Lesbian mothers embroiled in unprecedented battle for custody of 2 children

[IndianaGreen]

Lesbian mothers embroiled in unprecedented battle for custody of 2 children

By Orly Vilnai

For the first time in Israeli history, the court must intervene in a dispute between two lesbian mothers who are fighting over the custody of their two children.

Despite its urgency and its impact on two small children, since the case was first brought to it six months ago, the court has been dragging its feet and has not even examined the basic evidence yet.

Dorit, the biological mother of both children (conceived from anonymous donor sperm) and Yaela together raised the children, who called them both "mother." Dorit now argues that there never were two mothers, only one, and that Yaela was just another woman living in the same house with them, and therefore has no right or authority over her children.

Yaela did not adopt the children, thereby anchoring her parental rights, as recent court rulings allow her to do. However, she has in her possession a letter from a kindergarten director addressing them both as mothers, a statement signed by the nanny to the effect that they both acted as mothers and tended to the children devotedly, letters and greeting cards to both of them and home videos depicting a happy family, with the children calling her "mother."

"It's hard to describe the helplessness I feel," says Yaela. "I feel gagged and bound and there's nothing I can do to get my children back."

When they broke up, Dorit and Yaela agreed on joint and equal custody, but a few weeks later Dorit told Yaela that the two children needed to live in one place, and since she was the biological mother, the children would stay with her. Yaela was allowed to take them twice a week. But a short time later this arrangement also fell apart.

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1058441.html

[nightrain]

1. very sad, and yet, the only "unusual" feature about

this child custody case is that the two involved are women, rather than a woman and a man.

Is that newsworthy then that lesbians care about their children and fight over them?

[bluedawg12]

2. Exactly.

It's being turned into a leering circus, rather than the common theme of love lost and chilren in the middle.

[Lyric]

3. What disgusts me is this:

Gay couples are no different from straight couples; they fight, and sometimes those fights include children. However, because the laws of most countries are hostile to gay relationships, all too often one partner is able to victimize the other (and the children, for that matter) in a way that would NOT be tolerated if this were a fight between two straight married people.

Some lesbian friends of ours in Massachusetts are going through something similar to this right now; the one who has custody of the children (their bio mom) is trying to take them and move back in with her parents in Mississippi. She knows that if she's living down THERE, then her marriage won't be recognized, and thus her partner will have no leg to stand on when it comes to trying to seek visitation. Frankly, I find her manipulative behavior sickening. She's taking advantage of hateful, anti-gay discriminatory laws to help advance her own petty, selfish agenda, regardless of how WRONG it is for her to do it. I told her flat-out that what she's doing is like a Jewish person ratting out a fellow Jew to the Nazis for the sake of some petty personal vengeance. Needless to say, she and I are no longer on speaking terms.