A new poem- "Albatross"

[WindRavenX]

I haven't begun to edit it, and I know it's actually one of my weaker pieces of late. But it's how I've been feeling; and the imagery of the albatross is something that has intrigued me...
Reactions?
"Albatross"

Those that are older and wise have told me
that you are not
coming back.
But I do not believe them
(How can I?)
I know that now
you are gone
soaring alone on your skies
looking for yourself.
It is a long and lonely journey, I know.
(Are you terrified of the sky?)
I can still smell you on the winds and
hear the echo of
your
scream.

And I so desperately wish to see
your form, against the sky,
like the albatross I saw
when I was young
gliding over a world without end.
I remember how calm his eyes were-
as if knowing where he was
and where he was going.

But here I remain, on the shore
looking out on the steel waves
aching for even a glance of you
over the curve of the horizon.
(how long will I wait-it is not important)
I bay in madness at the moon-
how faith binds and keeps
my spirit from being taken by the salty
winds.

[MrSlayer]

1. Without being a poetry aficionado or anything, I can dig what your saying.

I like it. I see no reason for you to denegrate it. I was lucky to catch your post on the main forum page, I'll have to add this to my forums.

[WindRavenX]

2. cool beans

I consider myself a poet (and scientist)- I write tons and tons of stuff and do edit a majority of them- but I am mostly concerned with how people feel reading them.
How did this poem make you feel?

[MrSlayer]

3. Old.

It makes me feel that my adult responsibilities have almost taken away my dreamer's spirit but there is still a spark of hope that dreams may yet be realized.

Or I missed you entirely. Heh.

[WindRavenX]

4. you got it

(I didn't think about the age thing...but it makes sense).
Yes, there is hope. Always.

[PATRICK]

5. "L'Albatros" by Charles Baudelaire

Actual experience where the poet indentifies himself with the captured albatros. The main difference is that the reflection is about the self in the world not about another, which I take it is not just an albatross.

The "like" section about the albatross of your youth confuses me a little since the first section already talks about seemingly another lost "flier" who is not so plainly identified. When you edit it I am sure things will sort out into a beautiful work. Or not, it still is very nice.

I am probably thinking of a poem of my own which though edited seems stubbornly confused so this is definitely criticism from inside a punctured glass house. Beware the cruel shards. Stepping on my own dreams makes for bloody feet. Wear thick souled shoes.