Most shameful of all -- besides, of course, his parents' practical
cheerleading over their gay son taking his own life (better dead than gay) -- is the blackout on talking about him.
See, there's a stunningly powerful contingent running this town, and I've been trying to get through to these people for years -- at city council meetings, in emails, in letters, in LTTEs, in blog posts, in impromptu sound bites on three different local TV stations -- trying to make them see what
they did to kill Stuart, how they
made him blow his brains out on the temple steps -- and what they continue to do to kill all of us, slowly...
But that's pretty difficult when the goddamned
mayor is also a bishop in the local stake. Harder still when he and his ilk are obscenely rich, and own, and control, half the town.
Thus, the blackout on talking about Stuart.
But even knowing this, I spoke to him -- the mayor -- and continue to speak to him, directly, in public, in print, in pixels, on television.
It doesn't make a damned bit of difference -- he continues to pour untold thousands into anti-gay hate campaigns -- but I do it anyway, in whatever medium is available to me.
I beg everyone's forgiveness for, again, linking my own blog posts, but they're relevant -- and while I never knew Stuart (and maybe that's what motivates me: if only I
had, maybe I could have have talked the gun out of his hand), his suicide has haunted me for more than a decade.
And if I don't just post links, then I will be compelled, in my usual, obsessive, verbose way, to explain it all over again, and risk hijacking a fine thread (even more than I have already).
Here's my experience with Stuart -- whom I never met, and who will never know how much he inspires me to speak my truth, even when my voice shakes:
Los Altos, CA: Red Island in the Middle of a Blue SeaFebruary 25, 2006
Latest from Los AltosFebruary 26, 2006
Lawyers We Love… And One We Don’t (or: Los Altos Gets Another Well-Deserved Slap)March 8, 2006
Gavin Newsom Shames Los Altos (Good!)March 9, 2006
Pride Parade in Bigotville, USAApril 15, 2006
Ex-Los Altos, CA, Mayor, Incurably Anti-Gay Mormon Ron Packard Propagates Prop 8 Propaganda on PBSMay 24, 2009
How Much Land Underneath Your Town Do the Mormons Own?July 10, 2009
Letter To A MormonApril 24, 2010
Again, all, please forgive me if I've done any hijacking. I didn't mean to. This just brings up a lot that I can't contain, and is not resolved.
I wonder just one thing: Stuart's parents... They seem so relieved by his suicide. By their beliefs, shouldn't he be in hell? They
want their son to be in hell? Does their belief in his eternal suffering somehow abate their guilt -- or, somehow, earn them a planet all the nearer to Kolob?