Looking for a reality check here?

[benburch]

I am an out kinky bisexual man.

Over the last two years there has been a person who has been attacking me based on my kinkiness and my bisexuality. He has peddled this hate speech to the freepers, too, who were delighted with it. When I call him a homophobe, he tells me to "stop pretending to be gay", which in itself I find to be homophobic. Am I just way off-base here? I don't really think so, as it really feels like homophobia to me. It certainly is hate speech.

[pepperbear]

1. attacking you based on

your "kinkiness and bisexuality"? no, your antagonist is tye one who is way off base. are you adversely affecting his pursuit happiness by being bi and kinky? I would think not, so YES, his BS is coming froma homophobic place.

A side note, my fave gfreep thing is 9and I have seen variations on this thought):

"whenever we say we don't approve of homosexuality, we're labelled as homophobes"

well, uh, um, YEAH, IF THE FRICKIN SHOE FITS....

[Deep13]

2. Doesn't sound like it.

If he goes out of his way to ridicule you in public, then he really is out of line. Of course, I can understand someone feeling uncomfortable by too much unsolicited information, but that is not what you have described. I don't see why he can't just do his thing and let you do yours. Oh, yeah, it's because his thing is spreading hate.

[hwmnbn]

3. Hi benburch.......

Can't you just put him/her on the ignore list here? And who cares what the freepers think? Unless threats have been made personally to you, then it's a different story, maybe one for the authorities.

And if its any consolation, I'll help you however I can. I'm sure most DUers feel the same, so you aren't alone. Since I don't know the details that's all I'll say.

Except for I appreciate your website and for your service to the Camp Casey deal in Crawford. That's where I first learned of you.

[elehhhhna]

4. ben, my theory:

the closet cases are the most loud & vehement guys when it comes to calling out gay men. They want y'all back in the closet with them so they have a bigger pool of undercover men to troll.

Seriously.

[Dr.Phool]

7. Start telling him to quit acting straight.

That should really frost his balls.

[benburch]

10. You assume he HAS any balls!

:rofl:

[kweerwolf]

5. There's still a lot of 'bi-phobia' out there ...

I have certainly heard it from gays who don't believe there is such a thing as bisexuality except as a term for closeted gay men who want to hang onto an appearance of heterosexuality ... kind of comparable to light-skinned African-Americans who "passed" as white in the 1950s.

It's only a guess, but I think a big part of this comes from married men who have sex with other men and label themselves as "bi" as a sort of transitional phase as they move toward taking a "gay" identity. I've know plenty of guys who use that as a model for explaining bisexuality and claim that most guys who claim to be bi are either in denial or lying to the rest of the world. It sounds like your acquaintance is in this camp, unfortunately.

Bi-phobia is ever bit as toxic as homophobia, though, and bashing bi folk for their orientation is every bit as wrong as gay bashing.

As for "kink-phobia," I'm pretty vanilla, but I can understand that people express sexual desires in a wide range of ways. Eh ... I figure if it's between two consenting adults and doesn't involve kids or animals, it's no one's business.

[benburch]

9. No kids, animals, blood drinking, golden anythings, or scat...

And that is pretty much my limits.

[ronnykmarshall]

11. No scat???

Ah hell .... I was getting ready to ask you out on a wild night of hot horny sex and listening to my Ella CD's!

[benburch]

12. LOL!!!

That was funny!

[ronnykmarshall]

13. Scooobe dop dow, scwwweeeeeeeeeee!!

[mongo]

6. If this is the person you have posted about before

I would start researching the legal basis for a defamation of character lawsuit. This person has said some untrue and damaging things about you.

[benburch]

8. Yep, same guy.

Isn't he a gem? And I really do think he is a homophobe. Of the worst sort, too; The type that claims to love and respect gay people. The sort that might say "I have a lot of gay friends, but..."