One of my coworkers invited me to her church on Friday

[dsc]

and the thing is I have no idea if she knows I am gay. I looked the church up and while I suspect it would not be welcoming of gays it doesn't say one way or the other. I have no real desire to go to her church but the thing is, was it up to me to say to her I am gay before taking her card in regards to the church? I guess I am wondering about the etiquitte of the situation.

[rsmith6621]

1. Your a Test Project...

Your Going to Be Their Pray Away the Gay Test Hamster....:sarcasm: Just say NO!!!

[JRinMI]

33. You laugh, but it literally happened to me...

My advice: don't get involved with such nutters, unless you want to invite a little weirdness into your life.
I came out of the closet back in the 90's in rural SW Arkansas, which has a church on every corner, that sort of place... Well, my seemingly sweet cousin-in-law invited me to a "get-together," even offering good food but no mention of prayer. Being a growing young man, the offer of food got my attention, so I went. When I arrived the woman who was hosting had a front room FILLED with nutty Christian fundies who had heard that I was gay. AMBUSH! They literally locked me in and proceeded to "pray away the gay," talked in tongues, even tried to shove me over with one of those ridiculous "You Are Saved!" smacks to the forehead. Being so young, naive and unaware at the time that such people existed, I was polite and let them do their thing for HOURS!!! Worst...dinner party...EVER!!

[flyingfysh]

2. why not just say no?

Just say "no thanks, I'm not interested" and leave it at that. You don't have to give any reasons at all.

[gateley]

3. Just say "I'm Catholic". That worked very well for me when

I lived in the South -- they couldn't get away from me fast enough, and never asked me again!

[izquierdista]

13. Inviting people to church -- a Southern thing

The etiquette is to (1) turn it around and invite her to your church, one that you really like and that conflicts with the time she goes to church, or (2) say "I'm not really religious" which opens you up to daily (or more often) proselytizing, or (3) say "I'm Jewish" (works better than Catholic), or (4) admit to being born overseas and being a Druze, which is a closed faith from which you cannot convert.

[Taverner]

4. Why would you want to go to church?

Sunday morning? That's ME TIME!!!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. What denomination is it?

Most of them are pretty forthright about their position on that issue. If it's one of the evangelical denominations, or a Catholic church, they will not be especially welcoming. Episcopalians, Lutherans (ELCA), Unitarians, probably most Methodists and Presbyterians, will be OK.

[dsc]

7. It is called the Raleigh Assembly

seems to be non denominational.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

15. Hoo boy. They are Assemblies of God and NOT gay-friendly.

Not at all. Very fundy. :scared:

[foo_bar]

22. be very afraid.

Assemblies of God aren't non-denominational, they're pretty far right Pentacostalists, with all that entails:

http://www.raleighassembly.com/contact-us/
http://m.yp.com/memphis-tn/mip/raleigh-assembly-of-god-11038315

Homosexuality is both a sin against God and mankind. It runs contrary to the divine plan, purpose, and will of God who created us in His image (Genesis 1:27) and redeemed us so that this image, marred because of sin, might be renewed (Colossians 3:10). Most fundamentally, homosexuality is sin because it perverts the created order of human sexuality, the heterosexual fulfillment of both man and woman (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). In creating the first man and woman, God ultimately established the family consisting of a father, a mother, and eventually children. Society is founded on this social unit which propagates the human race. In total contrast, the lifestyle and practice of homosexual couples establish a social unit that thwarts that process and the creative purposes of God for humanity.

...

One of the myths propounded by pro-homosexual advocates is that homosexual orientation is genetically determined and that people have no choice in the matter. There is no scientific evidence to support this claim. Linking a particular behavior with a specific gene is considered highly unlikely by geneticists. Some would like to believe this myth, for it could be used to excuse all sin and evil behavior. In contrast, ministers and psychologists are treating homosexuality with success, which further discredits the genetic theory. The fact that God’s transforming power has changed the lifestyle of many homosexuals is well documented.

http://ag.org/top/beliefs/relations_11_homosexual.cfm

[Kerrytravelers]

23. I checked out their website. Yikes!

The list of sermon titles had me running for a bucket. :vomit:

Run. Run. Run. Run very fast!

[Kerrytravelers]

6. How did the invitation come about?

[dsc]

9. We have the same planning period and she walked into my room and asked

she is new from last year and may or may not know I am gay.

