Were you ever beaten up for being a faggot?

[Zep]

I was in junior high school. Got beat up all the time. That was back in the 1970s.

Maybe not strictly a gay rights question, anyone percieved as
"wimpy" was a faggot.

But I sure was a faggot. I knew it even then.

Later, I was a tough guy and people leaved me alone.

Anecdotes, please?

[sans qualia]

1. I got lucky, in a weird sort of way

For some reason, when I was a freshman in high school, the new vice principal became absolutely convinced that I was going to come in one day with guns and kill everybody, a la Columbine. I had to see a psychologist or be expelled. Apparently the news spread quickly, and from then until the day I graduated I was regarded by many of my classmates as "dangerous." :evilgrin: So no bullying for me.

On edit: Welcome to DU!! :hi:

[ezee]

2. 1975, I was

walking down the street in Spokane Wa. with my then b/f and some drunk sob's drove by in a pic-up truck. The rowdys in the bed started yelling insults (my b/f was kinda a swish). Then they threw a pitchfork and it landed in my upper arm. Off to the hospital I went.

[mitchtv]

3. one time on a SF Muni bus, a group of HS thugs

attempted to bully me. I remembered that they try to pull your jacket up over your head to disable your arms and vision. When they saw me pull my zipper of my leather jacket up to the highest point, thry knew I wasn't going anywhere. I was going to work , and was not in the mood to be terrorized. they loudly backed off, with many Aids comments. another time one leaned on me while sitting next to me and would not let me get off at my Market and Castro exit. I stood up in my seat and walked over the top of the seats to leave. suprising the bully.A third time well lets just say the 24 Divsadero is an adventure not for the faint of heart gay man

[Duncan Grant]

13. The 24 Da'viz is still a bit dicey -

but it was really bad in the 80's (with the 'kill fags' graffitti adding insult to injury...). Now the 22 Zoo - that's been a scary ride for over 20 years! You'll only find me on the J Church these days...
(Hola mitchtv - :hi: )

[mitchtv]

15. I'm in Palm Springs now

more gentle still dangerous at night. I've had many more tales of the city like above. But I hate to type

[ronnykmarshall]

32. I've had my share on the 24 D'viz as well.

I lived on D'viz for a year. Was glad when I moved back to the 'stro after that.

To answer the question at hand, yes I was beat up once. Well just punched in the face (robbery).

[sportndandy]

4. Being um straight

I can say that everytime I was ever hit I was probably called faggot. I think that is the worst kids are willing to say until they work themselves up to mutherfucker. Anyway, I think you are talking about when homophobes beat someone whom they specifically target as being gay.
I don't want to sound naive, but does that happen a lot? I perceive homophobes as being repressed homosexuals in denial. Is that your experience?

[GrrrlRomeo]

12. Being stereotyped...

I had several guy friends that were called "fag", but were straight. They were just your typical artistic, musical straight guys. But they were labeled gay because of gay stereotypes. "Art fag" and "band fag" were common terms for guys in art or music classes.

You don't have to be gay to be gay bashed. You just have to do or be interested in something attributed to gay stereotypes.

[Duncan Grant]

14. Welcome to DU, GrrlRomeo.

Excellent observation that you don't have to be gay to be gay bashed - it's good to be reminded of that. :thumbsup:

Being the "other" is always dangerous, no matter how the "other" is defined.

[readmoreoften]

29. I'm femme so I'm pretty invisible to everyone, but my partner

is really butch and a constant target pretty much. S/he has a chip on her front tooth from being curbed and has been chased with gangs of guys wielding baseball bats.

We get harrassed walking down the street. Another butch-femme couple we know was attacked and the boi was beaten into the hospital.

[acmavm]

5. Oh geez, I'm so sorry, sorry for all of you. No one should have to live

through that shit. Wait, yes you should live through it, thank God you did. What I meant was you shouldn't have to be put through that kind of shit. Not ever.

[gater]

6. No, but I prevented violence toward gays and others in the 70's.

I was over 6'4" by high school, and would not tolerate any attack on any social group or individual because they were different. I knew a girl who hanged herself because of the abuse. I didn't know her well, but it still hit me right between the eyes! If you were in school with me, I would have stood with you, as would my group of close Friends. We were not gay, nor anything really but WASPS and a few boys that went to church at Saint Mary's or Saint Anthony's. We did know, and still know what is right! I am sorry you are harmed by ignorance. Someday it will be different!

[noamnety]

9. I did the same

One of the tough guys in gym class was harrassing another guy for being gay ... and I snapped. I went up to the guy, grabbed him by the shirt collar, and told him off.

