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Edited on Wed May-27-09 06:57 PM by MsUnderstood
Okay people, lets break it down. Inevitably this week and this weekend, there is going to be some saber rattling and foot stomping over this whole Prop 8 mess. The majority have spoken and some of you majority might be out in force to celebrate the victory of the people telling California how it is going to be (and by the majority I do mean the 52% of the 36% of the eligible voters in California. . .lovely what voter apathy, ballot confusion and unlimited funds from the Church of Latter Day Saints will get for you).
Regardless, when you do go out to make your voices heard, there are some rules.
I’m guessing there will also be voices from the other side, the NO H8 side if you will. And listen, I sympathize with you NO H8ters but I’m now a minority of that minority. See, I am one of the 36,000 lucky people (and 18,000 lucky couples) who fell in love or found love during the magic 6 months of Gay Marriage Nirvana in California. And I jumped at that chance. Sure I’d been with my wife for 16 years and we’d been Domestic Partnered for several years prior but still, I got married! Where the hell were you?
Couldn’t you have grabbed the nearest lesbian or gay person next to you and say “Yep, I’m gay! Let’s get hitched?” if it is good enough for Brittney Spears to marry on a whim and she can do it at any time from 18 on up (as long as she can testify her betroved has the opposite genitalia, is not currently married, and is not related) then why not you? Marriage is not an institution to respect, it is something to rush into during the brief moments it is offered, much like the swirling cash machine at the local casino where one lucky participant gets 30 seconds to grab handfuls of dollar bills in a vortex of greed. . .but I digress.
As a minority of the minority of gays and lesbians, but also now in the majority of those upstanding, responsible citizens who have upheld the sacred trust of marriage, I want to communicate some the rules for the rallies you will be flocking to looking for justice (and maybe a date Saturday night. Lets be real. How often do so many homosexuals converge in one area except for Pride festivals which don’t get rolling for another 2 weeks right?). What? Oh Yes, yes! The rules, very important!
1) When you go to the rallies and protests and gatherings this weekend, pay special attention to the. . . umm, how do we say . . .facilities. There will be some port-a-potties, to the back and to the left of the stage. And they may not be labeled but you can assume these are for the married people only. There will also be some bushes to the right near the stage entrance. These are separate but equal bathrooms for the unmarried. Both facilities provide modest coverage, both will probably really stink by the end of the day and both have the same basic cleaning cloths for use when you are finished. And don’t think that by being domestically partnered you can sneak your way into the porta-potties. Oh no! If you ain’t married you ain’t welcome to cop a squat here! Use the correct facility please!
2) Also, parking is at a premium so let’s be aware of your place. There is some lovely garage parking one block away from the rally for any Heterosexuals who wish to speak up or speak down about Proposition 8, validation is available. That parking is sadly reserved only for those who can prove they reserve their love for an opposite gender.
You want to love and marry the same gender? No problem! Your parking is about 2 miles away in that dirt lot. . .just ask that homeless guy to move his tent over so you can squeeze in your Hybrid (and a word of advice, tip the parking attendant if you want that car to be there when you get back). C’mon now, you are parking and isn’t that what you wanted? So what if you have to walk further, pay more and wonder about the overall security. No pain no gain right? The parking is equal and only seperated by a brief run through the best part of the city. . .so deal.
3) Finally lets get our terminology straight (pardon the pun). Unless you are married, your “significant other” has limited but equal terminology: lover, partner, girlfriend, or boyfriend will work (gosh it sounds so high school but that’s your fault for not marrying when you had the chance). IF you missed your golden opportunity, you are not MARRIED. Don’t you try referring to your soulmate as your spouse, wife, husband or gods forbid “ball and chain”. Nope those are not words you can use.
Remember everyone this is about protecting the sanctity of marriage and the voice of the People. The will of the majority of Californians (which depending on how you count percentages the majority would be 18% of California residents or 32% of eligible voters, or 51% of those who actually voted. . .ah I see the majority now) must be upheld.
Majority rule, minority right was so 2008 (and sorry you missed out, as a lovely time it was too).
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