Bisexuals - does your attraction ebb and flow?

[Zhade]

Do you feel attracted to one sex strongly for a time, then the other for a time?

Right now, I'm at a point where I'm thinking a LOT more about guys than I used to. The physiological attraction to women remains as strong as ever, but there's a definite increase in how hot guys make me. To be frank about it, there are times when I'm trying to go to sleep that all I can think about is, well, hot sweaty man-on-man action!

I've read that sexuality is thought to be fluid, and can wax and wane over time (why, I'm unclear). Has anyone else experienced this?

And, on a related note, has anyone ever told you that you're not really bi, but gay, because of the increase in same-sex attraction?

(Sorry if these sound like n00b questions - I only came to terms with my queerosity a few years ago, so on many things I really AM a n00b.)

[liontamer]

1. ummm, no

my attractions ebb and flow based on the attractiveness of the people in my vicinity :shrug:

[sui generis]

2. anyone who says that bi people are "one thing or the other"

is a tiny brained idiot.

They want the world to be either black OR white, but no other color in between because they don't have room in their head for a lot of categories. Almost as funny as straight people telling gay people all about being gay - and some of them right here on DU!

I think everybody's "hot thoughts" change over time, regardless of what sex is the focus.

I am quite organized about my occasional internet wanderings and the folder names for my downloads tell it all. When I go back and look at some stuff that got me hot and bothered a month or two ago, today I go, "what was I thinking?", but if I delete it, maybe a month or two from now I'll go "what was I thinking?".

Just go with the flow - it's all good.

[Zhade]

4. Thanks, I feel the same way.

I find it outrageous when a gay man says "oh, you're really gay" - it's exactly as arrogant and WRONG as a straight (usually homophobic conservative) person saying "Oh, you're really straight" to a gay man!

I also find it amusing that your sigline coincidentally answers my posted question! :D

[liontamer]

3. on a related note

people tell me i'm "really" straight/gay based on their own issues

[Beaver Tail]

5. I would be under the impression that

Anyone’s feelings regardless if they are strait, gay or bi can ebb and flow. I have seen bisexual and gay people who can settle down for a long time and be happy with that person while I have seen some strait people hop from person to person (ebb and flow?).

It’s not really a good question to ask. Ebb and flow can be seen in all sexual orientations. It is not a matter of sexuality, but a matter of how happy you are in your life and how happy you are with that person you are having a relationship.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

6. This labelling issue - I was thinking about this earlier today

that a lot of gay men say, "oh, so-and-so is gay, I just know it because he (for example) has sex with men." Now, how ignorant is that? :eyes:

Uh, hello? Bisexuals have sex with men, too, you know. :D Knowing that someone has sex with men does not mean much of anything, in reality. Some men claim they have sex with men only for money, not because they enjoy it. Younger men can probably "fake" an erection because, of course, surging hormones make turtles seem attractive. Chemicals like Viagra make getting erections easier. So the point is that attraction to men is a separate axis from attraction to women.

That's all.

[Solar]

7. actually... yes

Even though I consider myself more of the gay end of the spectrum, there are some times when things shift over to the other side. I think I'd have to agree with liontamer. Our attractions shift depending on whats in front of us at the time.