Me being a girl who was known for being a dodgeball target, that must have surprised the hell out of him, everyone there knew he could beat me to a pulp with one hand. But it did put a stop to the situation, not just for that day.

[HawkerHurricane]

7. Yes.

I was assaulted repeatedly for being a skinny, bookwormish, wierd looking homo faggot... Jr. High was hell.
It got better in High School, I joined the swim team which made me mildly jockish; my shoulders broadened, and I learned how to act in a way that didn't say 'victim' (stand up straight, eye contact, don't flinch, and a fake bravado). I was still a nerd, but wasn't picked on.
Which is wierd since I was straight as a board.

[rangergordon]

8. Oh yeah. Constantly.

I was attacked several times in Jr. High and High School for being gay. I was openly gay in the early/mid-1980s at a time before there were any gay/straight alliances or other clubs promoting tolerance.

I'm not a violent person; I've never really known how to conduct myself in a fistfight. A bookish lad, I was much more comfortable in the library than in gym class. But I did eventually discover that even just closing my eyes and swinging my fists wildly around was safer than lying there in a fetal position wishing the pummelling would end.

I don't know what caused me to start fighting back -- I guess the years of frustration from being humiliated and beaten were building up and I finally just snapped. The day I opened my eyes and saw Lloyd, one of my chief tormenters, running away bleeding profusely from his nose was a very proud day for me. I must have gotten a lucky shot in -- who knows? I wasn't watching.

The faculty -- particularly the girls' gym teacher who witnessed the melee, I now recall -- seemed relieved and rather proud of me for finally fighting back, because although I was a good student and well-liked by the teachers and staff, none of them really knew how to deal with the gay issue. (It's illegal in this state for a teacher to even mention the word "homosexuality.")

I went to the school office where my friends, the nice office ladies, cooed over me and dressed my wounds. The bully was disliked among the staff and faculty: He ended up skulking off to the locker room and had to stop the bleeding himself.

Lloyd never did bother me again after that, though.

[Duncan Grant]

17. Your story is probably familiar to a lot of us here.

I know it sounds odd to say "welcome to DU" in such serious thread but - welcome anyway! There's a lot of bright and empathetic people here - you're going to love it. :hi:

[BeeBee]

10. Besides my brother?

no... but still dealing with the aftermath...

[GrrrlRomeo]

11. Name calling and vandalism

Obviously a boy beating up a girl for whatever reason wouldn't be tolerated. So, I was called dyke (among other things) and my car was vandalized a few times.

One time my car was covered in spit. It must've taken at least 10 boys to spit on it that much. Another time someone wrote "DIKE" on the roof. (Yeah, misspelling and all.)

I think one of my teachers, or someone reported the harrassment to the Vice Principle. There was one class in particular that I simply stopped going to because there were 4 guys that did not like gays and didn't make it a secret. It was a social studies class and the topic came up frequently. The teacher was too oblivious to realize that they were not bringing up the topic out of interest in homosexuality.

We didn't have any rules on harrassing someone because of their sexual orientation, but we did have strict rules on sexual harrassment. He informed me that the things the boys were calling me fall under sexual harrassment and explained to me the procedure for filing a sexual harrassment complaint. Faced with the possibility of getting kicked off the school sports teams, they stopped.

[Duncan Grant]

16. I'll come out about my experience with bashing.

What I remember most is that it's never just 1 guy looking for a fair fight. It's always a pack of giggly thugs who either lay in wait for a victim or prey upon the most vunerable. It's ugly. It's traumatic. It's dehumanizing.

I've never experienced physical violence here in San Francisco only a very rare 'faggot' shouted from a moving car. If you have been a victim of violence (gay, straight, male, female, young, old,...) consider attending a group or individual therapy. This sort of evil leaves a mark and you don't have to tough it out alone, ok? :grouphug:

(and welcome to DU, Zep) :thumbsup:

[LDS Jock]

18. Why didn't you ask if anyone was beaten up for being gay?

Faggot is a loaded word. I see you are new. Might I suggest going to GD and starting other threads titled "Were you beaten up for being a (fill in favorite hate word)" and let them welcome you to DU.

[Misunderestimator]

20. I'm going to agree with you on this one...

That was definitely my first instinct followed by the fact that the OP hasn't responded once to his own thread. A very loaded word, faggot is... I don't run around calling myself a dyke.

[GrrrlRomeo]

39. I have no problem calling myself a dyke

I actually have more issues with the term "lesbian". I prefer the terms gay and queer because I don't see why we have to differentiate between genders.

[Misunderestimator]

41. I have a problem calling myself a dyke in a thread title...

and in places that other gay women may be offended by it. Not that someone might have called me a dyke, that's happened plenty, but that I would say "Have you [whatever} because you are a dyke?" And frankly, faggot to me sounds even worse.

