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Gays and Lesbians: 'You're wrong!'

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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 07:12 PM
Original message
Gays and Lesbians: 'You're wrong!'
I'm using this forum to vent over a hard phone call I had with my RW fundie mother a few minutes ago. My hands are still shaking.

It doesn't matter what rights you will gain when gay marriage is legalized (I believe it's coming and nothing will stop it...may take years, though) It doesn't matter the children you adopt and share together will be better protected with it. It doesn't matter that you are as human as anyone else and have the same hopes and dreams. It doesn't matter who you love or for how long. It doesn't matter. It's wrong.

It doesn't matter how kind, gentle, loving, caring and all those wonderful virtues many of us possess, it's wrong.

This from my mother. Even though we as a society have done away with slavery, the bible tells its readers how to take care of their slaves. Even though we no longer stone women for adultery, the bible proclaimed it as righteous punishment up until Jesus said otherwise. Even though, Jesus himself never once discussed homosexuality, you are wrong.

She doesn't care about your rights, your needs, your wishes, hopes or dreams.

I am profoundly disturbed by this conversation I had with her and I believe our relationship has been altered by it. I have never known anyone who is so strongly opposed to gays, lesbians and their families. To me she was saying: You shouldn't exist.

This discussion with her will stay with me for a long time. 'It's wrong' keeps echoing over and over because she kept repeating it no matter what I said.

I know I shouldn't apologize for her, but I can't help it. I am sorry people like this are so determined to deny basic human rights to you. It's wrong.
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msongs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
1. do you believe it's right? then tell yourself that and change the meme
to "my mother is wrong and I am ok with that" that is if you can stand up to your mother :-)

Your mother is operating from fear.

Msongs
www.msongs.com/impeachbush.htm
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CatBoreal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 07:16 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hugs...
She's the one who's wrong.

Stay strong.

Light, Love and Laughter to you and yours.
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GeorgeBushytail Donating Member (862 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 07:16 PM
Response to Original message
3. Churches that discriminate against gays are like segregated restaurants
Edited on Mon Sep-05-05 07:17 PM by GeorgeBushytail
I would never use one.

What does your mother think about divorced people? Jesus had nothing to say about homosexuality but he ranted against divorce a couple times.


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Siyahamba Donating Member (890 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-05 12:47 AM
Response to Reply #3
10. Some LGBT are able to tough it out and be part of discriminating churches
I would find it very uncomfortable - it's kind of like being a Log Cabin Republican.
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Waya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
4. You know....
we have a saying: .... What you do not know (understand)
you will fear. What one fears one destroys...

~Chief Dan George~

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rurallib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
5. Sounds like a good reason to make passionate love
with your lover. Afterwards hold a middle finger to the sky and say "that one was for my mother" or some other soul quenching statement.
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damntexdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 09:40 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'm sorry your mother said such things to you.
I hope you will be able to mend your relationship with her sometime in the future -- a mother is still a mother, as poorly as she is acting now.
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Occulus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-05 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #6
11. never ever think that
Edited on Tue Sep-06-05 12:51 AM by kgfnally
Seriously. There is nothing inherent about having a parent that requires you to respect that parent.

My mom literally threw me out in the rain, at night, when she found out about me being gay. This, after graduating high school with a 3.86 GPA, both NHS cords, and more music honors than I can name.

My mom is and always will be a coldhearted, unloving bitch, and the ONLY reason I even maintain the veneer of a relationship with her is because of what she'll leave behind her when she's a cold corpse. But I'm being redundant.

This bitch- no offense to female dogs the world over- ruined my college education for me, too. I have no doubt; my father sat silent through the whole thing.

No, I have very, very little love for my mom at this point. I do not respect her, and in fact ina great many ways I hate her, and wish our lives had never crossed paths.

By the way- the bitch didn't bring me into the world; I was adopted. Yeah. Couple people decided to take in a kid until they were tired of him, or something. After telling me they picked me out because they loved me...

Right. People who love each other don't throw them out into the rain, deny them THEIR CAR, and do it without warning. People who love each other don't ruin the other's future, however bright it may be at the time. People who love each other don't give IOUs as birthday gifts, and then renege on them, even years later. Even after reminders.

No, there is nothing at all about being or having a parent that engenders or requires respect just because there's a parent there. SOME parents, like mine, are toxic and to be reviled and disrespected right into their graves.
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closeupready Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-05 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
7. Today, I spoke with the lady at the corner store. She's lesbian, apparent
apparently, because she spoke of her "partner" (who she later called her "honey"), and "she" thinks this, and "she" said that, and I realized, "Oh, she's in a lesbian relationship." And I briefly met her son, who - she told me - she "decided" to have (artificial insemination, perhaps?).

And I feel now like that is just so pervserse, being kind of coy like that. Shouldn't she be, like, MARRIED? To her lesbian "partner"? Partner is something John Wayne has. She should be able to speak of her wife. Period. Unless she doesn't WANT to get married, of course - but why wouldn't she?

Anyway, that's my story of the day.
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Siyahamba Donating Member (890 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-05 12:45 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. For lack of a better term...
I know the feeling - "partner" sounds like we're in a law firm together, "boyfriend" sounds rather temporary for someone with whom I've been in a relationship for five years, "significant other" is a big mouthful to say all the time...
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moose65 Donating Member (525 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-05 08:23 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. We need to think up our own term!
I still can't call my partner my "husband" because to me, that's a hetero term, and it sounds kinda silly coming out of a man's mouth. "Partner" is so detached and business-like. "Spouse" sounds legalistic and clinical. "Boyfriend" is too high-schoolish. "significant other" is just too much. "Lover" is too intimate. oh well, I guess "partner" is the best we can do right now!
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-05 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
8. I'm very sorry. My mom had a hard time excepting it when I told her
(I was 35) but she came to accept it. When she died a decade later, my partner was her favorite son/daughter-in-law of the four she had! Whiule she was never pleased that I was gay, she grew to be very supportive. Moms can be like that.

Give her time. She may never change but then again she may. Only time will tell. Don't give into her but don't hate her either.
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