Why Our Family Is Fighting DOMA

[William769]

I do not ask for special treatment, nor extra consideration. I ask only that my family be acknowledged. My wife, who was considerably “out” when we first got together, returned to the closet in many ways in order to protect my career while I served under the now-repealed “don't ask, don't tell” policy. Thanks to her support, over the past 10 years when I was mobilized three times in response to the September 11 attacks, I was able to leave my civilian and family responsibilities in her hands.

Each time, she was cut off and alone, without support from my unit of assignment — no outreach from any military deployment support agency, no access to the many benefits that my legally married compatriots in arms received, no communication officially via the command family readiness channels, or unofficially via the family member telephone tree. With no community and no connection, she was completely isolated.

DADT is gone, and with it the need to hide, yet she remains unacknowledged and without the security that I should be able to provide her through my service. She can't be added to my health plan. She is not calculated into the family separation benefit. I do not receive pay at the dependent rate that includes her.

Recently, we attempted to register her into the military’s benefits system as my spouse. We were turned away. We then designated her as the guardian to receive benefits on behalf of "my" daughter (she is the birth mother). That’s something a recognized spouse would not need to do. We were issued a letter she would have to show and were told that anything she purchased at the exchange or commissary would be scrutinized by the store representative to ensure that it was an appropriate purchase for direct use of the child only — to the point that if the representative felt the food was not age appropriate, the purchase would be denied.

Lieutenant Colonel Victoria Hudson has served more than 31 years in the Army Reserves.,a career that includes five mobilizations, three to combat theaters. She has held a variety of staff and command positions to include Brigade Operations Officer twice (G3/S3), two company commands and two battalion commands. She is a writer and lives with her wife and daughter in northern California where she has several book projects in development.

http://www.advocate.com/Politics/Commentary/Oped_Why_Our_Family_Is_Fighting_DOMA/

[Bluenorthwest]

1. The only repsonse the other side has is 'Sanctity!!!!!'

Then they point at Newt and Kardashian and the other Sanctified Ones as proof of their dogmatic beliefs!