A new twist on the gay adoption issue.

[Jean Louise Finch]

I don't know if this was posted already, but I got such a kick out of it, and I thought I ought to post it.
From the carpetbagger report: Should Republicans be allowed to adopt?

Go Hagan!

[Jean Louise Finch]

1. Whoops! Algorem posted this story below

Sorry! I missed it in my scan!

You can join that conversation here.

[bliss_eternal]

2. Without even reading it, I say no.

I get pretty frustrated when I'm in orange county, california and see all the families that are foster parents to children of color. I wonder what they teach those kids about their culture, about democracy. It troubles me. Yet they are being a blessing and providing the children with much needed homes...

[Lost-in-FL]

3. Some parents DO care about the kids culture...

A friend of mine adopted "Russian" kids (3 and 5 yrs old at the time of adoption) and they were paying for Russian lessons so they would not lose their skills. I though that was so cool.

[bliss_eternal]

4. That's wonderful!

I didn't mean to imply that ALL foster or adptee parents don't. Orange County, California is VERY conservative. They are pretty much the rw stronghold in CA. While it's changing and there is much more diversity present there than ever before, it's still conservative.

The concern I expressed is for people like THAT rearing children that are different from themselves. I know there is still a lot of bigotry and hatred in Orange county. While I don't think one could take in children from a culture one has contempt for, it still concerns me.

I've heard of people raising children to hate their own ethnicity--not in this case, in an unrelated example, so I know it's possible. That is where my concern comes in--not in all foster parent or adoptee situations of course.

Sorry I didn't convey that before. :hi:

[Lost-in-FL]

5. Oh no... no problem here!

:pals: :hi: back at ya!!

"The concern I expressed is for people like THAT rearing children that are different from themselves. I know there is still a lot of bigotry and hatred in Orange county. While I don't think one could take in children from a culture one has contempt for, it still concerns me."

I share your concern. I think it is very irresponsible for people to do such things, to instill hatred about ones culture.

[bliss_eternal]

7. Not to defend them, but

it's probably inadvertent. They probably don't intend to do it in the sense we think of it, they inadvertently do so because of their personal belief system regarding another culture, say these things around the child without considering the fact the child shares this culture doesn't even occur to them.

I don't speak from personal experience, just my idea of what would probably happen...

I had a friend that told me about a family that took in a child that was of a culture they had a very low opinion of. Sadly, that child grew up hating her own culture--herself. The story was shocking and sad to me, but I think of it every time I see latino or black children with caucasians in orange county...I shouldn't but I do wonder...

:pals: :hug: :hi:

[Ayesha]

8. Adoption and identity

I think it comes from both the parents and what the child picks up from the larger culture. I had a friend who was adopted as an infant by a wealthy family. She is white, but she has always known that her biological mother was (her words) "poor white trash". Growing up, she felt closer to her Latina nanny and her nanny's family than her own. She has siblings who are the biological children of her parents, and she feels less valued than them - how much of that is real and how much is due to her behavior, I'm not sure. She is very intelligent but has struggled with drugs and alcohol and an inability to take responsibility for her life and actions. She has rebelled a lot from her upbringing; she has many visible tattoos and hangs around with a pretty rough lesbian crowd. I believe that a lot of her problems are due to self-loathing and feeling like she is white trash and doesn't deserve the opportunities she has had in life, combined with anger at her family, who look down on people of her biological mother's background. Oh and BTW, her father is a Republican and lives in Orange County.

My guess is that internalized racism and classism would be magnified for someone of a different race than his/her parents, UNLESS the parents are taught how to think about and discuss these kinds of issues, which is supposed to happen when couples prepare to adopt, but doesn't always (or it doesn't sink in).

I think about this a lot since my partner and I want to adopt someday, and since we're both white there's a very good chance our kid(s) will be a different race than we are.

[bliss_eternal]

9. Sounds like your friend had a lot of issues--

I'm sorry she felt so badly about herself. You are probably right about why she felt the way she did--not deserving, etc. I hope that her sense of self improves...

It's interesting to me how many children of wealth seem to feel closer to their nannies than their parents (I've heard this before).

It sounds like you and your partner will be great parents! :hi:

p.s. Love your picture in your post. I should get that shirt and wear it to Disneyland one day! LOL! Some of the conservatives out there would flip out, I'm sure... :eyes:

[we can do it]

6. Thanks for Bringing This Up Again - Too Funny!

Expose the bigots for what they are.