Hiya writer folk! Anyone care to offer some thoughts on a thesis statement

[Nickster]

I'm taking a class on Argumentative Analysis and Research. We need to read a piece of literature and then write a paper on it or more specifically a question/thesis that arises from that piece of literature. I chose Machiavelli's The Prince and I can't help but see the many parallels between the current mis-Administration. My problem at this point is narrowing down my thoughts to one particular thesis on the parallels. I'm seeing many things that he is doing similar to what Machiavelli suggests but also see many things happening that are opposed to Machiavelli.

My first thought was to write about how Machiavelli would have advised against how the current war is being handled and how current policies will ultimately lead to failure. There are many references to not entering a country based on help from exiles. Not using mercenary forces, etc. I think I like this idea the best.

My second thought was to write about political leadership and the attributes needed for a succesful leader and go point by point about Machiavelli's comments versus how the Bush WH actually follows or doesn't follow the Prince. But then I think where's my argument? Is he a bad leader according to Machiavelli or only half listening to Machiavelli?

If anyone cares to chime in, I would appreciate it. I'm agonizing over how to formulate a thesis on this subject and I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that has seen the parallels.

[Jack Rabbit]

1. I agree your first idea is the best

I. Introduction
Maybe something like:

Mr. Bush and his aides were derided by John DiIulio as "Mayberry Machiavellis", but Machiavelli himself would have been alarmed at the way in which Bush relies on mercenaries and exiles in the war on terror.

That looks like a good opening sentence. Can you put that in your own words and develop it?

II. Middle
Here you would lay out what Machiavelli said and compare and contrast it to what Bush is actually doing. Give some insight as to why Machiavelli would have criticized Bush.

III. Conclusion
I'll leave that to you at this point.

[Nickster]

2. Thanks for your thoughts.

I was thinking along the same lines as what you outlined. I was thinking about the Mayberry Machiavelli line but I didn't know if that would be acceptable really. I didn't want to come off as too partisan or turn off my reader before getting into my points. I think I might work it in somewhere though.

I'm writing a proposal paper at this point and I decided on this so far:

"Specifically, I will focus on President Bush’s inability to follow the guidance provided by Machiavelli in relation to war and how it should be executed in foreign lands. If he had followed Machiavelli’s advice, he would have never entered Iraq in the way that he has."

For the body, I'm going to outline it by chapters I think and then add my claims and support by chapter. Almost every chapter of the book gave me something that I could put into modern focus with Dubya.