[Kerrytravelers]

11. Wow. I'd never walk into a co-workers room and ask them to go to church.

Well, ok, I'm an atheist, but in theory, I'd never walk into a co-workers room and ask them to go to the Friday night baby-eating and church burning service with me.

I wonder if she is just kind of naive about co-worker conduct or if she has an agenda.

Let us know what happens.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

20. If this is the South, people do invite you to their church.

I think it's as weird as hell, and kind of invasive (I think one's spiritual beliefs, or lack thereof, are personal and none of anybody else's business), but it seems to be more common in the South for people to be nosy about your religion, and to try to convert you to theirs.

[Kerrytravelers]

21. That is certainly true.

When we visit family in the South, they always ask about church and which one I'm going to, etc. Boy, do I evade those questions!

[CC]

8. If I weren't interested in going

I would just say no thanks. If pressed I would state that I don't mix religion and profession.

[marginlized]

10. Apparently you've never discussed your orientation yet,

So why would you think it's gonna come up in church? If you're not that open with this person, why feel guilty about just saying "no"?

[Cleita]

12. Call up the church office and ask them what their

policy is towards gays. I don't think it's something they will hide whether favorable or unfavorable. If they believe that being gay is a sin and the devil's work, then you will know that your friend probably doesn't know or thinks she can change you if she does know. If they welcome gays, then I don't see a problem.

[Kurska]

14. If you're not interested just say no.

Even if they were gay friendly, would you have any interest in going? It seems like you indicated you wouldn't, so politely decline and move on IMHO.

[bluestateguy]

16. If it is non-denominational it could go either way

Being as how you are in the South (?) I would not be optimistic.

[El Supremo]

17. If it is an Assembly of God church I'd run.

Fundamental Pentecostal. Speaking in tongues and snakes!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

18. Run away. Assemblies of God churches are not gay-friendly.

They are downright hostile, in fact. Think of a polite excuse and beg off.

[pinto]

19. My take - You can always say "Thanks, I can't make it." or some such.

And leave it at that. :hi:

[rocktivity]

24. The etiquette of the situation depends on how "out" you are at work

If telling her you were gay would spread around the office like a wildfire and get you demoted, accused of sexual harrassment or even fired, and you don't really want to go anyway, then politely refuse. Or you could return the favor to by invting her to a local gay event or meeting!

:headbang:
rocktivity

[dsc]

26. I am pretty out at work

but it is a really big school so it is possible that she doesn't know I am gay even as both the other floors I worked on did. I had figured this was an anti gay church but I don't want her to feel like an ass now that she invited me.

[Kerrytravelers]

27. You can just say that something in your personal life came up and you need to cancel.

That should keep her from prying (Southern politeness and all :) ) and you've avoided this really awkward situation.

And then, when she asks again, shucks! You already made plans. Shucky-darn!

[goddess40]

25. RUN...

When someone that doesn't know you that well asks you to go to their church it's the time to run in the opposite direction.

I would never issue a personal invite to my church, I'm a uu'er, unless I had some idea that the person was leaning that direction.

[Rowdyboy]

28. No big deal.....If you were to attend her church you likely won't be having sex while you're there..

so it really doesn't matter much (if I'm wrong, let me know the denomination). Hell, if she's Episcopalian, Unitarian or Quaker you might have a good time with some interesting people. Otherwise, just thank her perfunctorily and forget it.

[closeupready]

29. I'd probably say something like, "Let me think it over, and get back to you."

And then, 'forget' to get back to her.

[FreeState]

30. I say go with her

Do a little research on the church and go. When she ask you later you can inform her how you feel, she asked you to go, so she obviously wants to have some feed back. Be honest and educate her as to why your not interested. You never know, you might help her see things diffently when it comes to gay people.

[dsc]

31. update

I misremembered the name of the church. It is Raleigh first assembly www.raleighfirst.org and it doesn't directly say but it has to be pretty anti gay. So either she invited me knowing I am gay or was ignorant of the fact. Ah well, I'll just say a nice no thanks and move on. She will likely know soon since lunch room is now shared and all kinds of stuff come up in lunch conversations.

[William769]

32. Just my two cents.

Maybe she just wanted to invite you to church. Nothing more, nothing less.

[lunasun]

34. did u read the what we believe section of the website???? run away next chance meeting

[NMMNG]

35. You could always tell her you have your own church

and that while you appreciate her invite you aren't interested in switching. Hopefully that will end it.

[dsc]

36. problem is that is the first question she asked

and I honestly said I didn't.