Please be gentle, since it is my first post in the Writing Group

[Haole Girl]

"Summertime"

The stress slowly eases out of my body
my mind wanders back and forth between
past summers and now

It's so odd, isn't it, how easily bored
we are as children
and how we long for empty days
as an adult?

Maybe not empty
but less hectic
with time to sit on a porch
or to be fearless
because the only worry
was to be home before dark

Old bones prevent me from
being as reckless as I'd like
and sometimes I think it is
nature's way of preserving
longevity

So when we feel our days are
short, and it becomes difficult
to remember sitting on the front
porch asking our friends, "What
do you want to do?" with wet
swimsuits drying in the sun

we aren't too tempted to try and
do everything else we always
wanted to.

***

[sandnsea]

1. I like that

Alot.

[Haole Girl]

2. Thank you

:-)

[Tangerine LaBamba]

3. Evocative and rich -

and it's not a poem.

It's an outline.

Maybe someday you'll write it out in fuller flesh and tell the story that's hidden inside all those lovely words.

I'd like to read it if and when you ever do.....................

[Haole Girl]

4. Thank you

I was always accused of "not elaborating" in school.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

5. I had to learn, in law school,

how to sketch out every step in what went into building a case, or deciding one. It was hard - as you know - because simply stating conclusions is so easy.

But it was great training for my life later as a novelist and essayist. Now, it's just second nature.

Practice, practice, practice. Too many words is no sin, because the unnecessary ones can be erased.............................

[DavidDvorkin]

6. We're a friendly gang

We have to be, because writers tend to be such misfits in the outside world.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

7. Speak for yourself -

some of us have lived quite nicely in the traditional world, even enjoying ourselves.

That myth of the tortured misfit is just that. Writers are just people. We're no different than any other folks.

And if you think writers are "... a friendly gang ...", write and publish a best-seller, and then see what happens with your fellow writers.

As an old-timer said to me when my first book went big, "You do understand that it's not just that I need to succeed in order to feel good. I also need for you to fail."

We're still good friends, me and Harry.............................

[DavidDvorkin]

8. Sure, I live in the traditional world, too

But I, and most of the other writers I know, are fairly introverted, introspective, and not socially comfortable or adept.

I have to say, too, that my fellow writers have been supportive of my career, and I have been of theirs.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

9. Your publication party will show you

a whole new world, and you'll get a kick out of it.

Your publicist will invite a whole bunch of well-known writers, just to jazz up the scene and to make the papers - the NY papers, mostly - and you'll encounter a world of networks and friendships and lots of socializing, which sounds incompatible to writing, but after a long stretch spent working alone, the company is vital. And writers are great storytellers, not to mention that the professional competition makes for some wonderful creative tension.

My writer pals have been grand to me every step of the way, and, if not for the friendship of just two writers, I'd never be in this game.

One other thing you'll discover - if my experience holds true: the bigger and better they are, the nicer they are. Success and brilliance are a delicious combination, and you'll meet some terrific people, who will also be glad to welcome a new member into their midst. Doesn't dull the competition thing, but the people who greeted me when I broke into the business were generous and warm, and it seems to be a tradition that's passed down. I meet new writers at these parties, and it's always nice to watch as the group grows by one.................................

[DavidDvorkin]

10. I've been in the business since the mid-70s, so I've met quite a few

big names over the years. Some of the big ones were nice, some were jerks. I assume they were jerks when they were small, and getting bigger didn't improve them.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

11. Ah, you're an old pro -

I've only been writing since 1998, so you've got 'way more experience than I have.

Silly for me to try to give you pointers. What a screw-up! Ah, well, the best of intentions, and all that.

I just wish you the best of everything with your novel...................

[DavidDvorkin]

12. No problem

And thanks.

[kimmerspixelated]

13. One great place to receive feedback

in a gentle and supportive way is The Next Big Writer. You might give them a try.

[Haole Girl]

14. Thank you for the suggestion. nt

[jotsy]

15. Ah, the sweet air of innocence in the breeze of reminiscence.

Nicely done, IMO. You call well to younger years and all those long hazy days of summer. All the time we had to frolic that got condensed to a twelfth of itself once we're deemed grown.

I'm fond of describing something I think akin to this phenomenon a different way.

We spend the first five years of our lives trying to get out of taking our nap, about a decade where we don't care one way or the other and the rest of our lives trying to get back to where we can take one!

[Occulus]

16. Nice

I like lines 27-30 (I count blank lines as lines; don't know if that's a convention or not).

"to remember sitting on the front
porch asking our friends, "What
do you want to do?" with wet
swimsuits drying in the sun"

That was my summer, many many times over when I was a kid.

Thanks for the memory.

[Haole Girl]

17. Thank you

And you're welcome. :-)