before he was President, and was intricately involved in developing the strategy for dealing with his philandering in the 1992 campaign. So again, I consider that a marriage issue between them, not me. That was the single reason the impeachment proceedings should have never happened. If she could live with it, why should I care?

On the disease issue, that is a concern. That's why my personal taste is monogamy.

[northzax]

2. who's to say how she runs her marriage?

I know people who have sex outside their marriages by mutual consent, that is their choice (as long as it is really by mutual consent) and I know people who take back cheaters, they basically make their peace with it, and say that the advantages of having the person around outweigh the disadvantages of being married to an adulterer/ess.

sounds like you have some trust issues to me. Give an inch, take a mile? wow.

[erpowers]

3. No Trust Issues

I do not have any trust issues. I understand the idea of not caring what people do in their marriage. In addition, I am not against sex outside of marriage before marriage. However, I feel if you want to have sex with multiple people just do not get married. I do not understand why someone would want to get married and then sleep with other people. If you want to sleep with other people just be like Wilt Chamberlian, sleep with all the people you want while never getting married. I do not have a problem with people sleeping with multiple people, as I said before I just tend to think if you want multiple people just stay single.

You may not have heard the saying, but that is an old saying. I am not the only person to use that saying. I have heard many people in many professions use that saying. Someone using that saying does not mean they have trust issues. I think in many cases including the S & L scandal and Enron we see the give an inch take a mile concept. Noone told them to go out and rip off people they just realized that with the rules relaxed they could do that so they did.

[northzax]

4. see, that's kind of the definition of trust issues

Noone told them to go out and rip off people they just realized that with the rules relaxed they could do that so they did. if you need rigid rules to enforce behaviour, then you don't trust people to behave without those rigid rules. seems simple enough. I have heard the saying, you use it with people you can't trust, or at least I do.

[erpowers]

7. Not Like You

Not everyone is like you. Many people use this saying just to point out that in many cases if you give someone the ability to completely brake the rules they will. That is not an issue of trust issues. Secondly it is not about having rigid standards it is about having rules. If you tell a person or a group that they can brake the rules sometimes it is easily to believe that they will at some point decided to question why they have to follow the rules at all. You do not have to have rigid rules, you just have to at time have rules that are followed all the time or else their are consequences.

[northzax]

9. but it isn't breaking a rule,

if they have an agreement, that becomes the rule, not the one you want to impose.

This is the rule that they decided to live by, if they're both comfortable with it, then she's not 'allowing him to break the rules, just a little bit' she just has different rules.

Does the fact that you aren't likely to get ticketed for going 67 in a 65 mean that you'll go 80 in a 30?

[GOPisEvil]

5. I think this is reverse psychology.

If something loses the allure of being verboten maybe it won't be as tempting.

[KamaAina]

6. Huh? He's not even that famous!

I only know who he is because I hate hate hate the Jazz* for not only leaving N.O. but taking the name. :grr: Beyond that only a hardcore hoops fan (or Utahn) would have a clue who he is.

[erpowers]

8. Not Good Looking

He is not really that good looking.