Mean Girls: Why Can’t Lesbians All Just Get Along?

[kweerwolf]

When I launched my column about lesbian life, e-mails from readers seeking solace started filling my inbox. Many lamented how the prominent lesbian support networks are power petty and treacherous in this town. Below the rosebud tattoos there is a pierced seedy underbelly. It’s a lesbian-eat-lesbian world out there, and not in a good way.

I’m not saying that divisiveness among women is a lesbian phenomenon. I used to run in straight circles and witnessed plenty of gossiping and backstabbing hetero women, but shouldn’t we be more evolved as lesbians?

<snip>

So why do lesbians, and women in general, often attack each other and knock each other off the ladder of success? Why do we take aim at other lesbians like poor Jenny in the shooting gallery on the L Word?

I believe it is because society teaches us early on to be competitive with each other; to make sure if we reach the top that no other woman is near to threaten us. In contrast, men — both gay and straight — tend to surround themselves with the old boys club. They understand that real strength is assured not only by personal integrity but also by sticking together — and men don’t waste time being catty about each other.

http://www.laindependent.com/default.asp?sourceid=&smenu=108&twindow=&mad=No&sdetail=2260&wpage=1&skeyword=&sidate=&ccat=&ccatm=&restate=&restatus=&reoption=&retype=&repmin=&repmax=&rebed=&rebath=&subname=

Wow! Being a gay man, I can't comment on how true all that is in lesbian-land ... but boy is she off base when she says gay men "don't waste time being catty with each other." She sure hasn't been in some of the chatrooms I've been in. Meeee-OW!

[Boomer]

1. Get a grip, we're nasty primates

Why can't we just get along?

Because we're related to baboons and chimps and other group-oriented primates that spend all day bickering and bucking for incremental social climbing. If primates could talk, they'd be exchanging the small petty, vicious gossip that you'll find in any group.

Because the lesbian community is just like a small town, and as anyone who has grown up in a small town knows, there is no slight too minor to spark a social flamewar, no transgression that can be kept a secret.

It doesn't matter if you're queer, a Star Trek fan, an opera lover, or a football fan -- you're going to find yourself in a group of people who gossip and back-stab with the best of them.

If there's one thing I've learned in my 50 years of being queer, lesbians are just as wonderful, just as mundane, or just as horrendous as other human beings.