An interesting interview with Dan Savage

[dsc]

http://www.salon.com/life/sex_education/index.html?story=/news/feature/2011/08/16/dan_savage_interview

One of the very powerful takeaways is this

One of the things I like about your podcast so much is you do spend a lot of time talking to people outside urban elite areas -- you spent a lot of time last year talking about Constance McMillen, for example – where life for gays hasn't evolved that quickly.

One of the things that was a wake-up call for me last year before the "It Gets Better" campaign -- why we launched it, my husband and I -- was when I was sort of unaware how bad it was getting out there. You know, in the Greensburg, Indianas, and the Topachakees, Californias, where Constance McMillen was. What I didn't realize before those suicides opened my eyes, was that as it was getting better in New York or San Francisco or Seattle, it was getting worse out in the sticks, out in mega-church land. Because those of us who are out and urban and fully integrated into our work lives and families, our existence has made it impossible for queer 14-year-olds to fly under the radar in a Greensburg.

When I was a kid, and I was odd, the default assumption was that I was odd, not that I was gay. Now when a kid is odd in a Greensburg, gay or straight, the default assumption is gay. Because my job requires me to be in constant communication with people all over the country who are writing in to "Savage Love," calling the podcast, I think I'm a little more conscious of what's going on out there in the boonies -- but even I didn't see that. And that's a bitter pill for those of us my age to swallow. Us out there leading our lives and being successful have actually kind of made it worse for 14-year-old gay kids in Greensburg, Ind.

end of quote

I think that is a very deep insight. It is one of the reasons that the DADT version of being a teacher worked out so poorly in my case. Kids, who otherwise would just consider me a reticent teacher, instead consider that me as a single man who wouldn't answer the are you gay inquiry was likely gay. I think the same notion happens with odd kids. It is really a cruel irony that our success leads to the making worse of lives for gays in small towns. Read the rest of the interview it is worthwhile.

[closeupready]

1. I'm not buying that line of argument.

I haven't read the rest of the interview (I will), but just saying, put the blame where it lies - with Christian fundamentalists, bigots and homophobes, NOT with us in NY and SF who have improved our lives and the lives of all gay people who live in proximity to our more liberal places.

Okay, there is also this:

>>Well, made it worse, but that's part of progress, right?

Absolutely. I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't have lived this way, or we shouldn't have come out. And the people who are most responsible for making it worse are of course anti-gay politicians and anti-gay preachers, and parents, teachers and peers who are persecuting these kids. But we've created a kind of hyper-awareness about sexuality and sexual orientation that has let to hyper-scrutiny about those things, in places where people weren't on the lookout for it before. Everybody's on the lookout for it now.<<

That makes more sense, though I'm still not sure I agree with his argument.

[dsc]

2. He does put the blame there

I just couldn't quote anymore of the interview.

[closeupready]

3. Right, I did see that after reading it.

:hi:

[dsc]

4. I guess what got me thinking of this was an activity we did at my opening for school

We did this color personality test (gold, green, blue, orange) where we took the test and then had to go into our groups. I was split just about evenly between blue and green with me being the only male in a very large staff who would have been blue ( a feelings type personality). If that had happened to me back in the day I would have been mortified but I don't think I would have been thought by all to be gay. Now I think if that happens to a boy that would be the first thought.

[urbuddha]

7. Agree with closeupready's post

That pretty much sums it up.

[beyurslf]

5. I get what he is saying.

I worked with a young man about 15yo who was very effeminate. He said he was not gay and attracted to girls. He also said he had a hard time meeting girls because they assumed he was gay and wanted to be friends. He didn't so much say people were mean--just all the girls wanted him to be their "gay" friend.

[eridani]

6. People seem not to have a clue that where you are on the masculine/feminine appearance scale

--has nothing whatsoever to do with sexual orientation.

[marginlized]

8. How many of your students are asking about your SO?

DSC, your comment only makes me wonder what grade you're teaching. I can't remember ever asking any teacher about their sexual orientation. Perhaps this only proves Savage's comment about the culture becoming hyper aware. But these comments aren't referencing other contributors, for example, the media.

Sex sells, right? Pundits are fond of pointing out that the Bible Belt likes its marriage heterosexual while it leads country in divorce. That it rails against pornography while having a large appetite for it. And Rupert Murdoch is right there selling both.

Its naive to think that any sort of political change isn't going to produce reaction or push back somewhere else. So assuming any sort of blame for the reaction to progress on LGBT political issues is misplaced guilt. Its not about you this time.

[William769]

9. K&R.