Bullying Victim Punished, Bullies Go Free

[Modern School]

A 16-year old boy from Whitewater High, Fayette County, Georgia, taunted with homophobic slurs on a school bus, threatened to go Columbine on his school in retaliation. He was suspended for 10 days and charged with making a terrorist threat. When his home was searched, there was no evidence of weapons of any kind.

Obviously, threatening to kill classmates is a very serious matter and students who make such threats should be disciplined. However, this kid was no terrorist. He was a tormented teen who felt abandoned by the adults in his life and who lacked the emotional resources to handle a stressful and difficult situation. Even if he had wanted to kill his classmates, he lacked the weapons to do so.

Meanwhile, Whitewater High has made no statement critical of bullying or anti-gay slurs. There has been no move to punish those who had been tormenting the boy.

For more on this, please see http://modeducation.blogspot.com/2010/12/bullying-victim-punished-bullies-go.html

[Warpy]

1. That's the way it was when I was in school. Nothing has changed

except the bullies are getting bolder every year, secure in the knowledge that nobody will stand up to them or their bullying parents.

It's why I went after them off school property. Mostly, they backed down if I gave them a chance. Sometimes I was just too pissed off and they got lessons in why not all kids are easy marks.

[Dogmudgeon]

11. Most of my "persecutors" seem to have become Born Again

I run into them on Facebook every now and then.

Good Christian men, all.

--d!

[Warpy]

12. I checked out the one I put into the hospital when I was ten

He's a real estate guy with bible verses on his website.

[bbdad]

15. Did any of these people apologize to you?

Do they recognize that what they did to you was a SIN? Are they honestly sorry they bullied you, or are they merely trying to make themselves look good out of their own smug self-righteousness? Do any of them offer to counsel bullied kids? And I speak as a Christian!

[redirish28]

2. Amazing. Not really just sad it is the same sorry after all these years.

[Ilsa]

3. I ask kids that show up in the school nurse's office frequently

if someone is bothering them, being mean, saying hurtful things, etc. I'm surprised by the number of episodes of bullying I hear about, and these are just the kids who are willing to tell me. And these are kids less than 12 years old.

This poor kid in GA needed help and didn't get it. His threat was a cry for help, but it isn't being treated as such, unfortunately.

[Smarmie Doofus]

14. A lot of kids get a vibe from their teachers:

"it's not my problem."

"it's not a school issue."

"it has nothing to do with education."

In fact, it IS a *school* issue, that has EVERYTHING to do with *education*, and it's EVERYBODY'S problem.

[DemocratAholic]

4. something quite similar happened to me

I had a very similar incident happen to me my first year in college. This was back in 1983 when Ronald Reagan was president. Anyone remember what the world was like back then? NOBODY admitted they were gay then. I went to a relatively small college in upstate NY. I never said I was gay, and I don't really think anyone really believed I was gay. But I was different. I was surrounded by Reagan lovers. I was a lot more sensitive than other guys, and I was willing to speak up if anyone made gay slurs, or any other issue I felt strongly about. Hence, the taunting started within my suite, people calling me names which usually implied I was homosexual. It was absolutely unbearable. I can't even express in words how horrible it was to be trapped in a suite with six other people who were constantly harassing me, every time I would walk into that suite they would call me horrible names. My own roommate was the worst of all. I didn't know what to do or where to turn. I was humiliated and embarrassed, and I really didn't feel there was anyone I could turn to for help. The weird thing was, I felt like I was the one who was wrong. I knew in my heart that they were wrong, but when everyone else is against you, you lose faith in yourself. I had a friend on the same floor who I confided to about the way I was feeling. I started telling him things that were running through my mind, thoughts I had of revenge against my roommate. They were not serious thoughts, more like fantasies of revenge. Next thing I knew, I was hauled before Resident Director and being accused of making threats of doing harm against my roommate. It was an extremely serious situation that almost had me kicked out of college. I broke down in tears and started telling her what had been happening, what had led up to it. I wasn't even trying to defend myself, it was just a complete breakdown. I never thought she would care about what they had been doing to me. If anything, I thought the idea that I was gay was only going to make things worse for me. To my utter astonishment, the guys on my suite were the ones who got into trouble, and I was quickly removed me from that suite. I'm not exactly sure what trouble they got into, but I know that not one of them ever said peep to me again...if anything they were actually very nice to me after that. I couldn't believe the RD actually took my side. But I'll tell you, I was forever scarred by that situation. I'll never forget the thoughts of suicide I was having, thinking that it simply was not worth living with that kind of abuse. I always tell people, you can never imagine what it is like to be harassed because others think you are gay, it is utterly indescribable what it feels like and what it does to a person. And I guess compared to what happened to the boy in this story, what happened to me was had a GOOD outcome.

[Smarmie Doofus]

13. Only too well:

>>>Anyone remember what the world was like back then?>>>>>

Good post.

Peace.

[burnsei sensei]

5. I've seen this happen a lot.

The dynamic in which the bullies or bully are set free to go back to another day's crime and the victim is punished as if his very presence was a crime.

[ThomCat]

18. +1

Yes, that describes it pretty well. :(

[ThomCat]

6. This is what I usually perceived as normal.

Being bullied was never something that got attention from the school. It was never considered a problem. After all, students were all expected to be able to take care of ourselves.

But reporting bullying, that was a problem. Calling someone a bully, that made you a problem. According to the school, or any pretty much any organization that took care of kids, that meant you were were weak and wanted other people to solve your problems for you.

Bullies were often perceived as leaders. They organized kids and they took care of their own problems, sort of. There were usually pretty good at managing people's perceptions, including the perceptions of adults. That includes their parent's perceptions, so the school didn't have much incentive to go after the bullies. That just invited hassles from their parents.

There is a lot more attention to bullying now, but I don't know that most schools have changed this perspective much.

[Hannah Bell]

16. "But reporting bullying, that was a problem. Calling someone a bully, that made you a problem."

I think that's the way it is about half the time with a lot of "problems" that involve people ganging up on others -- not only with bullying. Minor & major corruption, the same.

[ThomCat]

17. That's what happens when people appreciate

the characteristics behind the bullying and ganging up on vulnerable people. They appreciate the strength and the ability get a group to follow you and the ability to get your own way more than they appreciate safety for all people, or equality for all people.

[Odin2005]

7. I was constantly punished for defending myself.

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. Did you make terrorist threats?

There's a difference between defending yourself and making threats to go Columbine on your peers.

[Odin2005]

9. No, I didn't.

I just beat the shit out of a few bullies.

[Dogmudgeon]

10. When I was in school, they just paddled the victims

The worse the damage by the bully/bullies, the more "Heat for the Seat" would be applied.

I remember my nose bleeding during one of my "ass-whuppin's" (gee, that makes it sound so funky), because I caused two classmates to dirty their tender fists on my face.

Of course, my town was overrun with Fundies and Catholics, and worshiped the coaching staff -- those manly men who spanked teenage boys.

These days, the kids get away with murder. They break the Sabbath, utter blasphemous oaths, and take the Lord's name in vain with impunity.

--d!
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