Rapture Ready goes crazy about "Homosexual Animals"

[Sebastian Doyle]

Can someone please squash this nonsense. I was trying to do some research the other day to support my homosexuals arent born view and I stumbled upon a ludricrous conversation where one supporter of homosexuality being natural cited that there is scientific evidence of homosexuality in the animal kingdom of which he then cited some sort of ape that is the closest to mankind called Babo apes or something like that that have been proven to engage in homosexual activities!

To me this is absolute nonsense they are trying to tell me that male animals actually prefer to use their natural male parts to penetrate another males anus (sorry for being graphic is everyone 18+ ? mods edit if its too graphic please) and if thats the case I assume that the female animals are also prone to homosexual feelings so please answer me this what do the females do? They are not capable of be as sinfully creative as human females in substituting the natural male part. These statements really made me upset because they actually believed it to be true and used this argument to persuade others that what they were doing was so natural that even the animals engage in it. Has anybody heard this nonsense?????

The response from "Goodboy" is especially hysterical. Apparently he thinks that the animals need to confess their "sins" to JC, and then everything will be all good.

Then there's the comments about incestuous dogs, demonic possesion, etc.

Read here for more hysterical fundagelical comedy..... http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=91312

[LeftyMom]

1. "Babo apes or something like that"

Something is seriously wrong with education in this country.

[yardwork]

14. I think maybe they're talking about bonobos - promiscuous little creatures.

I died laughing at the part about ????what do the females do????

Do all homophobes really believe that lesbians only have sex with dildos?

[LeftyMom]

15. That's what I meant. It's horrifying that an adult doesn't know what a bonobo is.

My kid could have told a person a bit about them at four. Is most people's science education REALLY that bad?

I don't think 'phobes really believe lesbians only use dildos, they make jokes about "licking carpet" or whatever, and you know those guys probably all beat it to "lesbian" porn for straight dudes. But the Raptards are a whole 'nother breed of dumb, even by fundie standards, so who knows what goes on in their shriveled little minds.

[yardwork]

18. It's hard to know where to begin with the Rapture Readies.

These people buy giant food bowls for their dogs, who will be "left behind" when their owners get raptured. These people post that they have their crafting tables facing east so "I can see Jesus coming."

[LeftyMom]

20. My favorite was the one who got her hair and nails done so she'd look nice for her "bridegroom"

I guess she figured she was going to get beamed up before they got chipped. :eyes:

[yardwork]

22. Imagine her panic between manicures.

[LeftyMom]

23. Her husband might not be really happy when she gets breast implants for Jesus.

I never really encountered that whole "moist for Jesus" phenomenon until I started lurking fundie boards. Jesus needs to get a restraining order against some of those people. And not just the women, either.

He should probably start with Ron4Jesus. He's creepy and I think he stole Ned Flanders' mustache.

[Taverner]

2. While it may be fun for some to laugh at those idiots, I fear them

I know their world, and want nothing to do with it

Quite honestly, after reading about three lines I want to take a machete and start going Nero on their asses...

[Ian David]

5. Conservatives will shoot you in the head if you touch your penis. n/t

[Taverner]

6. Yes...yes they will

They're psycho and funny that way

[Ian David]

9. The only reason why a conservative will touch a penis is to torture your child to make you confess.

[Ian David]

3. My Hebrew School teacher seemed to believe that god destroyed the animals in Noah's flood...

... because they were being gay with each other.

Actually, he said the animals were doing "unnatural things," but declined to be more specific.

I had always imagined they were trying to wear clothing, or learn to juggle.

[Bolo Boffin]

4. Actually one person there gave a right-good bible answer

Homosexuality is demon possession, you see. Animals can be possessed by demons (pigs). Therefore, demons are making them animals rut men with men and women with women. It's demons all the way down.

Not a lick of sense to it at all, but a right-good bible answer, nonetheless.


(Full disclosure: I am gay. I don't think I'm demon-possessed at all.)

[Ian David]

7. That's silly. Everyone knows that homosexuality is caused by engrams in the reactive mind.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2008/04/25/Oprah_wideweb__470x309,0.jpg

[Taverner]

8. Lemme put it this way - when I was in their schools a girl developed Anorexia

And it was written off as "Demonic Posession"

Oh, by the way, she died

Pretty neat huh?

[Sebastian Doyle]

11. Now that's just ridiculous

Even demons have to eat.

[Taverner]

12. You'd think that too, huh?

But no - she was "afflicted by Demons" and needed our prayers, and laying of hands - nothing else. Not a Shrink, not a doctor, but laying of FUCKING hands.

[Chulanowa]

16. Well, to be fair... have you checked?

Or are you one of those silly sods who DIDN'T buy Dr. Flibertsteen's Demon Detector™? It's a mandatory part of any zombie apocalypse survival kit.

[Chovexani]

24. Really? You're not?

HQ must have made a mixup when they recruited you.

Enclosed is your missing complimentary demon. Enjoy!

Regards,
Bisexual Succubi Local #666

[moggie]

10. Ah, the fundie approach to evidence

"I went looking for evidence for x, but instead I found evidence against x, so I'm going to hysterically dismiss it, because it goes against my prejudice"

[NMMNG]

13. Damn they're stupid

And hateful. What a dangerous combination.

[Sal Minella]

17. "ludricrous" = my word of the day. So much better than the original.

[yardwork]

19. Feels like Free Republic! Maybe it's cross-posted there.

[yardwork]

21. Another work of genius!

WE ARE HUMANS....the animals are different..some animals are even ermaphrodites and some reproduce themselves by having intercourse with themselves!

"ermaphrodites" is my new word!