Follow up about the young gay man form NC whose parents and school kicked him out

[Christa]

I posted this in GD as well, but it needs to be shouted from the rooftops.

GD link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7867625

Article:

Returning the car & my emotional breakdown(s)
by Florida4Obama
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Sun Mar 07, 2010 at 04:30:31 PM PST

If you've been following the story of my nephew and the ordeal that he has been through in the past several days, you know that yesterday we returned the car to his parents. The drive was long, but when we got there the family was civil to me and my friend for the most part. It is clear they are very hurt by their sons sexuality. I had an emotional breakdown of my own.

Please follow me below the fold for the full story.

* Florida4Obama's diary :: ::


My best friend Dena and I left for North Carolina right around midnight on Saturday morning. We were returning my nephew's car to his parents at their request. I know many here suggested we just leave it somewhere, but we couldn't do that. As far as my sister and her husband knew, we still thought we were picking up some of my nephew's belongings as well. The drive was long, and Dena did most of the drive so I could sleep.

We arrived in less than 11 hours. When I pulled up in front of the house, the circular driveway was full of cars. Upon entering the house, I encountered my despondent sister and her husband. With them were several couples from their church, and a few from their neighborhood. My sister immediately ran to me and hugged me and just burst into tears. She said, "How could this happen to our family?" Several ladies in the room helped me calm her down.

Just by doing a quick look around the first floor of their house, I noticed their oldest son's pictures were nowhere to be found with one exception. His senior picture was sitting on a table by itself with a candle beside it. If I didn't know better, I would've thought he had died in a tragic accident. My sister and her husband are obviously hurt, but their actions were more of grieving for a deceased child as opposed to finding out their child was gay.

Read here:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/3/7/843901/-Returning-the-carmy-emotional-breakdown%28s%29

Cold hearted, cruel and barbaric.


:mad:

This young man is being treated like a criminal because he was born gay.

[pleah]

1. That is truly sad.

K&R

:hug:

[Bluenorthwest]

2. You have a window into how the 'Christians' treat their own

Take a good long look. They hold their own children in contempt. That is, sadly, who these people are. Abusers wailing that they have been victimized, which is typical of that community. Extremely typical. The handful of decent people in that world are no longer decent, for they have spent decades holding coats for the haters, from Phelps to the parents of this kid.

[1776Forever]

3. Such a shame - I wonder how those "righteous" people feel about the gay King James:

The ignorance that some people hold that this boy is not "normal" is a true shame! Throughout history many gay men have contributed to our culture and lifestyle. Of course it plays into the good ole' boy mind control to not believe this is true but history bears it out! If anything the young man is more "normal" then they are!

The King James Bible is just one of these contributions:

'King James I'

http://www.greatsite.com/timeline-english-bible-history/king-james.html

With the death of Queen Elizabeth I, Prince James VI of Scotland became King James I of England. His name has become synonymous with the famous printing of the Bible that bears his name, the “King James Bible” of 1611 AD. He was one of the most intelligent Kings to reign over England, but his personal life made him the most controversial since his relative, King Henry VIII.


.......One area of the life of King James that for many years remained clouded in controversy was allegations that James was homosexual. As James did father several children by Anne of Denmark, it is actually more accurate to say that he was allegedly a bi-sexual. While his close relationships with a number of men were noted, earlier historians questioned their sexual nature, however, few modern historians cast any doubt on the King's bisexuality and the fact that his sexuality and choice of male partners both as King of Scotland then later in London as King of England were the subject of gossip from the city taverns to the Privy Council. His relationship as a teenager with fellow teenager Esmé Stuart, Earl of Lennox was criticized by Scottish Church leaders, who were part of a conspiracy to keep the young King and the young French courtier apart, as the relationship was improper to say the least. Lennox, facing threats of death, was forced to leave Scotland.

In the 1580s, King James openly kissed Francis Stewart Hepburn, Earl of Bothwell. Contemporary sources clearly hinted their relationship was a sexual one. When James inherited the English throne from Queen Elizabeth I in 1603, it was openly joked of the new English monarch in London that “Elizabeth was King: now James is Queen!” If there is still any doubt, it should be noted that George Villiers, also held an intimate relationship with King James, about which King James himself was quite open. King James called Villiers his “wife” and called himself Villiers' “husband”! King James died in 1625 of gout and senility. He is buried in the Henry VII chapel in Westminster Abbey, with one of his favorite male suitors on his right, and another on his left.

.............

:shrug:

[Vogon_Glory]

4. I've Followed This story on KOS

I followed this story on KOS. That poor kid; he's almost literally had his world destroyed. I am grateful that there are people like the aunt and her husband. She took him in, returned the car, and tried to retrieve his things from his religious-fanatic parents. If there ain't a place in heaven for the aunt, there sure ought to be.

What is scary is that for every story which has an ending like this one, there are probably at least a dozen more where things that turned out worse. The gay child got thrown out of school and out onto the street with no place to go; the girl lost her virginity or got pregnant and suffered a similar fate. There are the children forcibly hustled into so-called "treatment centers" to be "cured" of their homosexuality.

I shouldn't be surprised if a lot of teen suicides are provoked by similar circumstances.

I see myself as a religious person here. I am not slamming Christianity here (Or Judaism, or Islam, or...), but I'm reminded of the saying "God and I get along just fine; it's His fan clubs I have a problem with."

:grr:

[Christa]

5. They are following their Christ who said:

Matt.10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than Me, is not worthy of Me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than Me, is not worthy of Me.

Deut.21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them;

19. Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place:
20. And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you: and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Luke.14:26 If any man come to Me, and HATE not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, HE CANNOT BE MY DISCIPLE.