[GrrrlRomeo]

45. I have a problem with people telling ME what I should call myself

I would not refer to, or call anyone anything that they don't like. But what I call myself is my decision.

[Misunderestimator]

49. Apparently I'm not making my point...

call yourself what you want... have a nice day, and welcome to DU.

[BR_Parkway]

23. My thought exactly n/t

[Zep]

25. I know it's a loaded word ...

... but that is what I was called.

[LDS Jock]

30. and its still what you call yourself?

"But I was sure I was a faggot" .. I think probably everyone here has been called one thing or another. I certainly have. But I would never use someone else's hate word to define myself. Being gay is part of who I am. Being a faggot is not.

[queerart]

31. I Think It's Ok To Reclaim A Word

We as a group should reclaim them all....

Fag, Queer, and there are many more.....

If we did.. (make them ours) they loose power... plain and simple. The poster I would guess is (and it's only a guess) still in pain over that word. In his own way I think he was trying to reach out to others....

(eg)Geee, this shitty thing happend to me... can anyone else relate?

Attacking him for the use of a "word" that others are not comfortable with is really not the answer....

We all have baggage friends... (me more so than others) so maybe to offer a friendly hand to Zep is the answer.....

Zep my friend... know that you are not alone... However, some how you must put yourself in a place to forgive (not forget) and grow Spiritually... or it will eat you up like cancer....


I send you many good wishes!

[ronnykmarshall]

33. Reclaim it all you want.

I hate that fucking word.

[queerart]

34. Ummmm.....OK.....

It's a word my friend....

How do you feel about.....


Queer?

or

Butt Pirate?

Are there other words we should not use (Gay to Gay) in our own community?

What does everyone think?

Should certain words be banned in Gay context?

[ronnykmarshall]

37. I'm not talking about banning words.

I think I'm pickin' up watcha puttin' down however! ;-)

[terrya]

19. Several times in high school.

Hey, if you're not straight and you don't fit in...then you're beaten up and you're made to feel like you're sick, disgusting worthless shit.

That was sure the modus operandi at Eisenhower High School in Decatur, Illinois in 1970 - 1974.

I've spent some time in counselling (not all of the time) talking about that shit. Christ, to think that that crap could bother me years later....

[Jackie97]

21. I'm not gay....

but in seventh grade, this girl that hated me since the fifth grade started calling me a lesbian. She was one of the biggest girls in school, and I was one of the weakest ones. In fear that she was going to make me appear gay (which would make me a physical target), I hit her for claiming I was gay. Later on, she admitted that her problem with me was that I stared at her too much. I agreed to stop staring at her so much and we "made up". At the time, I didn't have any real consciousness about the gay rights issue. I just knew I didn't want to become target number one for being "gay". I sometimes feel badly about it now. I should have said "Well, there's nothing wrong with being gay" but I was just a kid. Rumors that I was gay kept on though.

Later, I had a friend who was rumored to be gay, and he was targeted a lot. He started fighting back too. He would admit to me that he really was gay later on. Oddly enough, he decided to transfer to a fundamentalist Christian school. He said he liked it better there because they weren't picking fights with him and because they were nice (which shows the difference between fundamentalists and regular homophobic people). However, he dropped out of that school for some reason and later got his diploma at a Community College.

After I graduated high school, I got a lot of the scoop of who and all turned out to be gay the whole time (and didn't mention it).

It's amazing kids live through school.

[frictionlessO]

22. Almost had my bi cover blown a few times, but it turned out I was

just to big and burly for anyone to mess with me... never mind the fact that I was just dieing to be one of the girls... still am....

[sangh0]

24. Yes

even though I wasn't

[BTTB]

26. Oh,

Sidenote about faggot:

I don't care if the faggot-bomb gets dropped, I call myself a faggot at times, and it doesn't hurt me in the least. I won't speak for others, because maybe they've had worse experiences than I have (check the thread about the first time you thought you were gay).

[sangh0]

28. Thank you

there was no offense taken. I no longer care about the "faggot-bomb" either. But I got a laugh out of the term "faggot-bomb". Thanks again

[Cuban_Liberal]

27. Never, but...

I've kicked a few homophobic asses defending people who WERE being beaten up...

:evilgrin:

[ronnykmarshall]

35. My hero!

:loveya:

I love it when we fight back. I used to live on Collingwood and 19th (one street off Castro in SF) and our apartment was right near Collingwood Park (great place to 'meat' guys :silly:). Middle of the night some was banging on our door and ringing the bell. (ticked me off ... me and the boyfriend were .... well ya know)

I thought it was someone getting attacked. It was. Two straight couples (teenaged assholes from the East Bay) were running like scared chickens up my street.

