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The F word- a little story about a great friend of mine taking it back

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Dragonbreathp9d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-08-11 05:39 PM
Original message
The F word- a little story about a great friend of mine taking it back
I really really hate hearing the fa---t word. I can't even type it or say it myself- there is so much venom and hatred in it ever time I hear it- and working at bars on 6th st in Austin I hear it plenty. I really have to control my anger and maintaining professionally is occasionally difficult- I generally - of I can control my anger enough to say something without loosing it politely state that I do not appreciate bigoted slurs being used in my prescence- racial or sexual. I have seen some people that Really stop and think about it for a second- not even realizing what they were doing. But then there are others- they get thrown out, and I'll admit, shamefully, sometimes end up bloodied. The only time in my life I have ever thrown the first punch was when some older fucker just would not stop rambling on and on about how terrible the queers and anything associated with them were- in my defense I did give him fair warning it would get ugly. As clarification I am straight, just an incredibly staunch ally. I actually used to be homophobic- but that metamorphosis is another story.

So- my friend- he is bi- though much more physically attracted to men- although he "loves boobies- just another thing to play with"- anyhow- he was the best friend of my first love/kiss/girlfriend whom I still have a great friendship with- so we have known each other for awhile. One day walking down 6th (originally from Denton Tx) we see each other across the road- sprint to meet each other with an embrace in the middle and bang our knees together so badly he actually had to get a brace for about two months. Turns out he had moved in less than a mile from me.

Anyhow- he refers to his style, himself, his spraypainted car as "faggoty" with just the right inflection and smile that let's you know he means it in the most (sorry, I have to) fabulous of ways. Even the look in his eye let's you know he is so proud of who he is, others who identify with him, and his ability to be completely open about all of it. (we grew up in a place that while it is better now- was definitely not gay friendly). While I still won't call him this, just as when I hang out with all of my black hip-hop friend's (check out Park N Murray and Calm Child for good, intelligent hip hop- oh, and on the glbt subject- professoranarchy- the best trans rapper in the world) I won't use the n word, I feel it is an important step in trying to take the venom out of the word.

First protest I organized- http://www.dentonrc.com/sharedcontent/dws/drc/localnews/stories/DRC_protest_1116.1b8c46e2f.html
And an example of the anti-gay mentality in Denton- http://www.dallasobserver.com/2009-02-12/music/the-return-of-mable-peabody-s/
Notice how it doesn't state anything about the cause- that's because even though the individual was hurling anti-gay slurs while he firebombed the bar- no media or police investigation gave that HATE CRIME any credit. I later became friend's with the owner - Kelly- and told me her story- there is actually a really powerful T shirt available with the reopen date on it and a picture of her siting out on the curb crying in the rain after her bar- the one and still ony gay bar in Denton, was still smoldering into the ground. The quote reads "Love always conquers hate"

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Dragonbreathp9d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-08-11 09:09 PM
Response to Original message
1. Kick???
:)
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chalky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-09-11 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Kick.
:)
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The Doctor. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-09-11 01:04 AM
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3. Okay... couple things...
Edited on Fri Dec-09-11 01:07 AM by The Doctor.
First, you're a writer. As of now, you need a book on writing. (I read another recent thread of yours where you said so)

I do not claim to be perfect myself. We all have bad habits. Mine include using the semicolon in a most 'unorthodox' fashion. Your hyphens do the job you want them to, but they are a bit abused. But for the sake of poor pete (starting a sentence with 'but' is also 'bad'), 'Loose' is what your shoes are when untied. 'Lose' is when you are bereft.

Second, your friend is right, and this deals more with your fobia (I meant that), here's something you might appreciate;

The word "Ni**er".

Something really fascinating has happened over the past few decades. You see, the 'black culture' that gave us blues, rock and roll, more cultural idioms and phrases than we can count, hip-hop, and lime-green windshield wipers that match the lime-green tire walls on the Lincoln Town Car driven by the guy in the lime-green sweatshirt (I shit you not, I saw it one night with my very own eyes) has also done something which is very sociologically potent...

They took that word, owned it, transformed it, and made it something different.

When it comes to social resilience, one culture (not 'race') took one horrible word and changed it from a term of subjugation into a term of righteous endearment.

It's still verbotten for white folk to use it casually, but eventually even white folk will say 'Ni**ah' as a form of praise for someone they identify with.

The culture took a hateful word, turned it into an exclusive term of endearment, and made it something only a privileged few 'non-whites' can use.

Now that's sociology!

One day, that word will be nothing like it is now. Trust me, I've seen this shit happen for a while.

(See how I just said 'shit'?)
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Dragonbreathp9d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-09-11 02:07 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Agreed on every point-
However I am writing on an iPhone on a political forum site(;) therefore I let some of the rules I would generally adhere to in a short story or novella format slide like James Brown- and don't get me started on my academic formatting. Some formats I use as can easily/best portray my message depending on the forum.

(but) (teehee I'm just having fun now) your second point is incredibly spot on and poignant- although I think the overuse of the "n" word in most modern day hiphop is more degrading than helpful (mostly considering syntaxan overall message) words only carry the power that we allow them to have.

Which brings me to something wholly different: an academic paper I have been working on for years (I feel as though I may be approaching a point at which I am comfortable With submission for publication) on the right's usage of pejorative politics (liberal, patriot, compassionate, etc. ). I think I might throw it up on DU for constructive criticism when I am satisfied enough with the paper.

(and) trust me- I know that you are- not only right- but also that it can be detracting- much like an awesome amount of alligator alliteration often noticed negating the knowledge of the noon news.

:)
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The Doctor. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-09-11 12:13 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Ah, gotcha.

Alliterative allocation and arrangement allowing amusement and amazement affects anyone's attention.

I get that. ;)

I too attempted to use a droid for posting. It's very unwieldy.

As for your paper, I'd love to have a look.




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Dragonbreathp9d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-09-11 04:30 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Trying to type something long and involved with my thumbs
Makes me want to put my face in a blender and hold liquify
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