Is anyone the only out person at their place of work

[dsc]

Do you ever just get tired? I admit that lately I just am getting worn down as close friends have left my school and I have moved to a very different workroom than I have been used to. I know this sounds kind of whiny but I feel sort of isolated. So I guess I am asking for some advice like our rural people were a few weeks ago.

[RKP5637]

1. K&R!!! n/t

[closeupready]

2. I'm not sure what your question is. When you say you are tired,

do you mean you feel isolated at work? Frankly, in most places I've worked, I've never sought to socialize with anyone else, as on a personal level, I really don't like to mix business/pleasure.

[yardwork]

4. I think he's talking about how exhausting it is to be the only one of a disenfranchised minority.

[closeupready]

5. Oh, yeah. I know that feeling VERY well. Part of the reason

in fact, that - as I stated in another thread here last week - I socialize only with gay people. If my life could be 24/7 gay people, that's how I'd arrange it. Obviously, in rural areas, that's going to be difficult, if not impossible. Likewise, for those whose careers depend upon mixing socially with a diversity of people - even those one is disinclined to like - that's not really an option.

Having come from that kind of milieu, there is no way I could go back to it and survive, and you have my sympathy if the lack of associates/kindred spirits is getting you down. All the more reason to come here and share with us! :hi: :)

[dsc]

11. yeah that was pretty much it

[WillParkinson]

3. I'm not the only one out at work, but...

I'm the only gay person on my shift so have limited interaction with other people who I can talk with about outside-the-job stuff.

And you're wrong...it doesn't sound whiny at all. Unfortunately the best I can give is a :hug: and hope you can find an answer.

[dickthegrouch]

6. Even in Sunny Silicon Valley

It can sometimes feel like it. We have 2600+ staffers in a high tech office in Silicon Valley and I attempted to have an LGBT lunch yesterday. Three people sent their regrets and two joined the 'party'. Still, that's 200% better than the last one, where I sat on my own for 90 minutes :)

We're going to hold them every two weeks from now on.

I know your situation is much different, dsc. However I still remember how isolated I was as a high schooler in a rural district. Just knowing you are there is a comfort to plenty of your students, if my experience in HS was typical (where I knew no-one else, although I discovered that my best friend was also gay 10 years later, but he considered me too outspoken at the time, so kept quiet).

[Creideiki]

7. I'm the only out person in my relative small work group

However, teaching is going to be much, much worse--where I was the only out teacher at a school with a homoophobic administration, homophobic parents, homophobic students, and constant reprisals and petty vandalism which were never punished because clearly, the homophobic vandals were only giving me the punishment that I deserved because I don't conform to heteronorms.

Best advice is that if you're in a relationship, just slip your partner's name into casual conversation just like I hear everyday about their partners, children, and everything.

[dsc]

12. I don't have it nearly as bad as you did

thanks for reminding me to keep stuff in perspective. No matter how tired I get I should remember that I am lucky to live in 2011 and not another era.

[Creideiki]

13. Yes. 2006-2008 were ancient times.

What you're probably lucky about is that your administration isn't filled with douchebags.

[Amimnoch]

8. As far as I know, i'm the only out person in the South American Region

for my company.

I never get tired. I have found my co-workers and management very supportive. I have gotten the regional manager to change policy, and allow my partner to move down here, and get on my work visa as my recognized spouse, and my company now offers benefits as well to same sex partners.

Additionally, I take no small amount of pride in taking some of the conservatives that I work with, and changing their perspective to being more accepting of us.

It's been a loooong road, but through a "soft touch" and "soft approach" I have won over quite a few people, and broadened their minds. It isn't perfect, but it's a good step.

[Not Me]

9. I am...

but I am the boss. hehe.

[Rhythm]

10. Only non-straight person at the pub where i work...

Lyric and i live in north-central West Virginia, in the town that is home to WVU.
I am the only non-straight person who works in a particular storied old pub in the middle of downtown.
I am unabashedly 'out', talk about my life the same as anyone else working there (we're all on each other's Facebook friends' lists), and Lyric comes down to hang out with me frequently while i'm working.

I am the luckiest person i know, because where i work, there is no homophobic bigotry at all, and none tolerated. The owner even sponsored one of WVU's QSU Pride Week events last fall (and will do so again this year) -- amusingly dubbed "Have a Beer With a Queer" night!

Here's a pic from last year's Christmas Party, Lyric and i in the center, surrounded by several co-workers and other invited friends.

[Vanje]

14. Yep

and I'm quite sure I'm the only gay person that any of my co-workers personally knows, (or thinks they know).

[NMMNG]

15. I'm not

But I'm fortunate because my field tends to have a higher than average number of gay/lesbian people (though none of them are at my particular worksite). The flip side is the field tends to draw many overtly religious types so I'm somewhat isolated as an atheist.

You're not being whiny. Feeling like you're the only one of your kind in any environment can be terribly isolating. The only advice I can give is to increase your out-of-work contacts so you have a better support network elsewhere. Perhaps you could exchange texts or e-mails during lunch or other breaks to help keep your morale up.