Got dressed and found out (from my EX boyfriend who was looking to 'meat' someone at the park) that these little shits started trouble and got a little more than they could handle. Nothing fills my heart like seeing gay bashers get their asses handed to them.

The cops came and they were arrested, all four of them. They had parked their car by the park and came back to get it. That's when they got thrown in the slammer.

I betcha mommy and daddy were no happy campers when their little brats call to get bailed out of jail.

[justin899]

36. For the life of me I don't understand why people think its ok to use

the 'F' word. I hate that word with a passion.

It makes about as much sense as an African-American who uses the 'N' word. Both instances make me cringe.

[Brian_Expat]

38. I sorta understand it. . .

. . . the way people in the 1990s tried to reclaim "queer," or how some lesbians call themselves "dykes" to destroy the nastiness of the word. However, I'm with you in terms of reaction -- reading that word just makes me want to vomit and my family and friends know full well that I don't like to hear them using it. . . even in jest.

[GrrrlRomeo]

46. It reduces it's effect as an insult

"Gay" for instance is becoming quite a popular insult, not for homosexuals, but for things deemed "stupid". You know..."that's so gay". Should we stop using the term "gay" because people are now back to using it as an insult? If we keep letting other's define what words are insults we're going to run out of things to call ourselves. Even the word "homosexual" is seen as something dirty to people.

[queerart]

50. You Are So Correct!

Thanks!

[LDS Jock]

48. I agree with you Justin

and BTW, very sexy name :) The word is very loaded with hate. To me, it represents what we want to overcome, it's a label used to keep us in place. There will never be a faggot rights movement. Yes, people are free to use whatever words they want, but why anyone would want to be part of the problem instead of the solution is beyond me.

[Malikshah]

53. It's a matter of owning the word.

Owning it, defining it-- controlling it-- that's the key. To avoid it is to lend it strength for whoever uses it--Personally, I'd like to be the one driving this little car--not being driven around or away by it.

Just my opinion--but there it is.

[tjwmason]

40. My school was a tad bizzare

It was all boys, and superficially an utterly homophobic environment. Gay was the favoured insult for any reason (a friend used to walk around with a couple of books in his blazer pockets which was gay). However somebody did actually come out, and there was barely even a raised eye-brow; no taunting, certainly no violence.

I get the impression that we Brits have more of a 'live and let live' attitude.

[FaerieWizard]

42. From 3rd grade all the way to 12th

Yes, 3rd Grade, you heard me.

As any gay male, I always found it easier to be friends with girls than boys. I have had very few male friends my entire life.

Starting in 3rd grade the boys found this weird and teased me that I would have a sex change.

By 4th grade I was a gay-wad (that oh so popular 80s phrase) or a fag.

7-9th grade was the worst. I was teased and tormented on a daily basis, and the school did nothing. I would get up to do an oral presentation and be openly mocked by the kids, you would ask questions with lisps and do the limp wrist movements while they talked about me. The teachers would either say nothing or say "Now you stop that" in a playful manner.

My mom moved me to another school district at the end of 9t grade. 10th-12th was wonderful as I was in a smaller school with kids who didn't know me as "that fag." There was only one kid in my new school who picked on me, which was ironic given he was morbidly obese. You'd think someone who would normally be a bully target wouldn't be a bully.

~The Fairiewizard.

[davidinalameda]

43. duh

I'm from West Virginia--of course I was

and yes, welcome to all the newbies

[GodlessBiker]

44. I beat someone up for calling me a faggot. Didn't happen again.

[Padraig18]

47. A guy TRIED to beat me up for being gay once.

He got the holy snot kicked out of him, for his trouble.

:D

[Deja Q]

51. Yes. Even by a young woman (17). She

somehow guessed I was gay and attacked me one day.

[dsc]

52. In Middle School

I was habitually humilated and ruffed up. In high school it got better as I was in accellerated classes for most subjects or things like band and choir.

[Fire]

54. I was

and I'm not even gay.

[kweerwolf]

55. Maybe I was just lucky going to a small school ...

... Heck, my graduating class had 61 and a half people (the extra half was a pregnant salutatorian). In such a small school there just wasn't as much rigid social strata as in larger schools. Sure you had all the different groups - stoners, nerds, jocks, etc. - but the boundaries tended to be a lot more fluid. I might have unofficially been voted "Most Likely to Commit Sodomy" in high school, but I never had to put up with any high school bashing since I also had a reputation as the geeky, brainy type and would have refused to help anyone who gave me crap with the algebra homework.