removed by author with apologies

[baldingrockwarlord]

removed by author with apologies

[libodem]

1. What a thing to ask

who wants to publicize something like that. I'm sure the lurkers from Free Republic, are the only ones who will answer in the affirmative.

[bluedawg12]

3. That was pretty harsh.

It seemed ike an honest question that had real implications for some people.

I didn't see the question as anything other than, someone asking about sexual attractions, outside of marriage.

I would imagine that question comes up for str8 couples. I.E. "Now that I am married but attracted to this person of the oppisite sex, I feel I am in a quandry."

I have a lot of questions about bisexuality and would like to know more about how it is with folks who are Bi.

Also, the OP never said anything about infidelity. It was a question, thus far, about attractions.

Good grief, you bit the guys head off.

On edit: bite to bit.

[Zuiderelle]

2. I have to ask, what is the difference between being a bi married guy and a straight married guy?

oh never mind, I see you removed the question.

[bluedawg12]

4. I had a lot of questions too, I want to understand this.

Plus, I wonder about the spouse? In this case, her POV and how the OP sees it?

Perhaps they have an open marriage?

Man alive, nothing is ever going to discussed if people are unable to speak up.

[Zuiderelle]

5. My question was just a question too. I really want to know what's different for a bi married person

than a straight married person. Come on now. I didn't make him edit that. I really want to know.

[bluedawg12]

7. I was echoing your question, it's the same one I had.

Neither one of us made him edit it.

My question actually would have gone one step further, now that a Bi person has made a choice to "marry" and I assume it was a different-sex marriage, how did he make that decision?

Was it that he did prefer women or was it social pressure and now he feels he is missing some other part of his life and attractions?

There is a lot I don't understand and yet, there are quite a few Bi folks around, I was interested in hearing from someone who was willing to talk about the basics.

[Zuiderelle]

10. Ah, then we're on the same page. Cool.

I'm interested in knowing these things too.

[bluedawg12]

12. Yes we are! Right on!!! :)

:pals:

[baldingrockwarlord]

6. I certainly did not mean to offend ANYONE.

And please my apologies, I was trying to be as delicate as I could. DU should just drop the BLT off of their forum because outside of gay, there certainly seem to be a lot of judgemental folks out there who make enough room for themselves and their lifestyle at the table but have no tolerance or acceptance of others. Either be what you say you are in this forum DU (GBLT), or make that adjustment and lets not mislead. Once again my apologies.
I really like DU and like this place. I certainly did not think that my question would anger someone like that so I removed it. I didn't think it was out of line. i'm sorry. Maybe we're not ready for that here yet.

[bluedawg12]

8. You don't have to apologize, that was just one OP.

The others of us are trying to talk to you. Don't go away.

[Zuiderelle]

9. Well, now THAT's going a bit far, when there was ONE response that judged you.

I am still hoping you'll answer my question. What's the difference between a bi married guy and a straight married guy? Meaning... do you think that bi married people are somehow different, less or more monogamous, less or more happy, etc.? The bi married or partnered people I know are monogamous and quite happy. I'm curious what your perspective is, since you brought up the subject.

[bluedawg12]

11. I'm the one who said this repsonse was harsh:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=221&topic_id=118597&mesg_id=118598

I'm the one that thought it was judgmental, not, the OP.

I think the first reply out of the gate scared him off, it seems you and I are just asking questions in a conversational manner.

Your question is a good question, pretty much one of mine too.

[Zuiderelle]

13. Yes, I agree with you. But the OP did seem to infer that that first post was judgmental as well.

We're like so totally agreeing here. :pals:

[bluedawg12]

15. I know .

Well, I think it seemed like he was asking something very personal and taking a risk.

If he' still lurking, I hope he knows that there are plenty of Bi people around this forum and they are all part of "US" the big happy rainbow flag!

[meegbear]

14. Dammit! I miss all the good stuff!

x(

[bluedawg12]

16. I think the poor guy is gone.

I wish he'd stay and talk to us.

[Zuiderelle]

17. We're a scary bunch. Perhaps he should go to one of your shows.

Oh, I'm feeling an inspiration coming on.

[bluedawg12]

18. Oh geez, we are not a scary bunch, but we are a little like herding cats!

When one posts, one never knows what response to expect.

Seriously, I hope he comes back.

We're not scary at all, we're just a bunch of big happy gay/bi/str8/allies/celibate/trans teddy bears.

:hi:

OK, we do ask a lot of questions, but, that's what forums do.

[Zuiderelle]

19. That's what scary forums do.

:D

[libodem]

20. Maybe I was too harsh

I'm sorry too. It just seemed exploitive to out one's self on a public message board for all the world to see. Maybe it's cool and I've become an old fuddy duddy. I'm as curious as everyone else and open to discussions. I jumped the gun. Maybe you should try asking again. Sorry, I'm ashamed of myself for blowing your survey. Maybe you should try a poll?

[bluedawg12]

22. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, maybe he will come back?

[SarahB]

21. I wish I saw the original question.

I'm married and bi myself and often people of many orientations view monogamy as their only relationship option. It's not, but to have other boundaries (polyamory, an open relationship, or whatever form on CONSENSUAL non-monogamy one practices) requires absolute communication and total honesty with your partner(s). Anyway, you are not alone here. We just tend to be a less vocal super-minority.

PM me privately and I'd be happy to answer.

[bluedawg12]

23. That would be great if he PM'ed you. He brought his question up

in another thread, and I said: hey why don't you post it as a question?

Now I feel bad, because I wasn't setting him up to get clobbered, not that I have the "power" to set people up--I just thought he could get answers from people who know stuff.

So he did, and it went off the rails for a bit. Like I said, this a little like herding cats, we all wander off with our own little meowing and stuff. I know I can get a little OT on occasion, myself. :eyes:

Anyway, I don't recall the exact wording of his question, so I will leave it to him to either repost, rephrase, or PM you.

More than anything, I wouldn't want someone to think that they are not welcome here under the big rainbow tent.

Your private PM offer is very nice. I hope he returns, I can understand how sensitive it is to talk about personal stuff, as opposed to "abstract issues" and politics.

Maybe some good will come of this and you two can chat? :fistbump:

peace

bd12