new anti-ed deform movie: waiting for kryptonite

[Hannah Bell]

...Miss Shelley Rhee, Champion Ed Deformer and arch nemesis of Mr. Talk. Her evil powers include the ability to convince people she is expert in areas she knows nothing about. She will be played by Khloe Kardashian, who, like her character, is mostly known for marrying an NBA star. When Khloe/Rhee doesn't get her way, she threatens to fire everyone or to crush them with her enormous ass.

...Joe K. Lion, a once proud laywer who turned into the Chancellor of Darkness once he lost his full mane of gray hair in a tragic bikini waxing accident. Determined to ruin the careers of teachers everywhere who retain any gray hair whatsoever, Chancellor Lion attempts to strip away Mr. Talk's tenure... The part of the Chancellor will be played by Howie Mandell after we roll him down a jagged mountain.

Arnie Doorknob, a former basketball player who also loves Miss Rhee. He mistakes her enormous ass for a couple of basketballs and attempts to slam dunk her from the free throw line. Miss Rhee then spurns him and marries her NBA star. Arnie decides to win her back by becoming the Secretary of Education and implementing all her policies. At first, the affable Doorknob has difficulty being so nasty, but decides to complete his evil turn when at least 11 teachers at an education conference ask him "Why the long face?". The role of Arnie Doorknob will be played by Lurch from the Addams Family.

This triumvirate of evil--Chancellor Joe, Shelley, and Arnie--sometimes called the Lion, the Bitch, and the Doorknob--join forces with the diabolical billionaire Mayor TurdBloom of Metropolis (who was to have been played by Gary Coleman) to bring down Mr. Talk and his dream of educating children. They hit him with a slew of fiendish initiatives, including such hellish measures as unrelenting testing, running records, conference binders. student portfolios, and PD on Brooklyn/Queens Day. Mr. Talk and his abs are almost defeated when he remembers his ally, Randy Winebottle (portrayed by the Gollum). Mr. Talk believes that Randy can help, and she offers him a magic scroll. Imagine Mr. Talk's horror as he takes the paper and sees the words "2005 Contract" scrawled across the top in blood...

http://www.accountabletalk.com/2010/06/waiting-for-kryptonite.html