[Vogon_Glory]

7. That May Be Those Parents' Interpretation Of Scripture, But...

That may be those parents' interpretation of Scripture, but it's not mine. Nor will it stop me from praying for the outed-and-ousted nephew and his younger brother, who also needs sound counsel and hope.

[Laughing Mirror]

9. Deuteronomy is in the Old Testament, written before birth of Christ

How could he have said what you said he said?

[Christa]

13. So you believe

that Jesus was not with God and one with him, before he was born on earth?

:rofl:

[Laughing Mirror]

14. I have no religious beliefs

It's just that Christ doesn't appear in the Bible until the New Testament. He wasn't around during Deuteronomy.

[MuseRider]

6. I do not go to

nor do I belong to the website so I would like to ask you to send my deepest respect and regards to the woman who has provided her nephew with the unconditional love and support that he deserves as a wonderful and unique human being. This story is repeated day after day and many, if not most of the time the young person has no place to go. I am too sad to even cry over this now and just so happy that he has his wonderful Aunt who sees that his sexuality is part of him and that there is not a thing wrong with it. In fact it is just as joyous and wonderful as everyone thinks being heterosexual is. May she live a long happy and peaceful life and may his life now expand and grow until he finally reaches his goals and has his own wonderful and perfect family to share with her.

[jeremyfive]

8. Your Nephew Has a World of Options

Sometime loss can provide some additional freedom--where to live, where to go, who to associate with.

Your nephew is out of synch with is parents--there is nothing in their experience that has prepared them for a gay son. The church is definitely not helping, most having been taken over by hating zealots as they have in recent years.

I suggest you seek out PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays--wonderful people)--you might be able to find others to connect with--and to support you and your nephew, if not his parents, at least not right away.

For the most part, I have no respect for the corrupt state of the American church currently--I call them America's Christless Christians. The Church has fallen into a shabby state. The doors have been thrown open to bigotry. Unconditional love? Forget about it--the Church today is preoccupied with "taking specks out of everyone else's eye." The message has been lost.

[cecilfirefox]

10. I commend this aunt, however...

Had I been in that house I would have full on smotted those people, and destroyed the filth of books they gave you in front of them. I'd make it very, very clear to them- they are to have no contact whatsoever with him. It's really for his benefit, and your own. When is he a legal adult, or is he so know? You might want to try and take legal measures to separate him from them, so they can't try and swoop in and force him away to a pray the gay away camp. If I were you I'd perhaps get in touch with the ACLU or an LGBT advocacy group(Lambda legal, perhaps) to see if there are needed precautions to protect him.

Gods watch over you all,
)O(

And- may his parents be smotted.

- Cecilfirefox

[dsc]

11. It would be nice if Daily Kos weren't such a crappy site

I have tried about 20 times and still can't download the diary.

[dsc]

12. finally got to read the whole thing

and it is just so sad. It makes me see red to read about this kind of crap.

[StarlightGold]

15. All I know

is that I couldn't live with myself if I caused my child that kind of torment because of religion or anything else. I'll go hug my kids extra hard today!

[Meldread]

16. I've been following these diaries, and it just brings tears to my eyes.

I'm not much of a crier, but I've gotten a little misty eyed every time I've read those diaries. My heart breaks for him. I wish I could give him all the love that his parents are trying to deny him. I have nothing but love and thanks in my heart for what the aunt has done.

I don't have children of my own, but I do have two nephews and perhaps another nephew (or a niece) soon. I wish they were here right now, because I want to give them a firm hug and tell them how much I love them. I hope if anything like this should come to pass in my family, that I'd be able to do as this aunt has done. I'd do it in a heart beat, no matter the sacrifice. That is what family is for... much e-love to them all.

I hope he can get through this tough time, as it sounds like he has a bright future ahead of him. I worry about depression and setbacks. He's on a tough emotional ride and needs all the support he can get to keep him focused on his own future. Now is a time to look forward and not backward. If his parents come to terms it will be on their own.

Hopefully he will be able to get into a good college of his choice.

[offog]

17. Best wishes to you and your nephew!

I suggest that your nephew try checking out the Soulforce website. (Someone there actually posted a link to your original post a few days ago.) Soulforce is a site for GLBT people and their allies. Once you join, you can start posting right away. A lot of people post personal stories, including stories about coming out, and also asking for advice with their personal lives. It's one of my favorite sites because the people there are so nice and supportive.

I'm a middle-aged straight woman who's had a membership at my city's gay club since 2004. I've met a lot of great people there, including some very nice young men. I never had kids, but if I had a son (or nephew) who turned out like some the young fellows I've met at the club, I wouldn't have too many complaints.

I'm disturbed by your sister's reaction of "How could this happen to our family?" It implies that kids who are "raised right" aren't supposed to turn out gay.

I hope your nephew is going to be okay. Despite the hard time he's having now, it's probably not as bad a fate as becoming a self-loathing closet-case or "ex-gay". I commend his courage, and yours.

[offog]

18. Follow up ....

It took a couple of tries, but I finally got through to The Daily KOS link. I can't believe the way the parents are treating your nephew. You really gotta keep those people away from him.

I agree with the person who said you should look into legal options to protect your nephew. I too worry about your sister, her husband, and their friends "swooping in" to take him someplace to get "cured".

I am so impressed with the way you are sticking up for your nephew. As for those "breakdowns", I figure you're holding up pretty well, all things considered. How did you turn out to be so cool while your sister turned out to be such an anti-gay fanatic?

[donco6]

19. I used to work in a fundie church.

And I've seen a lot of gay rejection, but NOTHING compares to this. Giving away all his stuff? WTF? Hideous, evil people who should burn in hell, if there were one.

[Mad_Dem_X]

20. My God...I have no words.

How could a family treat one of their own this way? It's unfathomable to me. I feel so fortunate that I grew up in a liberal household. My heart goes out to this boy.