I have a question. Are the Holidays tough for GLBT people who don't have accepting families?

[bluestateguy]

I just wonder if this is a tough time of year for GLBT people if they should happen to have family members who are anti-gay. Or for gay people who are closeted because their family would not be accepting, and then having to lie about personal relationships when everybody gets together for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I can imagine that this must be a very hard thing for gay people who partake in family get-togethers for the holidays.

[MadMaddie]

1. Most Holiday's are

In my case my family knows and hers doesn't. So for the Holiday's we both go to our own parents. Christmas will be like this. We talk every day when we are seperated....

Happy Holiday's to everyone!
MadMaddie

[DesertFlower]

3. happy holiday to you.

[MadMaddie]

7. Thank you!

[BR_Parkway]

5. We did that for the first 10 years, then I said screw it - if they have a problem

with it, then they have a problem - not us. Now we spend our time together and most of the ones who had a problem have gotten past it or just don't come around - either way was fine with me.

[RetiredTrotskyite]

9. Yep...

In the end, I told my mum I was marrying a woman and to deal with it--and she did. She even attended our wedding and accepted my wife as her daughter-in-law. It is the families' problem, not that of GLBT people.

[RetiredTrotskyite]

8. That Is So Sad...

Hugs from my wife and me and wishes for the day you can visit your families together.

[Citizens_United]

10. I know how that feels.

Only difference for me is that both sets of parents knew and they were both very disapproving. Makes for a very uncomfortable evening. So, we spend time apart during the holidays.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

14. Hugs!

:hug: I'm so sorry that their prejudice forces y'all to he apart during a time of year where everyone is talking about family and "love and peace." :eyes:

[DesertFlower]

2. my friend went through that for years.

his mother and sister were okay with him being gay, but his dad wasn't. neither were his 3 "born again" brothers. his dad would always make snide remarks.

then at the request of his sister, his dad gave in and agreed to meet his SO of 20 years. they actually got along. about 2 years later my friend died. i'm getting chills talking about it. his picture is here right next to my computer.

i'm happy that things were good between him and his dad before he died.

[applegrove]

4. vibes to all the GLBT kids on this weekend.

[Rhythm]

6. I'm fortunate that Lyric's mom is welcoming, because mine isn't

We entertain Lyric's family here in north-central WV, rather than going to NC to see my relatives, because Lyric's mom and stepdad treat us the same as they do her married-with-kids younger brother.

If we went down south, the best we could expect from most of my relatives would be to not be insulted directly to our faces... some wouldn't be able to contain themselves. Others would think that they were doing God's will by trying to shame us.

Fuck 'em... i'll stay up here where i am loved and respected.

[stopschoolpaddling]

11. I don't have a partner. Wish I had this problem..

That would be awesome! I would not give a damn what anybody, family member or not, thought.
Anyway, we are not celebrating this year.

[dickthegrouch]

12. I simply refused to join them until I was accepted

My parents were actually, mostly, accepting. However, one of the very first things my Dad told me after I came out (at 16) was "Don't ever bring anyone here". I took him at his word and removed myself too, for about 30 years. I still won't spend Christmas there. But my partner came to my Mom's 80th birthday recently and, to my utter astonishment, was calling her by her first name before even 2 hours had passed. (I've never done that, she had to told him to).

[One_Life_To_Give]

13. Like anyone else who has trouble with family

As a group GLBT's have a higher than average rate of strained familial relationships, I suspect. Having seen how families can react to a different Race, Religion, Ethnicity. At a fundamental level I am not sure there is a difference regardless of the dispute centering over Age, Sex, Race, Ethnicity or Religion of a loved one.

[plantwomyn]

15. Mom has been a "den mother" for decades.

Since the late 70's my mom has invited all of the unaccepted to her home for the holidays. This Thanksgiving, we had three singles and a couple who have been together for 22 years! My wifes mom and dad moved here to be closer to her and her gay brother. They came to mom's too! Two turkeys and two bottles of vodka!
I can't tell you how many LGBT brothers and sisters have told me how they wish their family was like mine. Mom has held many in her arms to let them cry on her shoulder. She has socked up alot of pain from the unwanted and unloved over the years.

I am blessed beyond words. :grouphug:

[TexasObserver]

16. I have a relative it's really hard on.

She and her long time partner have vastly different families. Our family is gay friendly and openly welcome the couple for our holiday gatherings. We have gay friends who are always at our functions. The partner's family is not that way, however. The partner has to attend alone.